God’s Gift of Merciful Ignorance – Divorce Minister

Skip to content

It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.

-Ephesians 5:12, NLT

Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God.

I am convinced this is true in my case.

The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship with the Other Man (OM) after months of denial.

As I remember it, she mentioned doing sexual things with other men from bars in that conversation. I had to specifically ask about OM to be sure he was included in that group 0f extramarital sexual partners. He was.

God has spared me much suffering by keeping hidden the rest of the details that come with that nasty revelation. I am convinced.

As I see it today–my opinion informed by what I remember of that conversation and other memories–I merely saw the tip of the cheating iceberg. Then God mercifully set me free from that destructive marriage with the knowledge the problems created by my (now) ex-wife were deep and many even if I did not know them all.

Do I sometimes wonder about those details? Of course.

But I am at peace knowing that I know enough to know the shame of my first marriage’s end is not a burden I deserve to bear.

God revealed enough for me to have peace moving forward.

And God hid the rest to protect my heart from needless additional pain. I thank God for that gift today! 

*A version of this post ran previously.

Republished with permission from

Related Blogs