9 Things Your Husband Wishes You Would Do More Often - Olubunmi Mabel

What do husbands really want from their wives?

This is a question that is on the minds of many married women and unmarried ladies who are already considering spending their lives with someone.

Is sex enough to keep a man satisfied and happy in the marriage?

Or is there more to marriage than that?

Should you compliment him more often and complain less?

Does he want to be trusted more?

We intend to answer all these questions by exploring a list of those things your husband wishes you would do more often.

I know you may cringe a little at the idea of having to add more things to your already long to-do list…

However, this is not just a list of how to please your husband.

Rather, it is a list of how to enjoy your marriage while considering your husband’s needs.

Of course, it is also expected that he reciprocates.

Marriage is not a one-way street.

So, come along, let’s find out those things your husband wishes you would do more often.

1. He wants you to compliment him more

There’s this particular misconception that men don’t care about compliments.

People say that guys don’t like being complimented because of how they react to it.

In Nigeria, where I live, if you tell a guy he is looking good, his reply is most probably not “Thank you.”

He would say something like, “You are teasing me,” or “You are finer.”

Or he’d look at you with funny eyes if you are also a guy.

They react this way because of their upbringing.

They have been made to believe that men don’t have time to be fishing around for compliments.

However, even the hardest guys love a compliment if it comes from someone they love.

Your husband definitely won’t reject compliments from people out there but he prefers to hear it from his wife.

He wants to know that you appreciate and approve of him…

This doesn’t mean he is a schoolboy waiting for his dad to show approval after seeing his examination results.

However, compliments mean more to husbands when they come from their wives.

Just yesterday, I felt that rush that comes from being called “cute” by someone you love, and I can tell you that I consistently want to experience it.

Your husband loves that rush of pleasure that comes with your compliments and he wishes you would do so more often.

2. He wants you to recognize his efforts

This is another important thing husbands wish their wives would do more often.

I have found that people generally find it easier to complain when things are not good than to appreciate when things are great.

You shouldn’t be like this in your marriage.

It is a lifelong commitment, and while life may seem short, it is too long to constantly complain.

Your husband wishes you could recognize his efforts more often.

He wishes you would see how much he is trying to make things right even if things are not going as planned.

We all want this…

Even you too.

You want to be recognized when you do a good job.

You still want to be recognized when you put in a great effort to do something even if it seems like you are not getting it done.

Well, your husband wishes you would no longer take his efforts for granted.

Rather than being fixated on the things that are not working well, perhaps you could focus more on the positive things and appreciate him more often.

He really doesn’t like getting nagged.

No one likes it when we come down to the actual fact of it.

3. He wishes you would initiate sex more

Well, I heard something that shocked me recently.

A married woman was saying that she doesn’t like to initiate sex because she feels like it makes her cheap.

Choi! (Exclamation of  disbelief).

I literally exclaimed in amazement when I heard the statement.

Wives, one of the most important things your husband wishes you’d do more often is initiating sex more often.

You don’t have to always wait for him to initiate sex.

I get it that you are busy and stressed out but sex shouldn’t be thought of as work.

It can actually help you relax.

Sex is not just something men do; it’s another way of bonding in relationships.

Wives, when you feel like getting down with your husbands go for it!

They wish you’d do that more often.

4. He wishes you could be a little more spontaneous

Life has this way of bringing so many obligations and duties into the lives of adults that it becomes absolutely difficult to have fun.

Being a wife and a mother is not a joke, and if you combine them with a job, then you must be a superhero.

But sometimes, your husband needs you to consider infusing a little spontaneity into your lives.

Have fun with him, be adventurous, and be free of the worries of life.

He wants to switch things up in the marriage but he needs your help to get this done.

5. He wants you to listen to him more

Husbands thrive in an environment that is full of love and respect.

Listening to your husband is one way you show how much you respect and love him.

With the introduction of smartphones, it has become even more difficult for people to listen actively to others.

And husbands find this frustrating.

They find it frustrating when their wives are so focused on their phones when they are trying to talk to them.

Remember how it was rude to chat on your phone while on a date with your man?

The rule hasn’t changed.

I know you want to keep up with your favorite celebrities and Tiktokers, but your husband would prefer that you keep up with him when he tells you about his day.

If you are having a conversation with your husband, he wishes you would pay more attention to what he is telling you.

This is not even an attempt to make you do what he wants.

He just wishes you would listen to and acknowledge him more often.

6. He wants you to dress better in the house

As a kid in Nigeria, I grew up seeing wives and mothers clad in just wrappers so often that it shaped my view of motherhood and wives.

To me, any lady in the house who constantly ties wrappers or wears baggy clothes must be a wife and mother.

Consider my shock when I started actually seeing women who dress nicely even when they are at home.

I felt like someone must have been lying to me and these well-dressed women couldn’t be married women.

I had to unlearn and relearn that men actually want their wives to look good for them.

The issue is that most wives get so comfortable in their marriage that they stop trying to appear attractive to their man.

He is not necessarily asking you to become a supermodel…

All he wants is for you to be his very own supermodel!

7. He wants you to express yourself more

Men are tired of women thinking that they are mind readers.

They are not.

If you are going through something or you are dissatisfied with something he does, he prefers that you tell him.

Acting cold and giving him the silent treatment only makes him feel confused, especially if he really doesn’t know that he has done anything wrong to you.

Talk to him…

Tell him when he has done something to upset you.

Don’t just keep it to yourself and expect him to apologize.

Without speaking up sometimes, your husband may sometimes think you are being dramatic with your mood swings.

8. He wishes you would apologize more

Knowing when to apologize is one of the best ways to avoid unnecessary conflicts in relationships

.Only perfect people don’t need to apologize.

This is why I can boldly say that we all have someone we need to apologize to because there are no perfect people.

One of the best ways to avoid unnecessary conflicts in relationships is knowing when to apologize.

Your husband wishes you wouldn’t hold on to pride so much that you refuse to apologize for doing wrong things.

“Sorry” is that little magic word that can get you and your husband back on track even after major conflicts.

So, learn to apologize more.

It would help improve your marriage experience.

9. He wants you to discard unrealistic expectations

The myths that society has propagated over the years about “perfect” marriages have made several ladies develop the wrong notion of marriage.

Marriage is not a “happily ever after” venture.

It is a process that involves the full investment of both partners.

Your husband wishes you would discard those unreal expectations you have had about marriage.

He is not perfect and will surely make mistakes.

He may not be that romantic man who brings you flowers every day and writes poetry for you.

He may not be able to take you on that dream vacation of yours… at least, not yet.

But all of these shouldn’t matter if he is a solid man who loves you, provides for the family, and treats you respectfully.

Your husband wants you to discard your unrealistic expectations because they are interfering with your ability to see the things he does and respect him for it.

Take a minute and think about all the ways he must have shown you love.

Think about all the ways he has made you a priority.

He wants you to start doing the same but first, you need to discard those expectations of marriage.

They are Disney-generated and don’t apply to reality.

Here you have it…

The various things your husband wishes you would do more often.

This is not an attempt to make you into a person who pleases her husband to her detriment but an attempt to ensure that you enjoy the best of married life.