8 Signs Your Husband Is Obsessed With Another Woman - Olubunmi Mabel

Contrary to the consensus that men know how to hide their emotions, I believe men wear their hearts on their sleeves.

When a man feels strongly about you, it is obvious in his actions and words.

Even when he tries not to act like it, it still shows.

If your husband is obsessed with another woman, the signs will be glaring.

You either don’t know what to look for or dismiss those suspicions you feel are arising.

You make excuses for his actions.

Trust me, this is not something that is peculiar to you.

We all make excuses for the ones we love.

Well, the aim of this article is to point out those signs that you have been explaining away…

You need to take a closer (perhaps more objective) view of things.

It may turn out to be nothing but here are the signs your husband is obsessed with another woman…

1. He always talks about her

When I was younger, I had this one friend I couldn’t stop talking about.

My daily after-school gist was usually full of her antics.

Really, it was innocent for me at first…

Until I realized that I liked her.

I liked her more than my other friends because they almost never found their way into my after-school gist.

It was exclusively for her.

I wasn’t obsessed with her, but if I am being truthful, she was that light in my childhood memories.

If your husband is obsessed with another woman, he won’t be able to stop talking about her even if he wants to.

Her name would keep cropping up in conversations.

And it’s not just the fact that he talks about her that should give you pause…

If you are observant enough, you will notice a radiance on his face when he talks about her.

He finds so much joy in just talking about her.

Just the exact way people in love derive joy from talking about their partners.

Ideally, you should be the one your husband talks about like this.

But if you notice that there is this other woman he mentions regularly in conversations, it may be a sign that you need to pay more attention to what he says about her because he may be obsessed with her.

2. He acts like he has a schoolboy crush on her

This is applicable if you actually know the other woman.

Remember how schoolboys used to act around girls they liked?

Well, if you don’t, I do.

Not too long ago, I had schoolboy crushes on girls, and I can still vividly describe what it felt like.

Usually, it starts with staring at her when she is having fun with her friends.

The joy of observing her have fun is unmatched.

Then, of course, you need to always find an excuse to be around her.

You are walking by with your friends and you just need to have a muscle cramp next to her, so you can sit with her for some time without your friends getting suspicious of you.

The funny thing about schoolboy crushes is how you don’t want people to know about it, yet almost everyone knows, even the object of your desire.

However, it’s not so funny when your husband is acting this way.

He looks for opportunities to be around her while attempting to look aloof.

He wants to impress her so you may notice him doing things he wouldn’t do on a normal day.

While this is not enough to make a conclusion, it is a start.

With a combination of the next few signs, you can conclude that your husband is actually obsessed with another woman.

3. He is on his phone for too long

One major way to stalk someone you are obsessed with is social media.

Social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter make it easier for your husband to feed his growing desire for her.

So, he stays on his phone all day or for as long as he can.

He prowls through her social media accounts, staring at her pictures and perhaps even commenting on them.

I have seen this happen several times.

A friend once complained that she accepted a Facebook friend request from a particular man only to be flooded by likes and comments on all her pictures, dating back to several years ago.

I felt sad…

I saw his picture and I thought in my head…

“This is someone’s husband and father.”

The odds are if your husband is usually on his phone for long hours, this is what he is doing.

However, in some rare cases, some men may be on their phones for long hours without being obsessed with another woman.

If he displays the next sign though, then he is probably doing something suspicious on his phone.

4. He protects his phone

In the House of The Dragon series, the Kingsguard was a company of elite knights whose sole aim was to protect the royal family with their lives.

If your husband protects his phone with the same energy the Kingsguard is supposed to protect the king with, it is a sign that he is doing something fishy on the phone.

He acts like his phone is an appendage and must follow him everywhere, even into the shower.

If your husband uses his phone but doesn’t bother hiding what he is doing, it is a sign that he is probably not up to any mischief.

But if he hides his phone and takes it everywhere with him, the alarms should start blaring in your head.

What’s on his phone that is so important that he has to act like a secret agent on an undercover mission?

