Too Soon to be Forgiven?
When it comes to the question—is it too late to be forgiven? —the Bible does have a wonderful answer, especially for those whose sins are many and whose remaining days are few. But it also has a very practical and insightful answer to what also may be a relevant question, is it too soon to forgive?
This question arises when remorse is absent and there's no hint of a changed life. Yes, I get it, a Christian should be predisposed to forgive; Jesus' words to Peter about seven times seventy make that point clear. Yet, those words are misinterpreted if we think forgiveness is an automatic until we get to the magic number of 491. It is not automatic, ever. There are conditions.
Jesus' words on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” have been misinterpreted if we think everyone on Calvary's hill went home forgiven that day. They did not.
If we examine the text more clearly, these words about forgiveness appear to refer to the soldiers working the crucifixion detail. It should be noted that only Luke reports Jesus saying these words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Then in this same verse we read, “They parted his garments, and cast lots.” So the “they” in the last part of the verse is the “them” in the first part of the verse, the Roman soldiers.
These words do not refer to those who systematically schemed for Jesus to suffer, to those who plotted and participated in this plan to murder the Messiah. Check the biblical record and you will see that there were previous attempts to get him off the planet. They knew what they were doing! This wasn't an "oopsie" mistake.
Confession
If we aren't clear about the conditions necessary for forgiveness, we may very well forgive too soon.
One condition necessary for offering forgiveness is confession. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Do you see the principle? Forgiveness follows confession.
The Greek word for “confession,” homologeo, means “to say the same thing as.” This is an important insight to have; because while the Lord does want our repentance to be real, confession wasn’t designed to invite self-loathing, or to occasion some sort of emotional work where the dam finally breaks and the tears begin to gush.
The most important part of a confession is that we would agree with God about what we’ve done. True confession will clearly identify the wrong confessed. However, there are several examples of supposed confession that fail to do this.
Counterfeit Confessions
Perhaps the most common example of that is people interpreting an apology to mean saying, "I'm sorry." But just saying “I’m sorry” isn’t good enough. King Saul said that. Judas said that. Hell is going to be filled with people who said that. But remaining to be answered still is the question: sorry for what? Sorry that you were caught? Sorry that others are upset with you? Sorry for all the tension in the atmosphere?
Besides, if you say, “I'm sorry," what is the person who hears these words supposed to say? “That's all right”? But that’s not all right. Don't you see? Speaking this way leads to an incomplete transaction.
Another counterfeit confession is: “I'm sorry if I offended you." But how can a confession floating on the gray cloud of “if” do any good? Either you did do something wrong and there should be no if. Or you didn't do anything wrong, so there's no reason to confess. Either way, take the word if out of there.
Still another counterfeit confession is confession by wholesale whereby we confess multiple sins generally and no sin specifically. This can occur as a tack-on to prayer when we close it out by saying lickety split is: “And forgive us all our sins. In Jesus' name. Amen.”
Whoa! Slow down. Which sins? Committed when? And against whom? Enough of these omnibus confessions! This is nothing more than a “ten-four," a “Roger", an “Over and out," a wind up of prayer robotically uttered without touching the heart. Do you honestly think God is going to forgive anything when someone rattles off words like these?
Such halfway repentance can be discerned in many confessions, a fact that prompted Thomas Watson to observe: “They are but half-turned who turn from many sins but are unturned from some special sin.”1
Forsaking
Another prerequisite condition for forgiveness is an expressed willingness to forsake that for which you are seeking forgiveness. In Proverbs 28:13 we read, “... whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” So whenever we lay out what we did before God, we must be ready to walk away from it. Because, unless we do, the integrity of our confession is seriously undermined.
Those with a soft, sentimental view of God may think a simple apology is good enough, and that what prompted it and what follows it doesn’t matter. True, Jesus conveyed tenderness in his willingness to forgive the woman caught in adultery. But he also conveyed a truth many have chosen to ignore when he said, “go and sin no more.”
Did he really mean that? Indeed, he did! Because in him, there is a power to obey. Accordingly, within us, there must be the willingness to tap into that power.
The words “go and sin no more” are not an inconsequential postscript to this story. One commentary stipulates, “We cannot be cleansed from the sin to which we secretly resolve to cling. There must be nothing hidden in our life, no unavowed ends, no reserves … Insincerity, the dark atmosphere in which so many souls live”2 must be brought to the light.
The verse that says that “the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (I John 1:7) is not a stand-alone truth. It begins with the precondition “if we walk in the light.” But here’s the point: No one can walk in the light without confessing what the light reveals! One commentator observed, “Many a man confesses the sin he has done, and knows that he is going to do it again … it is in his inmost desire.”3 And if that be the case, then the confession itself is still shrouded in darkness—preventing forgiveness!
The most important part of a confession is that we would agree with God about what we’ve done and what we should now do—and then be willing to follow his leading.
Isaiah 59:2 tells the story well: “… your iniquities have separated you from your God.” Moreover, Psalm 66:18 warns, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear.” Oh, in terms of sounds and syllables he will, but in terms of a willingness to respond, he won’t! Protected and protracted sin keeps God from doing what he really wants to do for us, and in us.
Welcomed sin proves supposed forgiveness to be a sham.
Receiving
Another reason forgiveness should be withheld is if there is no sign the offender wants it. Many do not. And the reason they do not is because they don't want to admit their guilt. Prisons are full of people who deny they did anything wrong. People will stand stout against the standard sin violates and openly defy the God sin offends!
Many years ago, this principle actually became a point of law in our country. In 1829 George Wilson was sentenced to die because of a murder he had committed. Andrew Jackson, the President of the United States, gave George Wilson a full pardon, but for some strange reason (no one ever knew why), George Wilson refused the pardon. Wilson’s subsequent refusal posed a problem: What was the government supposed to do—let Wilson go, or hang him?
Wilson contended that a pardon wasn’t a pardon unless it was received. Since this point of law had never been raised in American jurisprudence, the case was sent to the Attorney General of the United States for review. The Attorney General decided the law was silent on this issue. Accordingly, he urged the President to send the case to the Supreme Court, which the President did.
In the landmark decision that followed Chief Justice John Marshall, one of the ablest jurist to ever sit on the bench, wrote: “A pardon is a piece of paper, the value of which depends on its acceptance by the person implicated. It is hardly to be supposed that one under sentence of death would refuse to accept a pardon, but if it is refused, it is no pardon. George Wilson must hang.”
George Wilson, it should be noted, is not the exception we might think, for there are many who stiff-arm forgiveness. Why? Because they, too, refuse to acknowledge their need for it. In this respect, Lily Tomlin had it right when she observed, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”
Again, in order for there to be forgiveness, there must be both a forsaking (of what was wrong) and a receiving (of the sought-after pardon). This is a transaction that, for closure’s sake, must be undertaken in a clear and exact manner. Any offer of forgiveness absent these conditions of confessing, forsaking, and receiving is of no effect. It came too soon.
Notes:
- Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance, Kindle locations: 566-567.
- The Speaker’s Bible, The Pastoral Epistles, The Johannine Epistles, Edward Hastings, ed., (Aberdeen, Scotland, Morrison and Gibb Ltd., 1942), p.133.
- Ibid. p.132.
