Love and Romance; the Song of Solomon

Love and Romance; the Song of Solomon. Falling in love is the easy part. How do we stay in love? Is that possible? Good question. Got an answer? Please put your ideas in the comment section at the end (even if you are single) so we can all benefit.

Biblical Love and Romance begin with Attraction between Opposite Sexes

When love is fresh and new, lovers share an abundance of compliments. Their words drip like honey from their mouths. They share a strong physical attraction and want to be close all the time. Gleam shines in their eyes, a dreamy look on their faces. They give gifts to one another. Butterflies twitter in their stomachs when they anticipate being together. If we ask a woman about her lover, she will talk with animation and excitement about his virtues. If we ask a man about his lover, he will point out how beautiful and caring she is. However, over time, romantic love seems to wane. How do we stay in love with our mate? We can learn from Solomon’s Song of Songs.

Solomon and his Bride; a Story of Love and Romance 

Erotic romantic love is the kind of affection that the author of the Song of Solomon describes in his dramatic lyrical poem. However, the language of the book is unfamiliar to many people because most do not live in an agricultural society of sheepherders, wheat and barley farmers, and winegrowers. Today’s Chronological Bible study will help us understand and apply the lessons of Solomon’s Song of Songs.

Solomon’s dramatic love story leads us to believe that his new wife is from Lebanon (Song of Solomon 4:8, 11, 15). She is not his first wife, for his first wife was from Egypt, and Solomon has many wives and concubines (secondary wives, 1Kings 11:1-3). She is, however, the most loved (Song of Solomon 6:8-9).

Solomon was a godly king in his early reign, but his example does not prove that God condones multiple marriages; he does not. Indeed, God warned Israelite Kings not to multiply wives. Later, God’s Son, Jesus Christ, would say that in the beginning of creation, God made one male and one female for intimacy and procreation (1Kings 11:4-14; Mark 10:6-12).

Physical Love and Romance

In their desire for physical love, King Solomon and his new bride exchange words of love between each other in quick erotic expressions, making the heart beat faster in anticipation. Because of this, many of us are uncomfortable with this love song. Why would God put such an erotic story in the Bible? Because making love within the boundaries of marriage is approved by him. The physical relationship between husband and wife in marriage is a gift from God to be cherished and enjoyed (Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 5:15-19).

King Solomon and his bride boast of the love and admiration they feel for each other. They look forward to being together and cannot bear to be apart. This is all natural. However, sometimes an over obsession with a lover can lead to suspicion and fears of losing him. She reveals her anxieties in a dream (see chapter 5).

How to Prevent Fears and Suspicions from Killing Love and Romance

Trust, continual reassurance, and careful attention to the relationship are necessary for a young marriage to succeed. This is what Solomon does after his wife’s dream. However, neglect and suspicion, unloving attitudes and actions, flirtations with the opposite sex, criticism, and selfishness are some of the little foxes which can creep into our love gardens and devour them.

To stay in love, we should express compliments, praise, and be careful that we are devoted to our spouse in all our words and actions. Men should know that women like appreciation for their beauty, character, and what they do for their household. Ladies should know that men want admiration for their strength, honor, and achievements. Whether we are newlyweds or have been married longer, we can learn from this Song that we should encourage one another with words and actions of love.

Wait on the LORD to Bring Love and Romance

Much of the Song of Solomon focuses on the erotic love between a husband and his wife. What is there for singles to do or apply? To the unmarried women (this could easily apply to single men, too) Solomon’s wife gives this advice: Do not awaken love until it so desires (Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4). In other words, do not force love. Wait on the LORD to gently bring it to pass. In the meantime, if you spend time adoring the LORD, reading his Word, the Bible, you will fall in love–with the LORD! 

Singles of whatever age or situation in life can also learn the importance of encouraging and speaking appropriate words of love to those who need to hear it (not erotic words, of course).

Leaving and Cleaving Seals our Commitment for Love and Romance 

When two people get married, they each leave their father and mother and cling to their spouse to become one flesh and form a new family unit (Genesis 2:24). In describing Solomon’s wedding with his most beloved bride (Psalm 45), this is the advice the Psalmist gives to her.

Some men and women have difficulty leaving their mother or father because they are emotionally dependent upon them. A momma’s boy or daddy’s girl could bring trouble, unhappiness, anger, and jealousy into a marriage. They each need to break these emotional ties and cling to their spouse so that they might feel free to have their own lives. They should do this and still honor their parents as God requires (Exodus 20:12)

Leaving and cleaving makes us feel loved. A woman feels more secure in the relationship, and a man feels more respected. This is essential, and this one step can lead to more romance and intimacy!  If you are married and have had conflicts about this, courageously take a step back from your parents and a step toward your spouse. Try it out and bring your relationship up to the next level. Experience what it is like to be one in body and spirit, and receive God’s pleasure.

praying hands

Sample prayer for you to finish if you wish. Dear Father in Heaven, I pray I would follow the advice in Song of Solomon to have a more loving relationship with my mate. 

Would you like to read more about love and relationships? Try these out:

What is love; 3 descriptions of love from Jesus

5 Reasons Why family matters

Used with permission from Rodney Harrier.

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