A Primary Incentive Driving His Behaviors.

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If we want to encourage someone, we normally express appreciation, admiration and support for them. We express gratitude verbally and also by giving back in some way. We often verbally praise that person.

When it comes to bad behaviors, we may not necessarily verbalize agreement with how someone is acting. Yet, if we don’t verbalize disagreement, and if we go along with them or stand by them, this is indication of agreement and acceptance.

Both men and women have put up with too much bad behavior. There are some differences in that fortunately, lots of men don’t seem to be as tolerant to being mistreated in their relationships the way so many women have been.

Generally speaking, men have not been harassed about being single the way women have. The pressure on some women has caused them to settle for less and to reward their boyfriend’s bad behaviors by putting up with them.

Here are four common bad behaviors many women have rewarded:


A woman is (most likely unwittingly) agreeing with his cheating when she keeps or takes back a boyfriend she knows has cheated.


All of these types of abuse are being encouraged when a woman (or man) stays to endure: verbal put downs/ insults, as well as physical and sexual abuse.

I am not by any means saying the abused victim is condoning abuse by staying, or that it is their fault. Reasons for staying are often very complicated. Victims often unwittingly encourage mistreatment when they stay.

It is not abused people’s fault they are being abused. It does not mean that they are condoning their own abuse. I do not believe they are intentionally encouraging it. Within context, the point is that when people don’t have to deal with consequences for their bad behaviors, this provides no incentive for them to change for the better.


Some women want a man in their life so badly, they will take a man under their wings, house him and basically support him financially. The man I describe is with the woman for a place to live.

This type of man is described as a hobo sexual. He finds a woman who is lonely and desperate for a man and moves in with her as he poses as her boyfriend.

This is common, as it is very easy for men like this to find women who will take them in. I personally know of some of these situations. Even when the man is mean, the woman keeps him around, in some cases. It seems like she’s not getting much out of the “relationship” other than being able to claim she has a man.


There are folks out there who see women primarily as sexual objects. They often acknowledge women’s existences in the context of women being potential or actual sex partners.

This applies to some singles and some people who are married or in a relationship. Unfortunately, many who don’t value women as whole human beings made in the image of God sexually objectify them. That’s mainly what some want women around for.

These types typically can find almost any woman they want to take to bed with them. Some men struggle even getting occasional dates. Contrarily, players are charming and charismatic. They often give off bad-boy vibes that plenty women find irresistible.

A woman’s reward to a man is a big incentive for him to continue in what he is doing.

My point, as always, is the fact that women are enablers, reinforcers, sustainers and co-signers. There are a variety of things that women are enabling, reinforcing, sustaining, and co-signing. Some of the things are good and some are bad.

As women, we are heavily influential. So we might as well enable and influence others in the right way. Right? I will not tell ladies how to live their lives, but I will share with them. I am here to encourage all who desire and need encouragement. My aim is to encourage women in the right direction.

It would be a game changer if the majority of women put God first, complied with His commandments, respected themselves and were intolerant to men who do not value women.

Women going along with all the nonsense will not only keep us from going forward, but it results in further regression. A woman’s decisions affect not only her, but those close to her, including her own children.

A woman’s influence affects society overall. It is profoundly important for women to influence others, correctly, including the men in their lives.

Helpful Bible verses:

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7: 12

It is positive influence when girls and women apply the Golden Rule to their lives in how they treat others. It is positive influence for girls and women in relationships to be intolerant to mistreatment from men.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31: 30

It is very important to remember that inner beauty found in one’s character is the most important thing.

Used with permission from Petrina Ferguson.

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