First of all, there are many black people doing the right thing and making a positive difference in their community as well as in society in general. This is wonderful to see. I thank God for it. At the same time, around the nation, violence is on the increase. In many black communities around the nation, violence, as well as other issues seem to be compounded in an ongoing way.
It is deeply troubling as I observe the crime riddling many black neighborhoods. These are black neighborhoods near and far. They are local neighborhoods and far away black neighborhoods. Who is there to blame? Is it the system’s fault? Is it systemic racism? Is the government really keeping black fathers out of the household? While there are still certain levels of injustice, generally speaking, blacks can blame no one else for the problems in the black communities.
Blacks who are involved in committing crimes have the power to change their own behavior. Blacks who create a dysfunctional home environment for their children have the power to make positive change. Those who are not raising their children correctly have the power to make positive change. Absentee fathers or mothers can change the trajectory and choose to be a positive and safe presence in their children’s lives.
I have also taken note that some black women are coming together, having public meetings and trying to cope with the violence. They are unifying to help their sons choose a better route. These gatherings are sometimes aired on the news. I say to myself, okay this is great, but where are the fathers? Where are the black fathers? Where are the fathers in all of this? Absent black fathers…that is a major problem.
Often, black women are trying to carry things themselves. Most black mothers are single black mothers. Generation after generation of black boys are born in single mother environments with Mom trying her best to teach her sons how to be a man, if she’s a good mother. It is important for her to find some kind of positive man of integrity to mentor her son, even if her son’s father will not be involved for whatever reason.
Other mothers allow the streets to raise their sons while they run around with different men, or simply focus on working. It is a shame. Many black boys continue to join gangs because they are without training, without discipline, and are looking for family and belonging. In particular, they need to connect with positive, strong, male role models. This is so important!
Well, sometimes Satan provides a counterfeit family for them and they find and join a gang. They look up to the gang leader. In the neighborhoods, drive-by shootings continue to happen, people are losing their lives over petty beefs and random bullets intended for someone else. Rappers are often being shot and killed, probably due to envy as well as the glorified mindset that many of the black youth have about gun violence.
Vulgar rap music teaches the youth how to disrespect and degrade women, cherish materialism, and measure one’s worth by their assets. This music often teaches gun violence and glorifies violence in general. Young boys and men often strut and bop around the neighborhoods with their pants hanging off their rear ends, thinking they are cool.
Some of these men have no direction in life and sort of float purposelessly from day to day. Young ladies that are misguided help them to feel affirmed in what they are doing (or not doing) by dating them and having babies with them. Some young ladies are very misguided and believe that the rap / thug image is what is desirable in a man.
Who is teaching these young black men and young black women? When parents do not teach their offspring correctly, the adversary will through other influences.
They are taught through toxic music, movies and various social media platforms, in addition to other ways.
When parents do not train and teach their offspring correctly, society will teach them and often, the police end up having to handle them.
It is not the job of police. It is not the mayor’s job or community leaders job to raise the offspring of parents. That is the parent’s job. Yes, law enforcement and community leaders do their job to address delinquents and overall community problems. But the parents should be present and do all they can to keep youth from becoming delinquent in the first place. The communities are dysfunctional because the dysfunction starts in the homes.
God help the black community and everyone else too. One thing women and girls can do is not to date, go to bed with, or marry thugs and any other kind of immature, irresponsible man who lacks integrity. Stop wrongly affirming men who lack integrity. This evil cycle has to be broken. Only women of integrity prefer men of integrity. It is important that a woman does what is right in the sight of God herself. Mothers should be teaching and setting good examples for their daughters.
It is good for girls and women to stop affirming the bad in, and offering themselves to immature men. Many of the black men are walking around lost, angry, confused, broken and donating their seed randomly. Girls and women are recipients. Plenty men are not seeking to be found. They are not seeking healing. Yet, they go around hooking up with all the women that they want, dating and even marrying some.
Many of the pastors do not even call out and rebuke the promiscuous, irresponsible, violent behavior of many black youths. Pastor should be a good example themselves. It is important for the older men to in the spirit of love rebuke bad behavior in young men. Some of the pastors will complain about the way women dress, complain about women’s hairstyles, complain about women preachers, and complain about many other things about women.
Some of these pastors are hooking up with women in the congregation or hooking up with men on the side. Plenty lord it over their congregations. Some are abusing boys and girls. But they don’t speak out much against degradation of women. They don’t talk much about and rebuke behavior of irresponsible sperm donors.
Some of the pastors focus on topics of their personal preference to speak on, instead of focusing on all issues, with major focus on the biggest, most impactful issues.
Many don’t seem to like to address any form of abuse. Some don’t talk much about the violence from black men to black women, or vice versa. They won’t really highlight contempt of women and speak out against it. Many of them are not seeking to connect with and mentor the lost youth and are not holding each other accountable either.
When it comes to mentoring lost youth, what efforts I see are often from community leaders and mothers. This is very beneficial. Yet, young black men need to witness a strong and positive loving father and husband. They need their father’s presence in the home to demonstrate to them how to be responsible, hardworking men of integrity.
• Black children need to witness the positive union between their parents. This means where their father and mother love God, love each other, are faithful to each other and raise their children in love and the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
• Black children should be able to watch their father cultivate and maintain a loving relationship with their mother and vice versa.
• Black sons should be able to admire and follow their father’s righteous example because the father is present in the home. A father shows by demonstration and through verbal instruction.
• In order to be better prepared to be leaders in the future, sons should be able to learn by watching and listening to their father.
• Ideally, they would learn that financial provision is very important, but certainly not the biggest aspect of provision. Financial provision is in addition to the right nurture, structure, instruction, love, and overall presence in their household.
Generation to generation, in many black households, this ideal healthy home environment does not exist.
Again, mothers are best equipped to teach their daughters a godly example. This is in addition to instructing and demonstrating right examples to their sons also. However, boys also need a man of integrity around to learn from as well.
When we get back to God’s way of doing things, this means the nuclear family. When families are submitted to the will of God and fulfilling their roles accordingly, this is when we will see healing in the black communities. Until then, it continues to go downhill.
“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7: 14
Used with permission from Petrina Ferguson.