10 Glaring Signs Your Husband Is Manipulating You - Olubunmi Mabel

If you feel like you’re being manipulated in a situation, it’s very likely that you are.

But let us not get ahead of ourselves because this may not always be the case.

You may be misinterpreting things and need a better perspective.

You don’t want to conclude that you’re being manipulated or accuse your husband of manipulating you and end up being wrong.

But in the same vein, you also don’t want to be blinded, especially as it may be difficult to tell when it’s coming from someone you love and trust, like your husband.

That is why you need to know what the signs are.

This will help you confirm or refute your suspicions and take the next step.

So, let us get into the signs you’ll see that indicate that your husband is manipulating you.

10 Glaring Signs Your Husband Is Manipulating You 

1. He lies and gaslights you

Whether he’s lying about things he did or against you, they’re all signs of manipulation.

Lying simply means intentionally omitting or changing details and events for selfish reasons.

Manipulative husbands do it a lot; they tell outright lies and act like it’s normal.

Perhaps your husband keeps lying, denying the things he did, or accusing you of things you didn’t do when you know the details well – that is gaslighting, and it is a form of manipulation.

Or maybe he conveniently forgets discussions, events, agreements, and plans, having selective memory intentionally.

He probably makes you doubt your perception, memory, and even sanity because of his bald-faced lies.

Changing stories, making up details randomly, diffusing blame, and making himself the victim even when he’s not.

Girl, there’s no two ways to say it: you’re being manipulated.

A man who tries to gaslight you or alter situations in his favor is manipulative.

He may also falsely accuse you of things you didn’t do, undermine your credibility, and make light of your feelings and emotions.

2. Emotional blackmail

Emotional blackmail is another potent tool in the hands of a manipulative husband.

Does he constantly try to use mind games and guilt-tripping to get you to do stuff?

Or does he make you feel responsible for his sanity and well-being and make you feel like a horrible person every time he doesn’t feel good?

Those are signs of a manipulator.

Your husband has a compelling, persuasive power; and I don’t mean that as a compliment.

3. You’re always the problem

I remember a clip from a movie series I watched over the weekend.

In it, a man gave his wife a present and said, “This gift is to make you feel better. So you don’t feel bad about making me hit you.”

I paused the move for a minute in shock.

I replayed that part several times and still couldn’t believe the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Can I digress first to say that if your husband abuses or threatens to abuse you, whether physically, emotionally, or in any way else, you don’t need any other signs?

You’re one hundred percent being manipulated!

Back to the crux of the matter – Blame-Shifting.

A husband who always blames his wife is most likely manipulative.

Every time there’s an issue, you’re somehow at fault.

Even when the problem is clearly his fault, he refuses to take responsibility for his actions.

4. He is using you

A healthy marriage requires a lot of sacrifice, compromise, and showing up for each other even when it’s not convenient.

But the sacrifice should never be forced or demanded.

If your husband keeps making you do stuff you don’t want to do or only comes to you when he needs something, he’s exploiting you.

This can happen in many ways; he can be using you physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, and in every way you can think of.

He’s only there when he needs those things.

If he’s using you, he’s manipulating you.

It’s that simple.

5. Unending harsh criticisms

Healthy feedback and correction can happen in marriage from both parties.

But never harsh scolding and criticism.

Your husband shouldn’t be chiding you like you’re his slave, and neither should he be constantly criticizing your choices, words, and actions.

You shouldn’t be made to feel less or unworthy by him.

If he’s doing any of these, he’s a manipulator.

Judging everything you do, speaking to you in derogatory tones and languages, and dismissing and belittling you all count as manipulation.

6. Transactional love

A manipulative husband does not have “unconditional love” in his dictionary.

For him, there’s always a condition.

If he’s showing love and a notable level of affection, you know he wants something.

It’s never for nothing.

It’s either because he wants something from you or because he’s gotten it from you.

He may try to use excessive flattery or allure to cajole you into doing what he wants.

You’re constantly on a journey to earn his love and approval.

7. He tries to isolate you

This is not only a bad sign, it’s also a dangerous one.

Manipulative husbands try to detach their wives from their other relationships, and not for a good reason.

He wants to keep you away from everyone, like your community, friends, and family so that he can keep you dependent on him.

This will also make you less likely to seek help or gain perspective from others about the toxic situation you’re in.

8. He controls you

A manipulative husband is a controlling husband.

It’s still control and manipulation, whether he’s doing it glaringly or subtly.

He could be subtly influencing your decisions and making you bend against your will.

Or he may be controlling you boldly, monitoring your communication and relationships, and checking your phone, messages, or email without your permission, all in a bid to maintain power and control over you.

He could also be using money to control you, making you beg him for it and giving you limited access.

Some men stop their wives from getting jobs and being financially independent because they want them to be helpless and reliant on them.

9. Unexplainable behavior

If he always has unpredictable mood swings and confusing behavior, it’s either that he has a health condition or he’s a manipulator.

It is not normal to suddenly go from angry and mean to caring and loving or from love bombing to silent treatment in the space of minutes or hours.

You find yourself constantly checking his mood and demeanor before approaching him.

You have to walk on eggshells to avoid getting on his nerves.

That’s not normal behavior; it’s a sign that he’s a narcissist and doesn’t care about your feelings.

10. He’s the king of entitlement

Something is wrong if your husband always wants you to prioritize him and his needs or acts entitled to your attention, resources, and time.

It’s not wrong for him to want your time, devotion, affection, and even resources; he’s your husband.

All that you both have should be lovingly shared without anybody feeling robbed.

But when one person begins to act entitled to the other’s personal time, attention, or possessions, the dynamic becomes unhealthy.

If he always wants his needs and desires to come before yours, chances are very high that he’s a manipulator.

You will be able to tell because it won’t be a balanced situation with healthy sharing and love.

The signs will all show that he’s a controller trying to exploit you.

When you see the signs, don’t deny them just because you love or are married to him.

Trust your instincts, and seek support if you feel manipulated by your husband.

If you need to speak with someone wise or even a professional counselor to help you confirm that you’re being manipulated, please do that.

Then, address this issue as soon as you can.

I have to mention that you shouldn’t cancel your husband if he’s done any of these things once and never done them again.

If it was a one-time thing, it’s probably not manipulation.

Manipulation is a pattern of behavior, and it’s rarely just a one-time occurrence.