A wise woman will never marry a man who does these 6 things - Olubunmi Mabel

Who is a wise woman, and what makes her different from other women?

I’ll tell you.

A wise woman is someone who has self-awareness, inner strength, and a deep understanding of herself.

She is a woman who has learned from her mistakes and experiences and uses that knowledge to make better choices in life.

Don’t confuse wisdom with perfection here.

A wise woman is not someone who has all the answers or never makes mistakes.

She is human, just like everyone else.

The difference is that she learns from her mistakes and strives to be better.

So why would a wise woman never marry a man who does certain things?

It’s because she values herself and knows what she deserves in a partner.

That’s why she’ll never marry a man who does the following things:

1. A man who doesn’t know what he wants

There are many men who are clueless as to what they want in a woman/relationship.

These men are usually trapped between multiple women and will be confused about their feelings.

They are also the men who always ghost or pull away when things start getting serious.

Not only that, they are generous with giving mixed signals and playing mind games.

As a wise woman, this is not your business.

It’s not your responsibility to convince a man to choose you or to figure out what he wants.

A wise woman knows her worth and will not settle for someone who is unsure and indecisive about her.

She wants a man who knows exactly what he wants and is willing to go after it (her) with conviction.

A man who doesn’t know what he wants has no business being in a relationship with a woman who knows what she wants.

2. A man who doesn’t respect her

They say men need respect; women need love.

Well, I am a woman, and I want to be loved and respected.

Respect is non-negotiable for a wise woman.

It’s not just about opening doors or saying please and thank you, although those are nice gestures.

True respect involves honoring each other’s boundaries, listening, and valuing one another’s opinions and feelings, even when they differ from our own.

A wise woman knows that a relationship without respect is like a house without a foundation; it simply cannot stand.

A man who doesn’t respect you will never fully love you.

He may say he loves you, but his actions will speak louder than his words. 

A man who respects you will not belittle or criticize you but instead, uplift and support you.

He will value your opinions and seek your advice because he sees you as an equal partner in the relationship.

A man who does not respect you will try to control or manipulate you, making you feel small and insignificant.

He may even use hurtful words or actions to keep you in line.

But a wise woman knows her worth and will not allow anyone to treat her with disrespect.

She will never tie her life with a man who cannot show her the respect she rightly deserves, who talks down to her, invalidates her feelings, or disregards her boundaries.

Nah.

You might not be able to control how someone chooses to treat you, but you can control how much you allow them to be in your life.

3. A man who doesn’t support her dreams

I’m very passionate about this point because I’ve seen too many women give up their dreams for a man who didn’t support them.

A real partner should lift you up and encourage you to pursue your passions and goals.

I always encourage women to get a life of their own outside of a relationship and not lose themselves in a man.

You are your own person with your own dreams and aspirations, and a good partner should respect and support that.

Don’t settle for someone who constantly belittles your dreams or tries to hold you back from achieving them.

Or someone who only wants you to fit into their life instead of creating a life together where both of your dreams can thrive. 

It’s okay to have separate passions and goals, but you have to support each other’s individual growth.

That’s what makes marriage fun.

Life, and even marital life, can be quite boring if you don’t have anything to look forward to or work towards.

4. A man who is emotionally unavailable

Any woman can marry an emotionally unavailable man, but not a wise woman.

It takes wisdom to recognize when someone is emotionally unavailable and to not pursue a relationship with them. 

Emotional unavailability can manifest in many ways, such as being unable to express emotions or connect on a deeper level, constantly putting up walls and avoiding vulnerability, or having unresolved issues from their past that they refuse to address. 

This type of person may seem intriguing at first, but a long-term relationship with them will only lead to frustration and heartache. 

You’ll be constantly drained and frustrated trying to get them to open up and be emotionally present. 

A wise woman has goals, so she’d rather spend her time and energy on someone who is capable of reciprocating her feelings and building a fulfilling relationship. 

I’m not trying to judge a man who is battling with emotional unavailability, as it can stem from past traumas or insecurities. 

However, if a man is serious about having a relationship with a wise woman, he needs to be willing to do the work and address his emotional barriers. 

If a man isn’t willing to make that effort, a wise woman will move on and find someone who is ready to meet her halfway. 

You can’t force someone to open up and be vulnerable, but you can choose to invest your time and energy in someone who values your emotional well-being. 

5. A wise woman will never marry a man who shows dishonesty

Two days ago, I asked people on Facebook to mention their number 1 red flag in a relationship. 

A lot of people, including me, mentioned dishonesty.

I can’t stand a lying man, and I know most women feel the same. 

I think it’s an insult to my intelligence when a man thinks he can get away with lying to me. 

Lying shows a lack of respect and trust.

You don’t respect me enough to be honest with me, and you don’t trust me enough to handle the truth. 

A wise woman knows that a marriage built on lies is bound to crumble.

She understands the importance of honesty and transparency in a relationship.

She knows that if she cannot trust her partner, there is no foundation for a strong and lasting marriage. 

6. A man who doesn’t share her values

Values are the backbone of any lasting and meaningful relationship.

You know why?

Because values are what guide our actions and decisions. 

They serve as the compass that guides us through life’s ups and downs, helping us to make decisions that align with our deepest beliefs and convictions.

When two people share similar values, they form a stronger bond because they are moving in the same direction, with the same intentions and goals for their life together.

A man who doesn’t share my values is a man I cannot marry.

If we don’t agree on important things like faith, family, children, and morals, how can we build a life together?

A wise woman knows that marrying a man with incompatible values will set her up for heartache and disappointment in the long run.

Because values are the foundation of any successful relationship/marriage, it’s important to have conversations about them early on.

In fact, many experts recommend discussing values before even going on a first date.

This may seem extreme, but it can save a lot of heartache and wasted time later on.  

Of course, you won’t know everything about a person’s values after just one conversation, but it can give you a good starting point to decide if pursuing a relationship with them is worth it.

At the end of the day, every woman has to decide what she wants in a relationship and what she can tolerate or compromise on.

Because I’m sure the above six points are not exhaustive, it’s important for each person to have their own list of men they cannot marry.