Knowing What to Say When You're Talking About Yourself - Grit & Grace

We’ve all been there, right? The fear that rises up when you find out you’ll be talking about yourself in front of a group of people. It doesn’t really matter how large or small the group is. At some point, usually shortly after you’ve gotten there and have been lulled into a false sense of comfort and security, you hear it: the call to gather around and have everyone take turns introducing themselves. That’s usually followed with some sort of ice breaker game, which is just as horrific.

I think the worst is when the host/hostess/facilitator incorporates the icebreaker into the introduction. The back of your neck suddenly gets really hot, probably to off-set the redness that has taken over your cheeks. Those lovable cold sweats make their appearance shortly after that. The fun hasn’t really started until those noises start thundering from your stomach that you’re PRAYING no one else can hear. “Oh boy, I’m getting a little hungry,” awkwardly escapes from your mouth because you guessed it, they heard that godawful rumbling. They ALWAYS hear. All of this and more awaits you when you don’t know what to say when you’re talking about yourself.

Why is this so difficult?

I mean, I know who I am. What is it about this scenario that sends my heart racing?

For years, I just chalked it up to being shy and introverted. That’s just the way God made me. Some people just don’t like introducing themselves in front of others, and I’m one of those people.

Instead of ignoring my feelings, or pushing them way deep down inside so I don’t have to deal with them, I’ve been practicing just letting them be. Sitting with feelings, especially the negative ones that come up, acknowledging what they are, and contemplating how they got here in the first place.

You see, for a recovering perfectionist like me, negative feelings (among other things) are the bad guy. They’re one of those pesky imperfections that have to be perfected. Wrongs that must be corrected. So anger rises up? No way. Anger’s bad, so I’ve got to suppress it. Envy or jealousy? Who wants to admit they’re jealous? Such a vile thing to feel, so not going there. Fear? What kind of a faith-filled Christian am I if I get scared? Nope, no fear here. Awkward and uncomfortable? Confidence is the right thing to feel, so time to ignore more feelings.

Feelings are a gift.

A fact I need to constantly remind myself of. My quest for “doing the right thing” left me with a false view of my feelings. I was looking to what I thought about my feelings, especially the not-so-nice ones, instead of what the One who gave me the feelings in the first place had to say about them. If I believe that God created me, then I must believe that my feelings are a part of that creation. They’re there for a reason – on purpose, and for a purpose. I’ll never know what that purpose is if all I do when negative feelings come up is shut them down, without first taking the time to figure out why they’re there in the first place.

I’ve come to understand that my feelings are a gift. They’re an important part of my fearfully and wonderfully made design. I don’t have to be afraid to acknowledge them. When I feel that awkwardness (or fear, anger, discomfort, or jealousy, or any other feeling we’ve labeled as negative) rising up within me, I don’t have to squash it because it’s “bad.” I can take that awkwardness, acknowledge that it’s welling up inside me, then hold it up before the One who originally provided me with the ability to feel this.

I’ll share about a specific time I let myself just sit with the feelings, and it happens to have taken place when I had to introduce myself in front of a group of people I didn’t really know. That will have to wait until my next post. For now…

Steal this prayer:

“Okay, Lord. Here’s this awkwardness and discomfort I feel (yet again) at the thought of having to introduce myself (or whatever other situation and the feelings that have risen up because of it). You’re not surprised by it. You’re not ashamed of me for feeling it. You know my frame, and walk alongside me on this journey towards wholeness in eternity. Give me eyes to see why I am feeling this way. I lay my awkwardness and discomfort at your feet. My imperfections are so very safe with you.”

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

Philippians 4:6 (MSG)

Becky is a Miami native, and has lived here all of her life. Married to her husband for over 20 years, they lead a very active lifestyle along with their three teenagers and Riley, their rescue dog. Becky loves to teach, and has had the awesome privilege of home educating her children for over twelve years. When not teaching academics, Becky loves to equip, encourage, and empower women through the teaching of her group fitness classes. Becky and her husband lead various ministries, and their family loves to serve the community through the countless opportunities provided over the past twenty years+ in their local church. She enjoys filling her "free" time with reading, writing, watching movies, and just spending time with the family. Becky has a passion for living her life with grit and grace, and encouraging others to do the same.