Couples Who Are The Happiest Have These 9 Useful habits - Olubunmi Mabel

Marriage may not be the paradise many people imagine it to be, but many couples are enjoying successful marriages.

Marriage has its ups and downs.

What makes a marriage successful is how couples approach the challenges of marriage.

To clarify what a successful marriage is, a list of the things it is not should come in handy.

A successful marriage doesn’t mean the absence of conflicts.

A successful marriage doesn’t mean there are no financial issues.

Some of the most successful and happiest marriages have faced severe financial challenges in the past.

A successful marriage doesn’t mean that couples think alike, never disagree, and can read each other’s minds.

No, it doesn’t.

To believe that a successful marriage is any of these things is to have a shallow perspective of marriage.

I know you may seen couples who say they can always anticipate each other’s needs and never have to quarrel.

While this may be true, it is not the standard metric for measuring a happy marriage.

Now, you are wondering what the standard measure is, right?

It is not something that can be measured in meters or Celsius, but to have a happy marriage, you may need to study the marriages of other happy couples around you.

Truly happy couples.

This article will explore the habits I have noticed in couples who are truly happy in their marriages.

These habits are not so hard to develop; with the determination to have a great marriage, you can always develop them in your relationship.

Also, with the help of your partner.

So, make sure you share this article with them.

It could be just the thing your marriage needs this season.

Let’s get started!!

Couples Who Are The Happiest Have These 9 Useful Habits

1. They insulate themselves from third parties

Some of my readers may not be Christians, but I am.

And while this is not an attempt to shove my religious beliefs down your throats, I think the Bible has great prescriptions for a happy marriage.

The scriptures speak about a man finding a wife and cleaving to her to become one.

These scriptures speak of a man and a woman: just two people in a marriage.

Marriage is not a union of two families.

It is a union of individuals to form a family.

The mistake many couples make is to include their families so much in the union that it seems that they are also married to you.

As soon as certain things happen in your marriage, you are off running to tell Daddy and Mummy about it.

You tell them everything, even intimate details of your relationships.

Really, it shouldn’t be so.

I remember when I was a kid, another kid would do something to hurt me.

My first instinct would always be to rush off to report to the nearest adult.

This shouldn’t be your first instinct when you have conflicts in marriage.

You have now grown to become “the nearest adult,” and you have to start acting like it.

Resolve the conflict with your partner like the adults you are.

I already stated that a happy marriage is not devoid of conflicts.

Rather, it is a union of mature individuals who know how to handle conflicts effectively.

They did not come to this world with these skills; they learned them.

So, learn how to resolve conflicts effectively.

You don’t always have to share intimate details of your relationship with outsiders.

Of course, you must note that I am not asking you to isolate yourself from your family and friends.

I am only saying that outsiders may see your relationship differently because they are on the outside.

Hence, you shouldn’t always invite their influence in your marriage.

Their intentions may be good, but they may turn out to be counterproductive.

Couples who are the happiest know and practice this.

2. They don’t compare their relationship to others

We live in a digital world.

The world has been made so small by technology and social media apps.

Scrolling through your timelines, you can always see famous people posting about their picture-perfect marriages, and you may sometimes be tempted to be dissatisfied with your relationship.

The happiest couples know enough not to believe everything they see on social media.

They also know that each marriage is unique and shouldn’t be compared to each other.

They don’t compare their marriage with that of their friends and definitely don’t have unrealistic expectations of each other because of a post they saw on social media.

However, note that this doesn’t mean couples shouldn’t aspire to improve the quality of their relationship.

This should be done internally by reviewing all aspects of the relationship and choosing the areas to improve upon.

It shouldn’t be done by comparing your marriage with that of others.

Couples who are happiest know that comparing their relationship with those social media relationships will only leave them feeling infinitely disappointed and dissatisfied.

3. They have shared interests

Shared interests and common goals are some of the best ways to bond with others.

Couples who are the happiest know this.

They cultivate common interests and share common goals.

This doesn’t mean that they do the same thing all the time.

What it means is that they have shared interests, which they engage in from time to time to maintain the bond and connection in the relationship.

They spend quality time together and are involved in these shared activities.

Do you want a happy and successful marriage?

You need to have common interests.

Shared interests and projects are very helpful in keeping the relationship bond stronger.

4. They focus more on what their partner is doing right

Now, this is not an advice to be delusional or oblivious of reality.

No one is perfect, and while we strive to be better, no one can still be perfect.

This is why couples with the happiest marriages have developed the habit of focusing more on what their partner does right than what he does wrongly.

If you choose always to find fault in someone, you will always find fault.

