Are you a grace hoarder? – Carry on My Heart

There are days where God’s grace is enormous and I feel it all around me. And then there are the days where it’s nowhere to be found—well, at least I can’t feel it. The former are the days I desperately want to hoard grace for the latter.

Oh, never heard of grace hoarding, you say? Maybe it’s not a thing.

#gracehoarding

NOW it’s a thing.

Hashtag anything and it suddenly becomes a thing.

Grace hoarding for beginners

So, if you’d love to jump on board this grace hoarding bandwagon, I’d be glad to give you a tour.

First, be sure to always hold on as tight as you possibly can to the “good” in your life right now. (Because quite frankly, you can never be too certain what awaits you tomorrow.)

Secondly, you are never sure when God will come through for you again, so you’d better look out for number one and hoard every ounce of grace today. Because I mean, who says grace will show up tomorrow?!

Riiiiighht…

I should mention this wasn’t the most well-thought-out plan.

Perhaps you don’t want to stay on this bandwagon any longer?

Yeah, neither do I…

*Jumping off and standing in the dust.

Are you a grace hoarder?

Greedy Grace

I coined my term “grace hoarder” on a memorable, fun day. I was on King Arther’s giant carousel in the middle of Fantasy Land with my then five-year-old son. There I was in the center of the “happiest place on Earth” and I found myself concerned that the idyllic moment wouldn’t last.

I began thinking about how much I wanted every moment to be just like this one. The chattering and laughter that surrounded me faded as I slipped further into my mind. All I could focus on was only wanting good and obsessing over how desperately I didn’t want to spin into a downward spiral of anxiety and fear ever again.

And wouldn’t ya know it, I started feeling anxious…

I remember stopping right then and thinking “What on Earth am I doing?!”

I was grace-hoarding.

Instead of simply enjoying the beauty of the day and truly living in the moment, I was searching down every possible negative that could happen and then deciding how I would solve it.

We’re often told to plan for the future, however, that doesn’t mean planning for the future of “what ifs.”

I’m selfish and greedy with the grace God gives as if He won’t be giving me any more. Like perhaps tomorrow His grace will finally run dry and won’t meet me just as it always has done before.

Storing up grace for tomorrow

I’m a grace hoarder.

I desperately want to hold on to the good in today and prevent the bad in tomorrow—like the aforementioned Disneyland moment— by clutching really good moments in my hands.

Grace hoarders try to figure out if the grace we have for right now can handle the “what-if” of tomorrow—you know, the moment where you say to yourself, “how would I ever survive that?!” and then try to work it out in your head. My mom used to call this borrowing trouble, and just in case you haven’t picked up on this yet, I was really good at it.

But it’s not just about worrying. Grace hoarding is more about not being entirely sure that God is big enough to carry you through the “next thing…” or deciding maybe he’ll just choose not to.

 The original grace hoarders…   Exodus 16:13-21

Waking up one early morning in their wanderings, the Israelite people found that the dew had left behind an unexpected treat—a thin, bread-like substance. Their God-appointed leader, Moses, instructed them to gather only what was needed for their family for the day.

Just enough for today.

Although most listened, some of them decided to hold a little extra of this magical bread over for the next morning. Some chose to hoard their provisions, worried that God wouldn’t show up for them tomorrow the way he had shown up today.

However, when the new morning arrived the reserved bread was worm-ridden and foul.

It looked as though they needed to trust what Moses had told them after-all. Because amidst the dazzling dew that next morning was more of what they called “manna.”

God would provide tomorrow just as he had done today.

 Our manna isn’t bread laid out from heaven but instead, it’s God’s grace that he gives daily.

I’m no different from the Israelites. It’s easy to sit back and point a finger at how untrusting they were, but I’m just as guilty. Because today’s grace was never meant for tomorrow. It was meant for right now—for this moment, this day—not any other time.

When I wrap my hands around the grace given specifically for today and try with all my might to make it extend into tomorrow it becomes worm ridden. What once was beautiful becomes moldy and rancid.

Quite simply, God’s grace is only meant for the moment it’s given in.

Fresh grace. Every. Day.

I battle with the idea that I need to hold on to the good moments because the bad ones are most likely just around the corner. Am I alone in this?

I think maybe I’m not…

And just in case you’ve been a fellow grace-hoarder, let me just say—as much to you as to myself—his grace will always show up, friend.

Because he has promised his mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

As the sun rises, reflecting off of the shimmering dewdrops of a day in its infancy, so too, his grace arrives with it—new, fresh and applicable to exactly what you will experience for that day. There’s no need to hold today’s grace with clenched fists, greedy and untrusting that he won’t show up like he’s promised.

Whether tomorrow is good, bad or just okay, tomorrow’s grace is right where it needs to be—in tomorrow. 

As always, friend, thank you for stopping by,


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