12 Subtle Signs A Married Man Wants To Sleep With You - Olubunmi Mabel
More and more, the stories of infidelity rocking the airwaves in recent times are more shocking, maybe because of how commonplace it has become.
This is not also to say that there are no cheating-free and happy marriages out there; perhaps the problem is that they don’t get as much popularity.
Anyway, that is not our focus today.
We know that sex is a vital ingredient for intimacy in marriage, and a married man shouldn’t be seeking to have it outside of his union.
While there are some faithful men who will never cheat on their women, there are some goats who will always step out on their wives, no matter how pretty or good she is.
The truth is that some married men are audacious cheats, while some are more stylish in their approach.
While some will come out clearly to tell you what they want, others may subtly lure you into their bed.
Let’s see some subtle signs a married man wants to sleep with you and what you can do about it.
1. He finds excuses to spend time alone with you.
While I’m not saying that a married man can’t have female friends or be alone with them, if he is constantly finding excuses to be alone with you, he might have some ulterior motives.
He might act extremely fond of you and as if he can’t handle being apart from you.
May I point out that this in itself is a problem already?
It’s worse if you work together or have to mandatorily be together for some reason.
He might use work or business meetings as an excuse to get you alone.
He may also try to manipulate situations, such as asking you to pick something up from his house when no one else is there.
I once found myself in such a sticky situation as a teenager when our married neighbor upstairs asked my parents for permission for me to help them with something.
Unknown to me, his wife was away, and he had been planning this all along; he tried to persuade me to have sex with him, but I assured him I was going to scream for everyone to hear.
He was scared of being caught, so he let me go.
This was someone who had built fidelity with my parents and was my dad’s friend, yet he had an eye for me.
This is just to say that it always starts with excessive closeness before predators strike.
Nigerians like to say in pidgin, “Na from clap dance dey start,” meaning (Dancing starts from clapping).
2. He compliments you excessively.
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you are banned from giving compliments to others.
And some men are just naturally flirty and complimentary, but if his compliments start getting more personal and even sexual in nature, watch it.
If he constantly tells you how attractive or sexy you are and makes sly comments about your physical appearance, he may be trying to build sexual tension between the two of you.
God help you if you love sweet words because the more he compliments you, the harder it will be to resist him.
3. He is overly touchy-feely.
We all have that one friend who’s a hugger or someone who touches our arms while talking.
But if a married man constantly finds ways to touch you, whether hugging, playful punches on the arm, or brushing against you, it could be a sign that he’s interested in more than friendship.
Especially if you feel the touches are inappropriate or he only touches you that way in secret.
Sis, there is trouble brewing!
4. He constantly talks about his sex life.
Why should a married man be talking about his sex life with you?
What’s your business with his sex life?
He might be bragging about how great it is or complaining about how unsatisfied he is.
No matter what, he shouldn’t be discussing such personal matters with anyone who isn’t his partner.
If he always plays the victim card or acts as if you are his sex therapist, beware because the clouds are already gathering, and rain is sure to come soon.
Having groomed your mind with sexual images powered by words, soon enough, he will try to get down with you.
5. He’s overly curious about your relationship status.
A man who only sees you as a friend or colleague wouldn’t be too interested in your relationship status.
Well, he could ask out of general concern or just being a good friend, but if his questions always seem to lead back to whether you’re single or not, he might be hoping for a chance with you.
He may also ask you probing questions about your dating life and preferences.
If he is always commenting about the guys around you while also vying for your attention, it is safe to say that he feels threatened by them because he wants you.
Some married men role-play as big brothers in this context while their sole aim is to get into your pants.
Like Nigerians on the street will say, “Shine ya eyes,” meaning (Be careful).
6. He makes inappropriate jokes or comments.
No adult can claim not to understand an inappropriate joke or comment.
We’ve all had a chuckle at something a tad risqué, but there’s a world of difference between a one-off and a pattern of can’t-help-but-cringe comments.
If a married man consistently drops comments that make your eyebrows hit your hairline, especially when you’re alone, it’s not just bad comedy.
It’s a deliberate move to test boundaries and see how much he can get away with.
7. He suddenly becomes interested in your hobbies and interests.
Sure, people can develop new interests and hobbies at any stage in life, but if a married man suddenly starts showing interest in things you like, it could be a sign that he’s trying to find common ground with you.
This is especially true if the married man in question has shown by his actions or words that he likes you.
He may be using this as a way to spend more time alone with you and get you to open up to him.
8. He pays excessive attention to his appearance when he knows he’ll see you.
Most men don’t care much about their appearance when hanging out with their male friends or colleagues.
A married man who wants to get you in bed with you and knows he’ll be meeting you will suddenly start dressing better, paying more attention to his grooming, and smelling like he just walked out of a cologne commercial.
It’s not a coincidence, dear.
He may be trying to impress you and make himself more desirable in your eyes.
9. He constantly brings up the topic of sex in conversations.
Guys who just wanna sleep with you will make sure you don’t forget what they want.
They’ll turn any conversation into an opportunity to talk about sex and gauge your reactions.
That’s why a married man who wants to sleep with you will find ways to bring up the topic in conversations, whether it’s through jokes, innuendos, or simply steering the conversation toward sexual topics.
He may also try to gauge your interest level by casually asking about your views on cheating or open relationships.
10. He gets jealous easily when you talk about other men.
Jealousy is a clear sign that someone has feelings for you, and a married man who wants to sleep with you will definitely feel jealous when he hears about other men in your life.
He may try to mask his jealousy as concern or curiosity, but pay attention to how he reacts when you mention spending time with other guys.
You may find him bad-mouthing every guy who comes around you.
The issue isn’t that the guys around are necessarily bad; he’s just jealous and wants to keep you for himself.
11. Excessive communication.
Isn’t it lovely when someone texts or calls you just to see how your day is going?
Sure, it feels nice to be thought of, but there’s a fine line between caring and crowding.
If a married man is messaging you more than your BFF, you should be suspicious.
I’m talking about morning texts, “How’s your day?” check-ins, continuous DMs on social media, and those late-night, just-before-bed calls that seem to stretch on forever.
It’s not just friendly banter, sis; it’s a strategy to keep himself on your mind.
Yes, attention can be flattering, but too much attention, especially from someone who’s already taken, is a recipe for disaster.
12. He tries to create secret inside jokes or memories with you.
There’s nothing like those hilarious inside jokes that you share with someone.
They bond with you and make you feel like you’re part of an exclusive club.
But when a married man starts building this secret little world with you, color it suspicious.
When he goes out of his way to create memories with you instead of his wife, then something is wrong.
While it may seem flattering to have him book an all-expense trip to Maldives for you or sponsor an expensive birthday bash for you, you need to wake up to the obvious signs.
His Greek gifts are paving pathways in your heart for him; soon enough, he’ll have you cornered and perhaps in his bed.
Whether he is a neighbor, colleague, boss, or someone you just met, the fact that he is married makes this all shades of wrong.
Thankfully, you now know the signs to look out for; weigh your actions vis a viz your personal values.
Draw clear boundary lines in your relationship with him.
Stop talking to him about personal things or allowing him to fill your ears with personal gist.
Don’t encourage clandestine meetings with him or collect gifts from him.
Tell him flat out that you are not interested.
Finally, guard your heart diligently.
