If You Want To Live A Happier Life Stop Tolerating These 12 Things - Olubunmi Mabel
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama
I’m a big advocate for people prioritizing their happiness.
As long as what you’re doing isn’t affecting anyone negatively in any way, if it makes you happy, do you, boo.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
Unfortunately, many things can attempt to stand in the way of your happiness or are already standing in its way.
It is your responsibility to stand your ground, take charge of your life, and stop tolerating them.
You may know them, or perhaps you didn’t even know before now, but I’m here to tell you today the things you need to stop tolerating to live a happier life.
1. Negative thoughts
Isn’t it interesting that the first thing you need to stop tolerating is not from other people but from yourself?
One of the biggest battles you’ll have to fight and win on your journey to happiness is the battle against negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts lead to a crushed spirit.
And what does the Bible say about a crushed spirit? – It dries up the bones.
When you have certain experiences in life, go through some difficult stuff, or deal with difficult people, your mind can become affected, leading to all sorts of negative thinking.
Unwholesome, demeaning, and self-sabotaging thoughts can spring up in your mind at different points.
But you need to get to the point where you say, “I’m done tolerating this.”
The longer you tolerate it, the greater the damage it does to you and your happiness.
2. Toxic people
“It’s okay to cut toxic people out of your life. It doesn’t mean you hate them; it means you love yourself.” — Unknown
Only a few things can deplete your happiness level like toxic people.
They sap out every juice of happiness in your life.
If you are around toxic people and think you are happy, try being away from them for some time and notice how significantly your happiness will increase.
Toxic people constantly bring negativity into your life.
The interesting part is that they’re not only enemies or distant acquaintances; they could be friends or even family sometimes.
Whether it’s a friend who constantly criticizes you or a partner who drains your energy, cutting ties with toxic people will create space for positive relationships.
Imagine finally saying goodbye to that friend who only calls to complain and never supports you or that boss who pushes you around and never has a positive word to say.
Or even that family member or in-law who demeans and abuses you.
As Steve Maraboli said, “Letting go means realizing that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
3. Overworking
Imagine waking up every morning dreading the day ahead, knowing you’ll spend hours trying to meet impossible expectations with little to no appreciation in return.
It can wear out even the most resilient person, draining your energy and leaving you feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.
When work becomes all-consuming, you start losing touch with the things that make life joyful, such as spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying a quiet moment of peace.
Overworking or working in a toxic environment can feel like you’re caught in an endless cycle, where no matter how much effort you put in, it’s never enough.
My friend Sarah used to work long hours in a high-pressure job with a boss who was never satisfied.
Every mistake she made was amplified, and every achievement was brushed aside.
Over time, she began to feel like she was walking on eggshells, afraid to mess up, constantly on the edge.
The stress seeped into her personal life; she stopped going out with friends, started missing family events, and suffered from sleeplessness.
Even though she was working hard, she wasn’t truly living.
It took Sarah a while to realize that the environment was toxic and was slowly stripping away her happiness.
Letting go of overworking or a toxic work environment is an act of self-love and self-preservation.
It’s about reclaiming your time, mental health, and sense of purpose.
The moment Sarah made the difficult decision to leave her job, she found work in a more supportive setting, and it felt like a weight had lifted.
She had time for herself again, felt appreciated, and could finally breathe without the constant pressure.
Life is too short to spend it in places that diminish you.
When you let go of environments that suffocate your well-being, you make space for real happiness and fulfillment to grow.
Don’t just up and leave without a plan and an awareness of what you’re doing.
But prepare your mind to leave.
4. Self sabotaging habits
Self-sabotaging habits, such as unhealthy eating, negative self-talk, procrastination, lack of sleep, and neglect of self-care, are often the silent culprits behind feeling stuck or unhappy.
It’s easy to fall into these habits without even realizing the impact they have on your overall well-being.
These habits chip away at your physical and mental health, slowly creating a cycle where you feel worse but don’t know how to stop.
Letting go of these self-sabotaging habits is crucial for a happier, healthier life.
When you start making small changes like cooking simple, nutritious meals, working out, ditching procrastination, practicing kindness toward yourself, and setting aside time for rest, you will feel a shift.
You will have more energy, feel more confident, reduce anxiety, and begin to see the positive in yourself and your life.
