12 Things Your Wife Wishes You'd Do More Often - Olubunmi Mabel

I don’t think it’ll be out of place for me to say that you’re doing amazing as a husband.

How do I know that?

I may not know much about your marriage, but the fact that you’re reading this article is a sign that you’re doing well.

You’re getting something right by recognizing the fact that there are things your wife wishes you’d do more often.

Most times, couples can figure out what they want from each other by talking to each other more.

But sometimes, no matter how great your communication is in the marriage, there are a few things your wife may not verbally communicate.

Still, she secretly desires that you practice regularly.

I’m here to let it all out, so keep on reading.

12 Things Your Wife Wishes You’d Do More Often

1. Give genuine compliments

Before you conclude that you’re perfect at this, hear me out.

Your wife wishes you’d compliment her more often, and I don’t mean the random “You look beautiful” you tell her every three business days.

I’m referring to a constant genuine and heartfelt acknowledgment of her uniqueness.

Notice her, praise her, and blow her trumpet.

Does she have a new hairstyle on?

Gas her up.

Does she have new nail polish?

Notice it and talk about it.

Apart from physical features, take notice of her inner qualities too.

Praise your wife’s intelligence and creativity.

If you’ve been doing that already, trust me, you should do it more.

2. Remember the little things

Your wife wishes you’d remember details more, trust me.

You know that thing you do where you can’t for the life of you get yourself to remember the little things your wife tells you?

Yeah, you should work on that.

If you’ve ever remembered a tiny detail your wife mentioned to you and brought it up to her, you must have seen the happiness on her face.

Even if you didn’t, I bet she was impressed inwardly.

This is something she wishes you’d do more often: remember little details about her life, interests, days, concerns, your relationship, etc.

When she mentions that picnic she told you about, don’t look lost and expect her to tell you the modalities all over again.

Tell her you remember and give her details.

As insignificant as that seems, it’ll show her that you care and are committed to making things work.

This doesn’t mean you have to remember every detail, even the irrelevant ones, especially if that’s not your strength.

But for most of them, you can try.

Plus, you don’t have to do it all yourself; we now have the technology: scribble it somewhere on your phone’s notepad and just search it out when it’s needed.

Put in some effort to remember.

You’re welcome!

3. Smack her butt

I’m sure you don’t feel great because she doesn’t too.

What happened to those playful teasing and bodily contact you used to make with her when you’re close to her?

What happened to playfully smacking her butt?

I once saw a reel on Instagram where a woman shared some random things she loved her husband doing and smacking her butt at home was one of them.

And interestingly, the comments were filled with women confessing how disappointed they are when their husbands walk past them at home and don’t playfully smack their butt.

I’m giving you this information for free; be playful with your wife and have fun, she wants that.

Tickle fights, light-hearted interactions, and butt-smacking (when you don’t have little kids around).

4. Take a shower

This one is not for everyone.

It’s for the husbands who could do with a little more hygiene.

I’m sorry, but someone had to say it.

And since your wife can’t but secretly wishes it, or she’s said it already, but you didn’t listen, I’m taking it upon myself to tell you in plain terms: Your wife wishes you’d cultivate more hygienic practices.

And just in case yours isn’t showering, you know those areas that could use some improvement.

Closing the toilet seat, cleaning the kitchen after you cook, folding the towels right, and so on.

Don’t make it a once-in-a-blue moon happening.

5. Talk highly of her in front of third parties

A little bird told me that your wife loves it when you say cool, nice, and honorable stuff about her to other people, especially when she’s there.

And that little bird does not lie.

Your wife appreciates you venerating her, but she loves it on another level when you do it before people.

It just shows how much you rate her and this sends a strong message to third parties that your wife is not to be joked with.

Do it when you’re with friends, family, in-laws, colleagues, mutual friends, or even random acquaintances.

Chip in those “My wife said,” “My wife is amazing at XYZ,” “I love my wife’s …” etc.

She loves it.

6. Deep conversations

Talking is easy and doesn’t require any effort sometimes, but that’s not the case with communication.

Communication and deep conversations sometimes require effort and intentionality.

But they produce good fruits.

Listening to your wife, being engaged in what she’s saying, and sharing your heart in return is something your wife wants more of.

Those intimate and meaningful deep conversations that go beyond the surface-level daily talk are precious.

Don’t make them a rare occurrence in your marriage.

Be willing to initiate them and respond when she does.

There are also times when what she wants is just a listening ear.

She wants you to listen attentively to her without interrupting or trying to solve the problem.

Sometimes she just needs to vent.

7. Help her in the kitchen

I know there are men who cook because my husband is one of them.

He does an excellent job at it and it makes me love him more.

But I’m also aware that many men wash their hands off kitchen duties the moment they get married.

Once in a while, they go into the kitchen to offer support to their wives or throw in a meal or two, but that’s it, they don’t do it until another three months.

Don’t be that husband.

Cook for your wife more, and support her when she’s cooking too.

8. Spontaneous surprises

What happened to those cute surprises that used to make you both warm, fuzzy, and happy when you were dating and in the early years of your marriage?

They’re not reserved just for dating couples you know.

Even in marriage, you can plan beautiful and spontaneous surprises for your wife and blow her mind.

Surprise vacations, weekend getaways, presents, dinner dates, hangouts, movie nights, and more.

You don’t need a reason for it; do it just to keep the spark alive.

9. Random acts of kindness and romance

Your wife loves those unplanned moments of sweet affection and kindness that you show her.

You know those subtle things that happen spontaneously and show that you value and cherish her?

Do them more.

Subtly looking out for her as she does her daily activities, bringing her breakfast in bed, getting her a period care package when it’s that time of the month, pulling her into your arms at random moments, and giving her a kiss, peck, or just to whisper in her ears how beautiful she is.

Do unexpected chores or tasks without being asked, like doing the dishes or folding laundry.

Leave sweet, handwritten notes in unexpected places, like her purse or the bathroom mirror for her.

The ideas are limitless!

10. Cuddle sessions

In some marriages, once the man initiates or welcomes a cuddle session, sex is inevitable.

It’s almost like a scratch my back, I scratch your back  situation (a transaction), where the man gives cuddles expecting sex in return.

Don’t be that guy.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is great especially when you both know how to please, prioritize, and satisfy each other in bed.

However, there are times when you should just let it remain cuddling.

Sometimes, your wife just wants to have cuddle time where you just draw her into your arms, and smother her with pecks, back rubs, and sweet words without any expectations, just for the closeness.

11. Be interested in her interests

Don’t act like your wife’s business is not yours because it is.

You may not love or be interested in everything she does but put some effort into showing interest in it.

Pay attention to the things she does and understand them.

Sometimes, join her in doing them too, even if they’re not your usual thing.

Your wife wants to feel seen by you, and this is one way to achieve that.

Another way to achieve that is by being understanding and empathetic towards her.

When she’s going through stuff, be there to offer comfort and support, that’s your job.

12. PDAs

Don’t we all love public displays of affection?

Well, we may not all do but most women do.

If your wife is one of those women who loves PDAs, then don’t starve her of them.

Make it a constant practice to hold her hand, hug, kiss, or make intentional affectionate body contact in public to show her that you love her.

Showing affection openly is one thing your wife wants you to do more often.

Doing these things will not only make her happy, it’ll also create more happiness in your marriage.

Maybe she has mentioned one or more of these things to you before, or given bodily clues that you missed.

Or maybe she’s not even hinted at it before but keeps it locked up in her heart, wishing and hoping that you’d somehow get the memo.

Now you know better; there’s no excuse anymore.