''He Has a Wife But Says He Loves Me'': 5 Things To Consider  - Olubunmi Mabel

”He has a wife but says he loves me!”

Infidelity is a complicated and sensitive topic, and we write a lot about it here on the blog.

When people picture infidelity, they often imagine a devilishly charming man whisking away a powerless woman in a whirlwind of passion.

We see it in movies and TV shows; the drama, the betrayal, and the heartbreak.

But the truth about infidelity isn’t always so black and white, and the people involved aren’t always so stereotypically villainous or virtuous.

Take, for example, the situation where a man already has a wife but claims to have fallen in love with you.

What does it mean?

Is it really love, or is it just a fantasy?

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve been in this situation a couple of times, and I wondered if those men truly loved me or if they wanted something else.

As women, we long for love and companionship.

It’s only natural to want to be loved and cherished by someone who makes us feel special.

But what if that someone is married?

It’s tempting to enter into a romantic relationship with a married man who professes his love for you, but before you bask in the attention, consider a few things.

”He Has a Wife But Says He Loves Me”: 5 Things To Consider 

1. The idea of “falling in love” is complex and subjective.

It means different things to different people, and it can be influenced by various factors.

Some may argue that true love knows no boundaries or labels, including marriage.

But others would argue that love should also be respectful, considerate, and loyal.

When a man says he loves you but has a wife, you need to understand the context of his words.

Is he truly in love with you, or is he simply infatuated?

Does he genuinely want to build a future with you, or is he just looking for a temporary escape from his marital problems?

Does he truly understand what he’s feeling, or is he just caught up in the thrill of the moment?

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of love being a magical force that can’t be controlled or explained.

But really, love is a complex interplay of emotions, chemistry, and social dynamics.

And regardless of your definition of love, the fact remains that it takes time to develop genuine feelings for someone.

Therefore, it’s crucial to question the authenticity of a man’s claim when he already has a wife.

2. The consequences of being in a relationship with a married man are far-reaching.

Aside from the potential backlash and judgment from society, there are emotional implications to think about as well.

So, even if you are not the type who cares about what people think, you should consider your own feelings.

Are you prepared to be in a relationship where you may have to hide or share your partner with another woman?

Are you willing to share his time, affection, and resources with another woman?

Are you willing to accept the possibility that he may never leave his wife for you, and always puts her first?

Can you handle being in a constant state of limbo, never knowing if and when this relationship will become something more?

Can you handle the guilt and pain that may arise if his wife finds out and gets hurt?

Can you handle the heartbreak if he decides to stay with his wife instead of choosing you?

These are difficult questions that require honest introspection.

3. He’s taken.

Yes, he may say he loves you, but he’s already committed to someone else.

If he’s willing to cheat on his wife with you, there’s a good chance he could cheat on you too.

Even if he leaves his wife for you, he’s starting a relationship with a foundation built on lies and deception.

It’s unlikely to end well.

Furthermore, if he truly loves you, why hasn’t he made the decision to leave his wife and be with you completely?

Is it because he’s not ready to give up his current life for a future with you?

Or is it because he’s just stringing you along for his own selfish desires?

4. Infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues in a relationship.

When someone cheats on their partner, it’s easy to label them as a selfish monster who doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings.

But the reality is often more complex than that.

Infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues in a relationship, such as a lack of communication, emotional disconnection, or unresolved conflicts.

While that doesn’t excuse the behavior, you need to find out why this man, who vowed to be there for his wife in good times and bad, chose to look outside the marriage for fulfillment.

Is there something missing in his relationship that he found in you?

Or is he just afraid of commitment and enjoys the thrill of sneaking around?

Understanding the root cause of his infidelity can help you make sense of the situation and decide on the best course of action for yourself.

5. Missed Opportunities

If you desire to be in a committed and monogamous relationship, then being with a married man who has no intentions of leaving his wife may prevent you from finding someone who can truly give you the love and commitment you deserve.

You could miss out on opportunities to find a healthy and fulfilling relationship because you are emotionally invested in someone already taken.

Furthermore, continuing this type of relationship may also hinder your personal growth and self-esteem, as you may start to question your worth and settle for less than what you truly deserve.

It’s not even funny.

Because one of the reasons women date married men is because they feel like they are not deserving of a committed relationship and settle for whatever attention they can get.

They fear being single and lonely forever, so being the other woman seems like a better option than being alone.

But the truth is, you are worthy of love and commitment from someone who is available and willing to fully commit to you.

So what should you do?

You can read 1001 blog posts on this topic, but at the end of the day, you are the only one who knows your heart and your situation and will make a decision.

Life is a matter of choices and consequences, and it’s up to you to decide what is best for your life.

Love should be pure, honest, and respectful, not a source of pain and guilt.

You know what I told those married men who claimed to love me?

I told them that if they didn’t love me, they were only attracted to me.

They loved their wives, their families, their lives.

I didn’t shame them as well. 

I know it’s possible to be attracted to someone else while in a committed relationship, but it’s important to acknowledge that attraction and then make the choice to either act on it or remain faithful.

Cheating is not love, it’s betrayal.

And if you truly love someone, you wouldn’t want to hurt them.

So my advice to you is this: take a step back and evaluate your feelings and actions towards this person.

Are they genuine?

Are they respectful?

Are they sustainable? 

Also, consider the impact of your actions on others, including your partner, their family, and yourself.

Is it worth risking all of that for temporary gratification?

Love should bring joy and fulfillment, not pain and regret.

So choose wisely and remember that true love requires commitment and responsibility from both parties.