9 Behaviors That Expose a Man Who’s Hiding an Affair - Olubunmi Mabel
Infidelity is tough.
Writing about it is even tougher because we are not just writing about a topic here.
These are people’s lives and families we are talking about here.
Cheating can destroy relationships and cause immense pain.
But it’s a sad reality that affairs happen more often than we’d like to admit.
While both men and women can be unfaithful, this article will focus on the behaviors of a man who is hiding an affair.
I get that some men are really smart about it and can keep their infidelity under wraps.
But there are certain behaviors that can give them away, especially if they have an observant wife or one who’s already suspicious.
So, if you have a gut feeling that something is off with your man, pay attention to these behaviors that may expose him as a cheating husband.
9 Behaviors That Expose a Man Who’s Hiding an Affair
1. Being Secretive About His Phone
The number one device that exposes a cheating partner is their phone.
In this time and age, the secret of virtually everyone’s life lies in their phone.
If you want to know the kind of person someone is, just look through their phone.
Their gallery, browsing history, YouTube watch history, text messages, and call logs can reveal much about their life.
While technology has improved our lives in many ways, it has also made it easier to cheat and hide those affairs.
Cheating husbands know this, so they try to guard their phones with their lives.
Since we are talking about him hiding affairs, he’ll try to make his phone behavior as subtle as possible.
But if you are an observant wife, you’ll notice a change in his phone habits and realize he’s hiding something.
Maybe he always keeps it with him, even when he’s just going to the kitchen.
Or he starts putting a password on it when he has never cared about it before.
He might turn the screen away when you’re nearby or get jumpy if you ask to see it.
He might even delete messages, call logs, pictures, and browsing history to cover his tracks.
2. Working Late or Traveling More Often
If he’s not cheating with someone living with you, then he needs to be out of the house to meet his mistress.
What better excuses could he give than longer working hours or frequent business trips?
So he has to devise excuses for working late or traveling more frequently.
Maybe there’s a big project at work, or the boss needs him to travel for an important meeting. bla bla
If you notice these “work emergencies” happening more frequently and without much notice, he might be hiding something.
It’s common for cheating husbands to use their jobs as an excuse to spend time with the other woman.
This doesn’t mean that every man who works late or travels often is having an affair, but it’s worth paying attention to if you’re already suspicious.
3. Changes in His Appearance
Men tend to put more effort into their appearance when they have affairs.
They want to look good for their mistress and appear desirable and attractive.
The same efforts they have refused to make to look good for their wives suddenly become important.
If your husband suddenly starts hitting the gym, buying new clothes, or grooming himself more frequently than usual, it could be a sign of an affair.
However, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s grooming himself for a promotion or just trying to improve his overall health.
But if these sudden changes coincide with other warning signs, it’s worth investigating further, dear.
4. He’s Overly Defensive
When you casually ask him about his day or where he’s been, does he suddenly snap at you or accuse you of being too nosy?
A cheating husband often becomes overly defensive, even about innocent questions. It’s like he’s on high alert, worried that you might catch onto his secret.
No matter how much he tries to hide it and stay cool, he’ll lose his cool one day, and his defensiveness will only raise suspicions.
If he has nothing to hide, why is he getting so defensive?
Instead of calmly answering questions like he used to, he might deflect by saying things like, “Why are you always interrogating me?” or “You don’t trust me anymore.”
He just wants to throw you off track and make you doubt your instincts.
5. Unexplained Expenses
Affairs cost money, plain and simple.
Living a double life requires you to have resources to fund it, and often, that means spending money on things your spouse doesn’t know about.
That’s why I usually say, ”Don’t trust the loyalty/humility of a poor man.”
There are some sins you can’t commit if you don’t have money. lol
From dinners, burner phones, gifts, secret getaways, and even hotels, these expenses can add up quickly and show up on bank statements or credit card bills.
If your husband is suddenly being secretive about his spending or if you notice unexplained charges, it could be a sign that he’s hiding something from you.
Or you notice a sudden interest in withdrawing cash.
Cash doesn’t usually leave a paper trail, making it easy for someone to hide their spending from their spouse.
So, yeah.
It’s worth looking into.
6. Sudden Privacy About His Plans
Cheating is tough, guys!
Because you have to come up with a reasonable excuse to leave the house without raising suspicions.
Sometimes, he might not be able to devise a good enough excuse, so he’ll just be secretive or evasive about his plans.
If he used to be open about his plans, telling you where he’s going and with whom, but now he’s vague or evasive, he likely has something to hide.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m grabbing a drink with Mike,” he might just say, “I’m heading out for a bit.”
Heading out to where bro?
Before you can even reply, he’s already out of the house.
He knows he’s likely to slip up and give something away if he sticks around too long.
This kind of behavior is not normal.
7. Lack of Interest in Physical Intimacy
If he’s not just having an emotional affair but is also physically cheating, his desire for physical intimacy with you may decrease.
I know some men still try to have s*x with their wives while cheating, but it’s often just out of habit or to avoid suspicion.
If he’s not getting it from you and he’s not physically ill or emotionally depressed, then you know he’s getting it from someone else.
Another sign is that he might be making love to you like he’s doing to another woman.
I’m currently watching ”Mad Men” on Netflix.
One of the main characters, Don Draper, often cheats on his wife, and in one of her therapy sessions, Don Draper’s wife tells her therapist that her husband makes love like he’s doing it to another woman.
Yes, he’s a loving husband and father at home, but even his wife could sense that there was something different about the way he made love to her.
So no matter how careful a cheating partner is, somehow their behavior in the bedroom will give them away.
Of course, intimacy can ebb and flow for many reasons, like stress or health issues, so don’t jump to conclusions right away.
But if this lack of interest coincides with other suspicious behaviors, it could mean he’s focusing his energy on someone else.
8. He’s Overcompensating
Some men do feel guilty about cheating, and to cope with those feelings, they try to overcompensate by being extra affectionate or showering their partner with gifts.
Don Draper, as much of a serial cheater as he was, would often shower his wife with gifts and affection after being unfaithful.
So if he’s suddenly showering you with gifts, compliments, or grand romantic gestures out of the blue, it might not be as sweet as it seems.
Overcompensating can be a tactic to distract you or ease his guilt for cheating.
While it’s nice to be treated well, pay attention to whether his actions feel genuine or he’s hiding something.
9. You Feel It in Your Gut
Lastly, never underestimate your intuition.
As women, we often pick up on subtle changes in behavior, tone, and energy that signal something wrong.
If you’ve noticed several of these behaviors and your gut is screaming that something isn’t right, don’t ignore it.
A gut feeling isn’t proof, but it’s a sign that your subconscious is picking up on clues you might not be able to articulate fully.
Trust yourself, and don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation if you feel something is off.
Sometimes, the biggest red flag is the one you feel rather than see.
