9 Awful Things That Happen When Couples Stop Sleeping With Each Other - Olubunmi Mabel

Marriage isn’t all about sex, but a few hours of watching TV shows may have you thinking that it is all that keeps a marriage going.

It is not.

In reality, every relationship has dry spells when it comes to sex.

A married woman once told me that sex is not food, and while it may seem like such a novelty to young folks, married couples have times when they would rather not have sex.

It’s pretty normal.

What’s not normal is when it goes on for too long.

When couples stop sleeping with each other for a long time, it means there is a big problem in the marriage that needs to be addressed quickly to avoid the unfortunate consequences of couples not sleeping with each other.

It is these things that happen when couples stop sleeping with each other that we aim to explore in this article.

Of course, we would also include ways to rekindle your sex life because we want you to have a successful marriage.

Come along!

1. Frustration

When couples stop sleeping with each other, it usually isn’t a joint decision.

It probably is the result of one partner refusing to have sex when it is initiated by the other.

If one partner is interested in having sex while the other partner keeps on refusing them, they may end up feeling frustrated.

They have acquired so much pent-up energy and need an outlet to release it.

I, for one, understand the pain of bearing pent-up sexual tension inside you without any outlet to release it.

There was this time I just kept on doing things I shouldn’t do.

Social media kept on bringing up those sexually suggestive videos, and I kept on watching them.

Until I started feeling actual physical pain.

I had gotten so aroused that I had gotten blue balls ( a pain in your scrotal sac that every guy has probably felt).

I was in so much pain physically and frustrated because I had put myself in that difficult situation.

The frustration is even more for married couples who stop sleeping with each other because when you think the sexual tension is going down, you see your partner again, and it goes right up.

This frustration could lead to several more serious situations, which we will consider later in this article.

2. Intimacy suffers

Permit me to first state that sex is not the only form of intimacy couples can have.

There are other forms of intimacy: emotional, nonsexual touch, and deep conversations.

However, most couples are their most intimate self when they have sex.

This is when they meld into each other, physically and emotionally, if they are doing it the right way.

That is… If they are making love, not just making babies.

Because this is the major expression of intimacy for most couples, they may begin to lose intimacy when they stop sleeping with each other.

I am not saying that there are no exceptions to this rule.

Some couples have built their intimacy so much over time that they can be equally intimate with just a touch on the arm as with mind-blowing sex.

However, these couples are very rare, and when couples stop sleeping with each other, it spells doom for their connection in the marriage.

Intimacy is one of the major pillars of marriage; when it is gone, the entire edifice may soon start to crumble.

3. There is conflict

There is no relationship without conflict.

However, the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is what conflict does in both relationships.

In a healthy relationship, conflict helps strengthen the bond between the couples.

They realize how much they need to grow through conflict and make efforts to improve.

In an unhealthy relationship, conflict leads to more conflicts until the relationship is like a mini warzone.

When couples stop sleeping with each other, it may lead to intense conflict.

You must remember that I said that couples don’t usually sit down and agree not to have sex.

When they stop, it is mainly because one partner is refusing to allow sexual intimacy, or life gets too busy, and they stop being intentional.

This will fuel a deep frustration that will soon lead to constant unresolved conflicts.

If a hungry man is an angry man, then you don’t want to see what a sexually deprived man or woman can do.

4. There is a whole lot of resentment in the relationship

In a relationship, it is impossible not to offend your partner.

Partners usually offend each other, and this is not even necessarily a conflict.

It just means that you annoy the other person, they tell you, and you apologize… Simple, right?

That’s how it’s supposed to be.

However, it is not so simple when couples stop sleeping with each other.

They start holding grudges against each other, and in the long run, this accumulates and ruins the relationship.

Resentment kills a relationship.

This is the general aftermath of a sexless marriage.

5. Lack of trust

Trust is a central pillar of a relationship.

Just like love and sexual intimacy, it holds up the relationship.

Any building expert will tell you that once one pillar is compromised, it affects the others because they start taking more pressure than usual.

It is the same thing with a relationship.

When couples stop sleeping with each other, other aspects of the relationship also take a hit.

They may start having other issues.

The trust issue is one that majorly crops up in this situation.

Consider this scenario… You are a man, and you have a really beautiful wife.

In the beginning, your wife was always the one initiating sex.

It almost seemed like she couldn’t get enough of it.

Then, all of a sudden, she stops asking for sex, and when you ask, she gives excuses to avoid doing it with you.

If this continues, you may start having issues trusting your wife.

You may start wondering if she is cheating on you.

If someone who used to be sexually active suddenly starts avoiding sex, you may begin to think she is getting the satisfaction outside.

6. Self-esteem issues

When couples stop sleeping with each other, it may come with a host of other issues for the relationship.

However, this one is quite personal to the partner who still wants to have sex but has been rebuffed so many times that they don’t make any effort to initiate sex.

The fact is that dealing with rejection can be challenging, and most of the time, it leaves you feeling inadequate.

The aftermath of couples stopping sleeping with each other is that at least one of them ends up feeling like they are not good enough.

This is also another doomsday message for the relationship.

7. Insecurity reigns

When couples stop sleeping with each other for a prolonged period, they may lose their feeling of security in their marriage.

What’s the essence of marriage if you don’t feel safe with your partner?

You start having trust issues, and then you start questioning your status in the marriage.

Are you truly safe in the marriage?

Can your husband wake up one morning and say he is done with the relationship?

Can your wife file for divorce soon?

You start thinking all sorts of negative thoughts.

This makes it even harder for the relationship to work.

8. They cheat on each other

So, we have spoken of how trust issues make you think your spouse is cheating on you.

But now, we are because when couples stop sleeping with each other, they may decide to cheat on their partners.

One of the major causes of infidelity is sexual dissatisfaction. While you are not responsible for your partner’s decision to cheat, you must fulfill your marital duties to avoid stories that touch the heart.

Many times, couples that end up cheating on each other usually start by first putting a halt to sexual relations in their marriage.

9. The marriage ends up in a divorce

This is the worst-case scenario; after passing through all the phases above, the marriage will most likely end here.

After so many conflicts that result from couples refusing to have sex with each other, they may later decide that it is better to go their separate ways.

This is especially true after discovering that one or both partners have been cheating.

This is a sad way to end a marriage, especially if you still love each other.

To prevent these sad events from occurring in your relationship, you could attempt to resurrect your sexual life.

How do you do this?

The first step is to sincerely talk with your partner about the elephant in the room.

Talk about those things that turn them off when having sex.

If your partner is avoiding sex with you, they are probably turned off by something.

Also, it is important to participate actively in lovemaking.

Don’t leave your partner to do all the work alone.

Sex becomes hard work when all the fervor is one-sided.

Be open to learning and trying new things.

Finally, you can explore the option of marriage counseling and engage the service of a professional marriage counselor.