3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt.2: Our Father’s Imperfections… – Intercession For A Generation Blog

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So, Troy made some poor choices. He had an affair, and a child outside of his marriage. He held his son back from a possibly great opportunity. He was a bit stubborn not realizing that the world around him was changing, and he needed not be so closed minded.

Who doesn’t know a Black father like that to some degree. Those actions still do not qualify us as children to dishonor our fathers. The Bible is clear that we are to honor both our fathers and mothers so our days will be long on the earth (Exodus 20:12). Scripture does not tell us to honor our parents if they are perfect. It doesn’t say if your parents do no wrong honor them. It simply says to honor them.

Honoring our parents is important as children because we are going to be the ones to see the majority of their mistakes due to the close proximity of living space. God knew this. He knew that seeing our parents especially our father’s faults would tempt us to look at him in a lesser or demeaning way, and God says not so.

It is God’s will that we are so whole in Christ that we began to learn through our relationships with our imperfect parents how to forgive and love Biblically like Christ. Christ sees our imperfections and still makes the choice to love us. Our homes our actually our first, and best training grounds to being true and successful believers. If we can get through our homes, we can get through anything. Seeing our parents imperfections and still deciding to love and forgive them not only ministers to our parents, but it in turn ministers to us.

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:20-21

I am speaking from experience in dealing with my father who is a good man just imperfect like everyone else. When my brothers and I, choose to continue to honor him in the face of dishonor or faults and frailties exposed, we are actually making a positive impact on him while freeing ourselves from the bondage of un-forgiveness, anger, bitterness, and rage.

This has proved to bring conviction in my father’s heart encouraging him to change and reconsider some of his stubborn ways just like the scripture says above. We will bring coals over his head. I believe the metaphor, “to heap burning coals on his head”, means to temper a situation that could be out of control. Similar to how a fire can get out of control, but coals are something that are used to temper fire, electricity, and things that can cause an explosion outside of one’s control turning out bad.

On the contrary, when we choose to honor our parents, we take an otherwise combustible situation and turn it around so that God can use it for his good. You never know if God will use your obedience in honoring your father to minister to your father. We have to remember that they have issues from their childhood also. Much like Troy, who in the film was on his own since the young age of 14 years old.

This content is published by Russelyn Williams of Intercession for A Generation on more encouraging content & books on “Life & Relationship Lessons from a Biblical & Practical Perspective” please visit

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