The truth is, the way you treat yourself sets the tone for everything else.
Releasing those harmful habits is like removing a roadblock to your happiness, once it’s gone, you can move forward and enjoy life more fully.
5. Settling for less
Settling for less may seem safe and comfortable until your mind confronts you with the reality of what would have been had you not settled.
You create space for dissatisfaction and potential regret when you settle for less than you can get or less than you deserve.
You need to stop tolerating less than you deserve, whether in relationships, work, or life in general.
Stop tolerating a life that doesn’t include your passions or the things that make you happy.
Ignoring these things can lead to a life that feels empty or routine.
Maybe it’s time to reignite your passion for that hobby or dream you put on hold and feel fulfilled by what truly excites you again.
6. Saying yes when you mean no
Over-committing is a one-way trip to stress.
I used to be uncomfortable saying no to people’s offers and requests.
I always said yes, even when I meant no, which resulted in situations I didn’t want to be in.
This indirectly comes from a place of people pleasing or living for validation.
Perhaps I should talk about those too.
You need to free yourself from the cage and bondage of wanting to please everyone, especially when it comes at the expense of your happiness.
Stop tolerating the need for others’ approval to feel good about yourself.
Constantly seeking validation from others can prevent you from living authentically.
People-pleasing can lead to feeling resentful and unappreciated.
Imagine confidently saying no when you need to, and feeling good about prioritizing your own needs and happiness.
That’s a healthier way to live.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and only take on what you can handle, leaving room for what truly matters to you.
7. Grudges
If we’re to be realistic and honest, no one on earth can completely avoid conflicts.
There are bound to be some disagreements between you and other people, whether at work, school or even at home.
People can be super annoying, and that’s okay because you’re not perfect yourself.
But that is why you need to develop the ability to let go of grudges easily.
Stop tolerating grudges and resentments; they’re not good for you or your happiness.
Lingering tension with friends, family, or colleagues can weigh you down and only harm you in the long run.
There is a relief that comes with addressing issues directly, finding resolution, and moving forward without the baggage of unresolved feelings.
Imagine the lightness that comes with letting go of grudges, forgiving others (and yourself), and moving forward without the weight of old resentments.
It’s bliss.
8. Clutter
I used to be one of those people who always kept stuff even when I didn’t need them anymore just because “What if I need them someday?”
Let me just say that sometimes, this behavior comes from a mindset of scarcity and the fear of not having enough.
You need to lift your mind and believe that you’ll get everything you need when you need it, and a life of abundance does not necessarily involve stacking up old cans and boxes.
Stop tolerating clutter in your living space.
A cluttered environment can lead to a cluttered mind.
Clarity and calm come from organizing your space.
Everything will have its place, and you’re not constantly overwhelmed by the mess.
9. Unhealthy comparison
One of my favorite Bible verses is the one that says that you’re not wise when you compare yourself with others.
Social media and society can make it easy to feel like you’re not measuring up, but everyone’s journey is different.
You need to stop putting up with the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Focus on your progress and celebrate your unique path without constantly looking at what others are doing.
10. Not taking responsibility
Constantly blaming others for unpleasant events in your life may feel good in the moment, but it’s bad in the long term.
While others may play a role, taking responsibility empowers you to make changes.
You become empowered when you take control of your life and know that you can change what’s not working.
Stop allowing yourself to blame others for your circumstances all the time.
It’ll make you angry and entitled, and neither of these breed happiness.
11. Fear
Fear torments.
When you become afraid of anything whatsoever, you make yourself a slave.
One common fear that affects people’s happiness is the fear of failure.
Failure is a part of growth, not something to avoid at all costs.
You need to stop embracing the phobia for it.
You deserve to live a life void of the worry of perfection.
Embrace challenges with a mindset of learning and growth, and get rid of the fear of failure that holds you back from trying new things.
12. Comfort zone
Comfort zones are nice and cozy.
But they’re not always the best.
Why?
Because they confine you.
You end up living a less exciting and fulfilling life when you stay in your place of comfort.
Growth happens when you step out and take risks.
Trying new things, meeting new people, and discovering strengths you never knew you had.
You create excitement and fulfillment for yourself.
Don’t be afraid of ditching your comfort zone sometimes.
Sometimes you have to let go of some things to truly be happy.
Living a happier life often means letting go of things that weigh you down or hold you back in life.
