12 Signs Of An Emotionally Broken Woman - Olubunmi Mabel
Emotions!
They are part of what makes us humans; however, when they are trifled with, a person could easily lose it.
Emotional brokenness is a mental and emotional state of deep-seated trauma after a significantly impacting event or string of events, e.g., heartbreak, loss, rape, disappointment, etc.
Women experience emotional brokenness, and this is a more common phenomenon than we think.
Identifying the signs can help us recognize that in our loved ones, support them, and encourage them to get help.
Please read on.
1. Her mood becomes erratic
One very common sign of an emotionally broken woman is her erratic weather-like mood.
One minute, she is happy; the next, she is crying or sad.
Her mood swings may be so fast that you are wondering what you did.
As a teenager, I struggled with emotional brokenness, and the result was that some days, I was happy and jolly, but all of a sudden, I’d start crying uncontrollably.
I can’t count how many times I was taken to the Principal’s office for questioning, but the questions only made me sob harder.
My emotions were a mess!
A woman who is emotionally broken won’t be able to put herself together, and she can’t mask it because when she crumbles under the weight of the emotions, her emotional response will be out of this world.
Think of a car that is out of control while at full speed – wild!
While in my case, the switch between happiness and sadness was expressed through tears, some women may suddenly become very angry when the switch happens.
2. She becomes very clumsy
It is interesting how our emotions balance us and help us live wholesome lives.
When a woman is emotionally broken, she may become very clumsy in her activities.
She is not intentionally dropping the ball, but what gives her life balance is off.
She will be forgetful and lose her grip on many things.
I have seen people who are dealing with grief manifest this at different levels.
Some start to act inept at their jobs and make a trail of ridiculous mistakes because of an imbalance in their emotions.
3. She falls apart easily
I was dealing with so much as a wife and mother, and the demands on my business wearied me, coupled with the fact that I was sleep-deprived.
It was stressful, but I had reached my tipping point that day.
I dropped off my daughter at school, returned home to finish my chores, and then cooked a pot of stew.
The plan was to rush off the bank to sort out some glitches in my transactions and then return to attend to my business.
I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten the soup on fire at the bank, and the queue there made my heart sink.
When I tried to speak to the officials about the challenge, they weren’t helpful … I was so frustrated!
I couldn’t help it; I started crying in the banking hall.
It was appalling, but I couldn’t help the waterworks.
Thankfully, the bank manager waded in, and the issue was sorted out in minutes, but I was so embarrassed!
An emotionally broken woman would fall apart easily.
She is like a volcano waiting to erupt, so at the slightest trigger, she would burst!
Other examples are women who lash out at others at the slightest chance online.
I have come to understand that many are emotionally broken and get easily triggered, hence their hateful or spiteful comments.
4. She is depressed
Depression is a terrible emotional state to be in, but women who are emotionally broken often experience depression.
They lose the zest for life and generally stop being excited about life.
The light in her eyes becomes dim, and she just can’t seem to find fun in anything.
This is a really terrible phase to go through.
I mean I should know because I have been there.
I wallowed in depression for months at a stretch, and during that period, I felt a myriad of emotions.
I was so down that I couldn’t bring myself to do anything even though I was so unhappy about my inactivity, and at some point, it began to seem like I hated myself.
When a woman is emotionally broken, she experiences so many negative emotions arising from traumatic events of the past.
5. She speaks negatively about herself
I have come to believe that anyone who speaks about themselves negatively is going through their own issues.
I used to do the same thing.
I would sometimes say things like, “I am so stupid” or “I hate myself.”
The saddest thing about this was that I actually believed the negative things I said to myself.
I convinced myself that I was just being realistic, but the truth was that I felt inadequate.
Over the years, I had faced several traumatic events that fostered that feeling of inadequacy in me.
I felt that people also saw me through that lens.
So, I decided to say the negative things that are so obvious about me before they say the obvious.
I figured it would be less painful if it were coming from me.
Emotionally broken women usually exhibit this tendency to speak negatively about themselves.
The self-blame and guilt that are so evident in their words mold their perception of reality.
So, whenever things go wrong around them, you shouldn’t be surprised if they start blaming themselves for them, even when they have nothing to do with it.
Their negative perception of themselves usually keeps them relentlessly pursuing perfection.
Perfection is impossible and the earlier you learn this, the better.
6. She stops caring for herself
I mentioned the time I was depressed, right?
Well, one thing I didn’t tell y’all was that I totally abandoned self-care.
How could I take care of myself when my mind was so occupied by a whirlwind of negative emotions and thoughts?
I would stay for days without taking my bath or brushing my teeth.
People had to force me to eat because I didn’t have the appetite for food.
