8 Signs Your Husband Secretly Wants A Break From The Marriage - Olubunmi Mabel

Growing up, I used to be so scared about marriage.

Spending an entire lifetime in close quarters with someone didn’t sound appealing to me.

Now, I am older and I daresay, wiser.

I believe it would be very unpleasant to live life without someone to call your own.

Marriage and a lifetime with someone you love doesn’t have to be unpleasant if you are both committed to making things work.

Commitment is what keeps a marriage, not just love.

It’s normal sometimes to have rough phases in relationships.

Even the happiest couples in the world experience rough times in their relationships.

What makes happy and successful marriages different from the others is how they don’t let the bad times define them.

It takes a full-time commitment to do this, and sometimes, it may not be easy, especially if one partner secretly wants to take a break.

If you have been getting weird vibes from your husband and wondering what is happening, this article is for you.

We will explore the various signs your husband secretly wants a break from the marriage.

Come along, let’s find out if your marriage is just going through one of those tough times or if your husband secretly wants a break from the marriage.

1. He takes the slightest opportunity to be far away from you

When your husband wants a break from marriage, you may notice that he hardly spends any time at home.

He spends most of his time either at work or hanging out with friends, and whenever he is even at home with you, it feels like he is going out of his way to avoid you.

If you suggest fun activities that you could do during the weekends, he usually comes up with various excuses why he won’t be able to spend time with you.

He may say he has plans, but it’s not about what he has planned already.

And you get an intuitive feeling that your husband would rather do anything than spend quality time with you.

My brother-in-law once mentioned how one of his coworkers preferred working long hours to going home to his wife.

In fact, he usually seemed joyful when he got a traveling assignment that took him out of town for days.

Other family men would usually grumble at such assignments, but he welcomed them with so much joy.

He would rather be away from home than at home.

When it seems like your husband actively avoids and ignores you, it is an obvious sign that something is wrong, and you need to talk about it.

2. He avoids intimacy

Intimacy is the bedrock of marriage.

Both physical and emotional intimacy are very important in marriage.

When intimacy takes a hit, it is safe to predict that everything else will spiral downward in the marriage.

When a man secretly wants a break from his marriage, he shows it by avoiding any form of intimacy with his wife.

He avoids talking to her, touching her, and making love to her.

Marriage with him just takes on the appearance of strangers living together in a boarding house.

In fact, he most likely doesn’t share the same bedroom with you.

That’s how terrible the whole thing gets.

This is a reflection of how disconnected he feels from the relationship.

It is also an expression of his secret desire for a break from marriage.

3. Some men jokingly mention it

It’s called “testing the waters,” and many men are experts at doing it.

Many men have this way of saying serious things jokingly just to see how you would react.

They use the jokes to see your receptivity to the idea they are subtly pushing at you.

If your husband has jokingly mentioned wanting to take a break from marriage more than once, it may be a sign that he really wants to and is just trying to gauge your reaction.

I once had a colleague at a photography training.

This man was married and sometimes would joke about wanting to take a break from marriage.

One time, he invited us to an overnight party at his place.

I was shocked and asked him if his wife supported the idea.

He laughed and said he had sent his wife and children on vacation to Dubai so that he could take this break from marriage and feel like a bachelor once again.

This man obviously wanted a break from marriage but couldn’t say it except through his jokes and actions like sending his wife and kids on vacations without going with them.

4. He acts exasperated when he is with you

I am a very gregarious person.

I love having people around me.

However, even the most gregarious person usually has times when they don’t want to be around anyone.

One way I used to express this desire was by being cranky.

I would be cranky for no reason because I want time for myself.

Well, you may be wondering what my point is.

My point is that if your husband secretly wants a break from the marriage, he will be easily irritable and cranky.

While mine used to be occasionally, your husband will be perpetually cranky.

If your husband seems to be more irritable or short-tempered than usual, it could be a sign that he secretly wants a break from marriage.

When you are trying to communicate, he makes it really hard for you because he is so tired that he really doesn’t care what you have to say.

He may walk out in the middle of a conflict resolution or make outbursts like, “I just need to be away from you! I need a break from you!”

If this doesn’t occur regularly, you may chalk it down to stress and fatigue.

