6 Selfish Reasons Men Pretend To Love A Woman - Olubunmi Mabel

“I can turn you into poetry, but I can’t make you love me”–Anonymous

The height of maturity is realizing that you can’t force someone to fall in love with you.

In the same way, you can’t force yourself to love someone.

What’s not there just isn’t there.

It’s really that simple.

On the other end of the maturity spectrum, we have those people who pretend to love someone.

Why would anyone do this?

I am sure that’s the question on your mind.

You may be tempted to think some of the reasons are noble.

However, when you look deeply at the reasons, you will realize they are all selfish.

We will be exploring the various reasons men pretend to love a woman in this article.

If you have been wondering about this too, let’s get the answers together.

1. They are insecure

This is one of the most common reasons men pretend to love a woman.

They do it because they are insecure.

While many men may tell you that the reason they pretend to love a woman is because they don’t want to hurt her, the actual fact is that they also can’t afford to lose the woman even though they don’t love her.

I know you think it is weird, but be patient and walk with me.

Some men attach a whole lot of importance to being attractive to women.

Their ability to make a woman love them is what defines their sense of self-worth.

So, when this kind of man is involved with a woman he doesn’t love, he pretends to love her because having her around makes him feel so important.

He realizes that telling the lady he doesn’t love her will most likely rid him of the validation he gets from her.

An insecure man will do anything to keep someone who boosts his sense of self-worth in his life.

This may also stem from a fear of being alone.

Really, when a man either pretends to love a woman or cannot let go of a woman who doesn’t love him, this is the major reason.

2. He wants to be in control

Relationship dynamics can be really crazy.

While viewing relationships as power plays is not ideal, many men think this way.

So, for them, it is all about being in control.

Hence, they would rather pretend to love someone who loves them than be in a relationship with a woman they love.

Pretending to love a woman who loves him may be a tactic to gain an upper hand in the relationship and give him the advantage to manipulate the woman or gain something from her.

It is usually an attempt to get emotional advantage, but whenever men pretend to love a woman, it is a sign that he has ulterior motives.

It is a toxic relationship, and if you are in such a relationship, it is only right that you get right out of that relationship.

3. He loves her finances and social standing

Well, if a man is pretending to love a woman, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love something about her.

It just means he doesn’t love her.

However, he could love her financial status and social standing.

By pretending to love her, he aims to gain something from her, either financially or socially.

Men usually complain about many ladies being gold diggers, but the reality is that gold-digging is not limited to any gender.

When a man pretends to love a woman, it could be a sign that he is a gold digger, especially if the woman is extremely successful and wealthy.

It could also be a result of her social standing.

If she has a high standing in society, a man may pretend to love her because he wants to benefit from her connections.

You get to see this a lot among celebrities.

There are some relationships that the public just considers publicity stunts because the couples are so unlikely.

4. He is a playboy

Growing up, I knew several guys like this.

They lived for the thrill of having as many women as possible fall for them.

They would usually have several girlfriends yet they had this peculiar ability of making each of these girls feel special.

They were very gifted in acting.

I remember this guy that had five girlfriends at once.

How he juggled them successfully for so long will forever be a mystery to me.

This kind of guy is a gifted pretender, and he starts dating you from the start with false intentions.

You think he loves you but really he is only there to add you to the tallies of the ladies he has conquered.

When it comes to women, he is Alexander the Great, and broken hearts are symbols of his conquests.

5. He just wants to make his ex jealous

Now, this hurts.

It hurts perhaps even more than the other reasons I have already listed.

Knowing that you are only with your man because he wants to make his ex jealous can do unspeakable things to your spirit.

It is childish but some men do it.

They feel so heartbroken by the way their ex ended their relationship and the only thing they can think of is revenge.

They want to get back at their ex and make them feel like they are so insignificant.

So what do they do?

They find a lady to use as a rebound.

Basically, they pretend to love her while their actual goal is to use her to make their ex jealous.

I have seen this happen from time to time and I haven’t ceased to speak about how unnecessary and unhealthy it is.

You really shouldn’t be concerned about making your ex jealous.

If you are, then it is a sign that you are still hurting and need to take time out to heal.

Don’t hurt another person just because someone else hurt you.

6. He wants sex

It is sad, but this has been a common reason for men pretending to love a woman since the history of men.

Basically, I grew up seeing most of my “friends” in secondary school misrepresent their horniness as love just to get a girl to have sex with them.

It was such a common occurrence among the guys and the major reason I never really got to do the same thing was because I just couldn’t bring myself to use a female this way.

I have a close relationship with my mom and sister, and I couldn’t imagine how I would have felt if someone had treated them like that.

It is still an ideology I have.

I can’t force myself to pretend to love someone.

If it’s not there, it’s just not there.

This is the honorable way to think.

This is the right thing to do.

Don’t lead a lady on just because you want to have sex with her.

It’s a terrible thing to do.

This article will not be complete without the signs that indicate a man is pretending to love you.

While many men are great pretenders, even the greatest pretenders slip up sometimes.

Here are some of the signs you should look out for:

1. He avoids talking about the future of the relationship… because it really has no future.

2. He doesn’t treat you like you are a priority because he really considers you an option.

3. He disrespects you in subtle and obvious ways.

4. Sex is more important to him than anything… he doesn’t even want to spend time with you except he is having sex with you.

5. He is very secretive and all misunderstandings are your fault.

6. Thinking of having special dates? Scratch that, he just wants to have sex with you or spend as little time as possible in your presence so his cover doesn’t get blown.

7. Forget about him being supportive because you can only be supportive when you like someone at least.

There you have it… The reasons and signs a man is pretending to love a woman.

If you see these signs in your relationship, it is a terrible sign that you may be in a one-sided relationship.

Understanding his reasons for pretending to love you won’t make the hurt you feel disappear.

However, it will help you make decisions that prioritize your well-being.

Be observant, trust your instincts, and make decisions that prioritize your well-being.

Before I go…

A little note to men who pretend to love women…

Stop!

Just stop it.

Grow up, man.