So, why don’t you concentrate on their positive aspects?

Just the other day, a friend of mine asked me to take pictures of her.

Now, I am not a picture person, and for the most part, I don’t take pictures.

But, I did her the favor of taking several shots of her.

Only for her to see the first two and start complaining about the quality of what I snapped.

She got another person to take some more pictures of her.

When she later checked it, she discovered that the pictures I took were far better, and only the first two had that issue.

She had to apologize.

And because I am such a gracious person, I forgave her.

The fact is that if she had been searching for something positive, she would have continued checking the pictures instead of judging me based on two pictures.

This is the same way focusing on your partner’s faults will never let you see their good parts.

However, focusing on what they are doing right gives you a better perspective of your partner.

You will also learn to appreciate their efforts.

Couples who are the happiest know and practice this.

That’s the reason for their happiness.

You should note that while looking for the positive aspects of your partner, you must prioritize your well-being.

You can’t be searching for the positive side of a man who abuses you physically, mentally, and verbally…

Safety first, my dear!

5. They are extremely intimate

Intimacy is not just about sex, though; sex is a big part of it.

However, you shouldn’t make the mistake of restricting it to bedroom gymnastics alone.

Intimacy is the lifeline of any successful marriage.

Once intimacy dies, the marriage dies with it, except it is rekindled.

Intimacy requires effective and honest communication, lots of quality time spent together, and loads of sex too.

I know I said it is not about sex alone, but sex could be a major player.

Intimacy involves being able to talk about their fears, concerns, dreams, aspirations, and other “mundane” things couples gist about.

This is another factor that helps in effective conflict resolution.

The fact that you really know your partner helps you know when something is wrong and makes it easier for you to communicate with each other.

Couples who are the happiest have built habits that help them improve intimacy in the relationship.

They spend quality time together, encouraging each other to speak freely and honestly without fear of judgment.

All these are done to improve intimacy between couples.

6. They communicate their feelings

I know this is quite related to what I have already said above but stay with me, I am heading somewhere.

You know how couples get so intimate that they can anticipate each other’s moods?

Some usually get to that point and expect their partners to read their minds.

Don’t be like them.

They spend so much time waiting for their partners to read their minds that they become resentful when this doesn’t happen.

Communication is key, and couples who are truly happy know this.

Hence, they have developed the habit of communicating their feelings and emotions.

They tell their partners when they are angry at them or when they are hurt.

They also let their partners know when they are happy with them.

People usually misinterpret communication of feelings as expressing hurt.

However, it means more than that.

It also involves expressing appreciation, happiness, or love.

Couples who are truly happy in their marriages are couples who have mastered the art of expressing their feelings.

7. They support each other

In marriage, you are supposed to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader.

When your partner does something great, no one is expected to cheer louder than you.

Couples who are truly happy in their marriage have realized one key fact; “You are not in a competition with your partner.”

If you think you are in a competition with your wife or husband, there is really no mystery to the reason for your unhappiness in marriage.

Couples are meant to support each other; even as they achieve their goals and aspirations, they are supposed to cheer each other on to greater heights.

Truly happy couples have made this a habit, and it is one reason their marriages are happy and successful.

8. They trust each other

Marriage to someone who doesn’t trust you can be hell!

You are constantly under scrutiny, and you almost feel like you are on the FBI’s most wanted criminals list.

You find that even the most innocent of your actions are usually given a darker meaning.

And if you are the distrustful one, you find that you can’t actually be happy.

You are never at peace because you have chosen to be distrustful of your partner.

You need peace, and you can only get this peace by doing what truly happy couples do.

They learn to trust each other implicitly.

They don’t just do this by expecting trust while behaving in any way they please.

Instead they do this by being transparent with each other.

Trust is not just expected in the relationships… it is earned.

Couples who are truly happy know this and strive to be transparent with themselves even as they expect trust from their partners.

9. They forgive each other

Really, no one is perfect in relationships.

It is not farfetched to assume that sometimes even the best partner would hurt you unintentionally.

Couples who are truly happy have developed a forgiving mindset to help them get through the issues that usually come up in marriages.

They understand that to love is to forgive.

There is no love without forgiveness.

So, when they forgive, they forgive wholeheartedly, holding nothing against their partners.

When couples don’t forgive each other fully, grudges and resentments usually build up, which may later lead to dire consequences for the marriage.

To be truly happy in your marriage, you must learn to be forgiving.

Really, marriage is not a stroll in the park.

However, some people are enjoying their marriages despite all the bleak tales we hear from other people.

The habits above are a sure way to enjoy a happy marriage, especially if your partner is willing to join you on this journey.