However, if it is a constant occurrence, you may need to have a talk with him.

Chances are he is tired of the marriage and needs a break.

5. He speaks about his bachelor days with so much fondness

Everyone loves to take a trip down memory lane from time to time.

I am still in my twenties, and I am doing it.

So, it’s quite normal to remember the good old days and the not-so-good ones.

That’s how we keep memories alive as long as possible.

Men like to think they are enigmas, but they are not.

When a man secretly wants a break from his marriage, he may show this by remembering his bachelor days with so much fondness.

When he speaks about the good old days, you can hear the longing in his voice.

He is really wishing he could go back to being a bachelor and doing what bachelors do.

He talks about spending more time with the guys and having so much fun together.

From the way he speaks about enjoying his time with them and longing to spend more time away, you’ll know that he secretly wants a break.

6. He will start cheating

Cheating is such a despicable act, and nothing can ever make it right in a marriage.

However, if we are considering the signs that a man secretly wants a break from marriage, then we must also talk about this most unpleasant scenario.

When a man cheats on his wife, it is safe to assume that he is tired of the marriage, and commitment has now become such a burden to him.

And I know that it is possible for men to sometimes cheat on the women they love in the most exceptional cases, however, when a man cheats because he wants a break, it is quite obvious.

He spends more time with the other woman.

He will take every chance he gets to be with her.

At that point, you start feeling like you are just “the wife” in name, but someone else is actually really enjoying the reality of it all.

The saddest part about it is that he doesn’t make any attempt to hide the fact that he is cheating.

He does it openly so you can see it and finally give him the break he so desires but can’t bring himself to ask for.

7. He quarrels over the littlest things

I have seen couples fight over the pettiest things ever.

One moment that stands out for me though is the day a man started beating his wife mercilessly.

People had to come to her rescue to stop the way he was brutalizing her.

When he finally had time to catch his breath and speak, he said he didn’t like the way his wife always pressed the toothpaste tube from the middle.

That was the cause of the fight.

Who knew that there was a proper way to press a toothpaste tube, and pressing it the wrong way could have such terrible consequences?

I, for one, didn’t know this.

When your husband secretly wants a break from the relationship, he usually displays this tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill.

He flies off the handle at little things and picks quarrels without even the slightest provocation.

When a husband begins to behave this way, it is definitely a sign that he is tired of the relationship.

8. He is indifferent

A friend posted a sentiment I resonate with on her Whatsapp status.

She wrote, “Indifference is actually the opposite of love. In love and hate, we are still actively doing something. However, with indifference, the person just ceases to exist”.

Indifference is the worst outcome for two people who once loved each other.

But it is a possible sign your husband secretly wants a break from the marriage.

If he has been making efforts in the relationship previously and is tired, he may stop altogether.

He stops investing himself in the relationship and seems to be aloof from everything happening in the marriage.

The sad thing about indifference is that it is not easily discerned.

It usually comes with calm and peace, which can be very deceiving.

This peace is mostly due to the fact that your husband has become too agreeable.

At this point, he is done and doesn’t care about what happens in the marriage anymore.

He is just concerned about his own life, so he becomes self-centered and nonchalant in the marriage.

He doesn’t attempt to assist in making major decisions.

Neither does he even seem curious about what’s going on with your life.

At this point, it begins to feel like when two civil and polite strangers share the same house.

He talks to you when he has to about superficial things, but only when he has to.

Apart from this, silence reigns in the house.

If you recognize these signs in your husband, it’s crucial to approach the situation calmly.

Avoid panicking or getting so angry that you do something brash before you understand what is truly going on.

As I said earlier, it is important to talk to him about how you feel and what he does to you.

The above signs are not exclusive, as other things could cause them.

So talk to your husband and ask him why he has been acting this way.

If he truly wants a break from the marriage, then you may want to know why.

Really, this doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage, and it won’t be if both of you decide your marriage is worth fighting for.

You may see a marriage counselor to help you through the tough times.

If he wants time to be alone, let him have his space.

However, it is important to note that marriage is unlike a job where you can take breaks occasionally.

It is a lifetime responsibility.

While a break doesn’t mean the end of your marriage, a lot of patience, understanding, and effort need to be put into the relationship to make things work once again.