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The Burden of Better is For: Single Women


Another bridesmaid dress. Another wedding in which I’d play a supporting role—when all I wanted was the lead. How many more bouquets did I need to catch to make it my turn? What was I doing wrong? Was I emitting an “I prefer to be single” code detected only by eligible men? I feel into a constant cycle of comparing my relationship status to my friends.

Short of having a husband (aka the gateway by which all of my dreams would come true), the only thing that could bring me bouts of joy was vacation (or the thought of vacation!). So, participating in a destination wedding had some redeeming qualities. But it felt unfair. She was getting married. I remained single. Why not me, God? Will I ever get a turn? Depression with a side of bitterness filled my plate at her reception. I wasn’t a very good bridesmaid, not to mention how discontentment prevented me from savoring a great vacation.

Maybe you’ve landed in the same spot? Comparison deflates dreams and demands discontentment.

And, if you’re already feeling depressed, comparison has an incredibly effective way of making sure you stay that way.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your current relationship status to that of those around you. Maybe you’ve found yourself saying, “If I was just in a relationship, if only I was married, then things would be better. Then I’d be content.”

If you’re single and find yourself struggling with comparison, I invite you to read my new book “The Burden of Better: How a Comparison-Free Life Leads to Joy, Peace & Rest.” In encountering my journey, I hope you can come to confront comparison in your own life. We’re in this together, friend. Here’s to a comparison-free life!

Order the book here!

Learn more here!

Check out my first book, “Compared to Who?” here!

the burden of better is for single women comparing relationship status

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Used with permission by Heather Creekmore of Compared to Who? Learn more about the ministry of Compared to Who? at https://www.comparedtowho.me.

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