How To Get Him To Ask You To Marry Him : 7 Calculated Steps - Olubunmi Mabel

When you are in love with a man and have been that way for quite some time, it is normal to envisage marriage.

Almost every young girl grows up dreaming about meeting that special man and getting married to him, courtesy of the Disney movies about handsome princes, their lovers, and happy ever afters.

If you specifically searched for this article, the chances are you have met that special man who means the world to you and with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

It should have been paradise on earth for you, but there’s just one little issue with your utopia, and that’s why you are presently reading this article.

Your special man is being a little too slow to take the relationship to the next level for your liking.

But you don’t know how to get him to ask you to marry you without appearing pushy or desperate.

How do you get him to ask you to marry him?

We will be considering several helpful tips in this article.

Come along, and let’s learn how to get him to ask you to marry him without appearing desperate;

How To Get Him To Ask You To Marry Him: 7 Calculated Steps 

Before getting into the helpful tips I have compiled just for you, I must start with this disclaimer…

You cannot force anyone to do anything against their will; even if you could, it would not be advisable.

Hence, these tips should only be applied in situations where your man already thinks you are the one for him but needs a little nudge in the right direction to get the relationship moving.

Let’s get started!

1. Show readiness for marriage

How do you know it’s mango season?

The mango trees start to produce mango fruits, and the fruits start to ripen on the tree.

The formerly green mango fruits suddenly change their color to luscious yellow or orange, and they start to fall off the tree.

What happened there was that the mangoes started to show readiness for eating from the tree by being ripe.

It is the same thing you need to adopt for your relationship.

Think of it as telling him you are ready for marriage without outrightly telling him you are ready.

Get it?

Show emotional and financial maturity.

Be purposeful and find joy in the things you are passionate about.

Also, be kind and affectionate to others.

Work on those character traits that need adjustment, and build character in preparation.

Embody what maturity and readiness look like and watch the lights finally go off in his head. 

2. Be indispensable and supportive

This is a surefire tip to get him to propose to you.

In recent times, men’s focus when choosing the women they want to marry has shifted to what women bring to the table.

Hence, most men propose to women that they consider important to their lives.

When we talk about what you bring to the table, we are not just talking about financial independence.

It also involves sound advice, intelligent conversations, support, and even expertise in preparing his favorite dish.

By providing all these, you would make yourself the most important person in his life.

When he finally realizes that he needs to settle down with a wife, you would be the only person on his mind because you have proven to be an important part of his life.

A great way to get your boyfriend to propose is when you are a highly valuable person in the relationship.

Be supportive without being a doormat.

The truth is that some guys hold back because they are not convinced, and you can’t blame them because marriage is a huge step.

However, if you are so valuable in the relationship and your presence screams “I gat you” to your boo each time, very soon he’ll be putting a ring on it.

Who doesn’t want valuable partners in their corner?

3. Don’t pressurize him!

I spoke to a mentee a few days ago and she has issues with her boyfriend because she feels he is getting cold feet about their wedding.

As soon as the relationship kicked off, he started out excited and announced they were getting married, but two months later, the dude started acting up and avoiding marriage talks.

Of course, she made it the focus of every conversation, which made him run even more.

That was a big mistake she made there!

If you want a guy to propose to you, it will be counterproductive to pressurize him.

Don’t talk about it always till he is nervous.

Don’t send him Instagram reels video links of weddings.

Chill!

Avoid talking about it even as you “show, not tell” him what to do.

I will explain this in the next point.

4. “Show not tell”

Actions speak louder than words.

There are actions that communicate the fact that a woman is ready for her own family.

Volunteer and work with kids at a center or participate in a family drive so he can see how you are with the children and families.

Babysit your nephews and nieces; let him see you doing it joyfully.

Be nurturing and caring to others.

I had a friend who was best at ‘mommying’ everyone!

She would check on who had not eaten, who needed groceries, who wasn’t feeling well.

In fact, at night, she would move around to check the windows to see if it was too breezy or if someone wasn’t well covered with their blankets and adjust them.

We all agreed that she was ‘one million yards of wife material’ (Nigerian lingo for – she had the perfect qualities of a wife)!

Show him that you are a ‘wife material’ by how loving, caring, and affectionate you are to people around you.

5. Stylishly communicate about the other suitors

Well, when mango is in season, everyone looks out to grab mango fruits from the tree.

It’s the survival of the fittest test of who gets the juiciest mangos.

My dear sister, a little jealousy won’t hurt.

Stylishly let him know or see that you have other suitors asking for your hand.

Some people are lax with what they have until there is the slightest threat that they may lose it.

If he feels like the only one knocking at your door and you have no options, he may drag things along.

However, if he realizes that other guys are checking you out and proposing to marry you, it might juggle him up and get him to propose after all.

This is not an encouragement to cheat.

You can accomplish this stylish nudge by jokingly telling him about a suitor that’s after your hand.

Or you stylishly talk about how you admire someone and what a great husband they would make.

6. Invest in your relationships

This is one thing ladies need to learn how to do even when they are desperately trying to get married.

Don’t lose yourself completely in the pursuit of a marriage proposal.

Marriage is an important part of life.

However, it doesn’t wholly define you as an individual.

If you constantly throw yourself at your guy and talk to him for long hours every day, it may be fun initially.

At some point, the whole thing may just lose its novelty and become tiring.

This is because you may be acting too desperate for him.

Make some plans to focus on yourself.

Get yourself involved in other activities that are independent of him.

You can’t afford to appear to be begging for love.

Invest in the relationships in your life, family, and friends.

Go alone on a vacation with your friends; “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” they say.

Invest in yourself and look good and fit.

These will make you irresistible, and he may start thinking about how to have you all to himself.

7. Drop hints about moving

This is the trump card.

Start talking about moving cities or countries and starting a new job or life.

This doesn’t have to come as a fight; remember we are only subtly leading him to propose, right?

If he truly cares about you, the reality of you moving will make him think and act on taking the relationship to the next level.

In conclusion, I’d like to clarify that these tips may not work for everyone or in every situation.

When a guy is dragging his feet in proposing, it may be for different reasons, and forcing his hand may not be the answer.

So you know, getting pregnant for a guy is one of the worst ways of trying to get him to propose.

Likewise, cheating on him.

Don’t even think having sex with him will change his mind either; premarital sex complicates matters.

Marriage is a big deal, and it is important for whoever wants to marry you to believe in what you both share.

If you feel like a guy is wasting your time and unready, you can call it quits and move on to someone else, but it is never worth forcing yourself on someone in marriage.

Remember, marriage is too long to be stuck to someone you love who doesn’t love you back.

Please choose wisely.

Cheers!