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    God-sized Cheater Problem – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading "God-sized Cheater Problem"

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    Divorce needs to be a real option! – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading "Divorce needs to be a real option!"

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    Practical Minimization: Focusing on Faithful Spouse “Faults” – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading "Practical Minimization: Focusing on Faithful Spouse “Faults”"

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    NOT “Friends” with Ex and That is Fine – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading "NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine"

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    DM, How do I get past this? – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    Hello, Do you have any teachings on when the ex spouse who cheated marries the affair partner and then they start going to church and never repented or tried making amends to the spouse and children left behind. I’m struggling immensely trying to process how the ex and affair partner all the friends and the … Continue reading "DM, How do I get past this?"

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    “That’s not a friend.” – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    “That’s not a friend,” says Father Terry. My divorce was fresh. Maybe I was still in the separation period. I am not sure. What I remember is talking with a colleague and mentor, Father Terry, who shared some simply but profound wisdom. After telling him about a “friend” who had essentially called me a deadbeat … Continue reading "“That’s not a friend.”"

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    Building a Sand Castle with the Incoming Tide – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    Infidelity is like the incoming tide to your sand castle marriage. It obliterates all the hard work done to create a beautiful relationship. It undermines everything. Then it washes it all away like it was never there. Such is marital infidelity. Whether the sand castle was already falling down or whether it was a “Taj … Continue reading "Building a sand castle with the incoming tide"

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    Let Them Be Wrong and Invest Elsewhere – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a less than supportive community of people. Sometimes, even confessing Christians will not accept what … Continue reading "Let them be wrong and invest elsewhere"

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    Cheater-Speak: “Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you!” – Divorce Minister

    David Derksen,

    “Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading "Cheater-Speak: “Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you!”"

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