5. He is no longer intimate with you

When your husband is no longer intimate with you, there is a problem.

I am not just talking about bedroom stuff…

Although physical intimacy plays a major part in relationships, intimacy goes way deeper than that.

If you feel like talking to a stonewall is better than talking to your husband, it is a sign that your intimacy has suffered.

When your husband starts obsessing with another woman, intimacy is the first thing that is affected.

You may find it increasingly harder to communicate with your husband.

This is largely due to the fact that he is preoccupied with the thoughts of the other woman.

And even when you try to know what’s wrong, he probably snaps at you in annoyance.

Your husband, who used to be an open book, has now suddenly become an enigma.

He no longer tells you about his day or wants to know what is going on in yours.

This breakdown in communication also affects your sex life.

Your husband, who used to initiate physical intimacy a lot of the time, no longer attempts to.

And when you do even in the most seductive of ways, he either ignores you or goes about his “duties” perfunctorily.

Look, if your husband no longer talks to you and makes lovemaking seem like a chore, he may be obsessed with another woman.

It is hard to show love to someone else when you are obsessed with another.

6. He is suddenly too conscious of his appearance

This doesn’t apply to all men.

Some men have always been the kind to ensure that they dress well and make an impression wherever they go.

They are fashionable and concerned about their clothes and body shape.

This particular sign doesn’t apply to them.

Many married men are not like this.

After many years of marriage, many men become less concerned about their appearance.

They have the uncanny ability to shower and throw clothes on in less than fifteen minutes.

The key word there is “throw clothes on” because they just wear whatever they can lay their hands on.

If your husband is such a man and he has lately developed this concern for his appearance, it may be a sign that there is another lady he is trying to impress.

He spends too much time deciding what to wear and which cologne would be appropriate.

It is obvious that he is making a conscious effort to be presentable or even attractive to someone.

Well, if that “someone” is not you, then it is another woman.

7. He suddenly has new hobbies

I know that change is the only constant thing in life.

It is possible for your husband to genuinely develop new hobbies and interests without being motivated by a woman.

So, you shouldn’t go accusing your husband of being obsessed with another just because he has a new hobby.

However, if you have seen any of the previous signs in your husband, then a sudden change in the hobby could be a sign that he is truly obsessed with another woman and he is trying to connect with her by doing something she is interested in.

This reminds me of how my friend who used to make fun of me for reading novels, started reading novels because he was attracted to a lady that loved novels.

When a man is obsessed with a woman, he wants to impress her by all means and one of the best ways of doing that is doing the things she loves excellently.

8. He spends too much time away from home

This is a worrying sign that your husband is doing more than obsessing about another woman.

It could be a sign that he is already cheating on you with her.

Your husband may stay away from home most of the time just to be around the woman he is obsessed with.

While the above submission may be true, you must avoid assuming based on this.

Your husband may be facing a lot more pressure at work, which is forcing him to spend so much time there.

You must learn to understand the signs in context.

The fact that you are seeing a sign doesn’t mean your husband is obsessed with another woman.

It could be something else.

Now, if you can see several of the above-listed signs in your husband, the odds are he is obsessed with another woman.

However, the fact that he is obsessed with her doesn’t mean he has already cheated…

At least, not physically.

Personally, I believe that even the thought of the act is terribly disloyal.

But, your relationship can be fixed.

The first thing you need to do is to take deep, calming breaths.

Don’t give in to anger and panic.

Freaking out and accusing him won’t help matters.

You can speak to your husband about what you noticed.

Sometimes, we do things without knowing their effect on others.

Explain how his behavior has made you feel and ask him why he has been acting that way.

You could seek the help of a counselor to guide you through the whole process.

With patience, love, and readiness to improve things on both sides, the obsession is likely to fade into oblivion.

Obsessions are mostly like infatuations…

They are strong but can also be fleeting if they are not given room to grow.

So, create an environment that is not friendly to the obsession.

Resist the urge to nag, insult him, or lash out at him anyway.

It’s not going to be easy but I am rooting for you!