This tendency to stop every form of self-care is a sign of emotional brokenness in a woman.
When a woman is emotionally broken, she may practice really poor hygiene, taking occasional baths and living in a perpetually dirty environment.
You may also notice that she experiences extreme weight loss because she eats less frequently.
Conversely, she may binge on snacks and junk a lot.
Instead of losing weight, she may be experiencing erratic weight gain.
Generally, she really just seems like a shadow of herself.
When a woman is emotionally broken, it actually feels like one part of her is gone.
And that part of her that is gone is usually the part that cares about her appearance.
The part that feels life is worth living to the fullest.
7. She isolates herself from people
A typical response to emotional brokenness is isolation.
Withdrawal from people that can hurt you in the same way or even worse ways.
Withdrawal because you can’t imagine that anyone wants to be around you.
When I went through a phase of emotional trauma, I also isolated myself from people.
I stayed away from people because I couldn’t imagine that anyone wanted much to do with me.
So, rather than inflict my presence on people, I remained isolated and depressed.
The prospect of interacting with people, even my friends, felt overwhelming.
I found solace in solitude.
Isolation was my way of protecting myself from the world.
Similarly, isolation is the way an emotionally broken woman shields herself from the world.
She builds massive walls and hides behind them.
8. Her eyes reveal her pain
“The eyes are the windows of the soul.”
This bible verse is the total truth.
In my years of life, I have come to understand that even when the mouth lies, the eyes never lie.
I have learned to look into people’s eyes and search for the truth they may not be speaking.
When a woman is emotionally broken, she tries her best to live her life like everything is still normal.
She pretends that she is okay because what else can she do?
Nobody really cares: at least, that’s what she thinks.
The default answer when you ask, “How are you?” is usually fine, but if you look closely into people’s eyes, you can determine when the answer doesn’t represent their situation.
When a woman is emotionally broken, very few things in life can make her smile.
So, one way to know that something is wrong is to notice that she no longer smiles.
Her eyes reveal her pain whenever people discuss issues that are loosely or closely related to what she went through.
The memories just keep rushing back, and with them, the pain is as strong as ever before.
When you see a woman with sad eyes, those eyes speak of untold pain, heartbreak, and loss.
9. She acts out of character in negative ways
People deal with trauma differently.
When a woman undergoes emotional trauma, it alters her in so many ways.
The most common manifestation of these changes is that she starts doing things she wouldn’t normally do.
While my response was to isolate myself and binge on social media, watching comedy skits that didn’t make me laugh, others may respond by involving themselves in wild activities.
An emotionally broken woman may smoke, drink, take drugs, and attend wild parties as a way to dull the pain.
10. She is overly needy
One thing that is readily noticeable in emotionally broken women is their tendency to overcompensate in relationships.
This tendency is usually a product of how needy she is.
She needs affection and can look for it even in the wrongest places.
I am sure you may know someone like this, someone who just seems to have issues with being alone.
She can’t love herself, so she needs someone to do the loving for her.
She may display a tendency to jump from relationship to relationship even after experiencing countless heartbreaks.
Her heart yearns for love, but she is so broken that she doesn’t realize that she can only be loved as much as she loves herself.
11. She becomes paranoid
The feeling that everyone is out to get you… that paranoia that makes you suspicious whenever someone tries to come close to you.
That’s a sign of emotional brokenness.
An emotionally broken woman is usually that way because she has lived a hard life.
She has experienced the terrible side of human nature so much that it is literally impossible for her to ascribe good intentions to anybody.
So, if you notice that no matter how innocent your intentions are, she keeps being suspicious of you, it is a sign that she is emotionally broken and has forgotten what it feels like to have someone she can trust around her.
12. She is cynical
I have always maintained that cynicism is a product of negative experiences and bitterness.
I spoke to a woman who sounded cynical about men.
She would say things like, “men are pretenders”, and “there is no man that doesn’t cheat”.
After talking to her, I realized that she had experienced betrayal from men throughout her life.
Her father left her mother to be with another woman.
Her husband cheated on her, and they got divorced.
She hadn’t experienced much good from menfolk in her life.
Whenever you notice cynicism in a woman, it is usually a sign of emotional brokenness.
There is this reluctance to trust and believe that people can be good because they have seen many negative things.
Recognizing the signs is the first step to helping emotionally broken women.
You need to realize that they are not just being unnecessarily difficult.
They have endured many terrible things, and while it may seem difficult, the only solution is to love them.
How do you love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?
By still loving them.
You could also persuade them to seek professional help.
Therapy could be a great way of helping them realize there is still some good in this world.
Even with these, it will take a while.
So, patience is key: even the deepest wounds can be healed with love and patience.
