8 Things That Make A Woman Insecure In Her Relationship - Olubunmi Mabel

Just a few minutes ago, I finished reading an article that argued that women are actually simple and not complex.

Now, I feel like that’s not true.

Even by their own admission, women are complex.

But even in their complexity, certain things are irrefutable.

Most of the time, it is the little things that count to women.

Those everyday gestures that may seem so commonplace…

Gestures like appreciating her when she does something nice, complimenting her, understanding her needs, taking walks with her, spending time with her, and, of course, offering to help her when she is struggling with a task.

These are the gestures that matter as opposed to holidays in Paris, fancy dinners at restaurants that only attract celebrities or those really expensive gifts.

It is not like those fancy things are not also important.

However, despite the fancy things, there are certain things that make a woman insecure in a relationship.

You may find that despite the joy he brings you, he is usually also driving you crazy with insecurity.

Also, there are times that women feel insecure in a relationship without their partners having anything to do with it.

Here are some things that can make a woman insecure in a relationship, and a couple of them have nothing to do with the man…

Let’s go!

1. Complimenting other women’s appearance

things that make a woman insecure in a relationship

This is one of the top things that can make a woman insecure in her relationship.

Even if you compliment other women frequently, it still won’t sit well with your woman.

The fact that you can compliment other women is a sign that you are looking at other women even while you are in the company of your partner.

In your woman’s mind, she should be the center of your focus.

I mean, you probably told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world when you were wooing her.

Now that you have her, she expects to be treated like she is indeed the most beautiful woman in the world.

There is no point in going on a fancy dinner with your woman if you are going to spend time commenting on other women’s appearances instead of complimenting her.

It only serves to make her feel insecure and think about it; if you were in her shoes and she just kept on gushing about other men’s appearance, you would have felt really hurt.

Men, stop doing this if you do it.

2. Keeping secrets from her

things that make a woman insecure in a relationship

Everyone has a right to their own privacy.

I understand the need to keep certain things silent.

I am not an open book to many people, and while some people think they know me, they don’t really know me.

However, vulnerability is something that comes with the terrain of a relationship, and you need it to successfully navigate relationship issues.

So, this brings up the question of how private should you be in your relationship.

What level of privacy is appropriate for your relationship?

If you hide your phone or put so many passwords on it, you may be giving your woman cause to feel insecure in the relationship.

You don’t pick up certain calls when she is around, or there are gaps when she can’t reach you and you can’t tell her where you are…

And you expect her to feel secure in the relationship?

Bro, these behaviors make you a walking landmine.

It is hard to feel secure when you are literally navigating an area filled with haphazardly placed landmines.

A misstep could cause an eruption of great proportions.

3. Evading commitment

So, you are supposed to be in a relationship with this lady, but whenever she asks you, “What are we?” Are you going to find ways to evade the question, and are you expecting her to feel secure in the relationship?

You may think not fully committing to the relationship keeps her on her toes, but it doesn’t.

It only leaves her wondering if she should be so committed to the relationship since she is not getting any positive response from you.

Really, there is nothing more frustrating than a man who blows hot and cold.

Today, you are all loving, caring, and communicative; the next day, you just disappear and ghost her for days or weeks.

This is a terribly toxic behavior that can only stir up feelings of insecurity in your woman.

Don’t lead your partner on if you are not ready to commit.

Let her know what she’s getting into right from the start.

4. You talk too much about your ex

things that make a woman insecure in a relationship

I know you want to tell her about your past relationships, but can you please reduce how you talk about your ex?

She doesn’t want to know how your ex looks, how brilliant she is, or how successful she is.

This is unnecessary information and could make your woman feel insecure about the relationship.

Ooh, you are still friends with your ex?

That’s not exactly wrong but what’s wrong is you being too close with your ex.

You may feel like your friendship with your ex is innocent, but it could be one of the things that makes women insecure in relationships.

5. You don’t consider her opinions

things that make a woman insecure in a relationship

Not considering your partner’s opinions is a sign of utter disrespect.

It shows that apart from whatever fringe benefits the relationship may bring, you really have no other use for her.

Making decisions that involve her without asking for her consent or opinions could stir up insecurity in her.

This is because you are acting unpredictably, and with unpredictability comes instability.

She doesn’t feel stable in the relationship and regardless of whatever you say, she will still question your love for her if you keep on ignoring her opinions.

Love isn’t just about romance; it also involves those little gestures that show how much you value your partner’s presence in your life.

6. Refusing to talk about your past

Yeah, I know I told you to never talk too much about your ex.

However, don’t take my advice to the extreme and clam up about your past whenever she asks.

It only worsens things.

It makes her feel like you are not ready to trust her with your secrets.

You could talk about your past relationships, but keep it brief, and whatever you do, don’t start gushing about your ex’s good attributes.

You will only end up starting a competition between your woman and her.

Hiding things about your past will only make her insecure, and when she finds out, she could start feeling like she can’t trust you anymore.

7. Over criticisms

Even though constructive criticisms are great for growth, when your partner is one who constantly finds fault in everything you do, you are bound to feel insecure.

I met a woman who had a very critical partner; she was always scared about the future of her relationship.

She loved this guy but never felt enough for him.

8. Emotional baggage from past relationships

things that make a woman insecure in a relationship

Now, this is not on you, but it is among those things that make women feel insecure in relationships.

If your girlfriend or wife has been heartbroken and hurt in several past relationships, she may feel insecure about your relationship despite your best efforts to assure her that you love her and will never leave her.

This is a normal occurrence, and you should expect it.

There’s no way that anyone experiences so much trauma without it leaving a mark.

You can only do your best to reaffirm how much you love her while encouraging her to get professional help.

I know it feels like an uphill task, but with love and determination, you can have a successful relationship with your partner despite their insecurities.


They must also show a willingness to work on their insecurity issues.

Also, you should take note of those things that men do to make their partners insecure and never do them in your relationship.

I wish you all the best as you embark on this journey.

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