What It Means When Your Husband Lies To You - Olubunmi Mabel

Believe me when I say nobody likes being lied to, and I actually mean nobody.

It’s more painful when someone you trust enough to be your better half now decides to lie to your face, and you later find out.

It breaks you down to the very core of your body, soul, and spirit.

There’s nothing more disheartening than when you’re being lied to by your partner.

It shatters your trust in them and also messes you up mentally, leaving you with many questions as to why they lied to you.

Although there has always been a debate about who lies more in a relationship, men or women.

Women believe that they are smooth operators, while men think that they are more impressive liars based on their sweet-talking skillset.

I don’t have any idea why anyone thinks lying is a good thing in the first place, so don’t bother asking me why either of both genders think such is something to brag about.

So let’s focus on why your husband might have taken to lying to you.

1. Low Self-Esteem

This right here is a reason all by itself.

When a grown-ass man lacks confidence in himself, he’s bound to lie about a whole lot of stuff.

This is because it makes him feel like he has some power over the situation and that he’s in control.

This can stem from various reasons such as childhood trauma, past failures, or simply societal pressures to appear “perfect.”

Some married men tend to lie to their wives because they don’t want to be criticized about what they do.

They fear that their wives will see them as weak or incompetent if they reveal their true selves.

This fear can also manifest in a need to maintain a certain image, even if it means being dishonest.

So whenever their wife asks them why they are acting a certain way or tries to chastise them, they either take offense or try to avoid the conversation, lying to feel good about themselves or making an excuse.

2. Unappreciated Gestures

Just like women, men want to feel appreciated and valued in their relationships.

Listen, men love to be praised by their partners.

One common scenario is when a man does something helpful or thoughtful for his partner, but it goes completely unnoticed.

For example, he may take care of household chores without being asked or remember an important date that is significant to both of them.

When these gestures are not acknowledged or praised, it can make the man feel unimportant and taken for granted.

On the other hand, some men may try to gain validation from their partners through their accomplishments.

They want their wives to notice and praise their hard work because it makes them feel important and valued.

When these gestures are met with indifference or criticism, it can deeply hurt the man.

Responsible men mostly want to share their successful effort to grow with their wives, not because they seek validation from them but simply because their opinion matters and it’s all they look forward to.

A man becomes a pathological liar, most especially if his wife belittles his efforts all the time.

3. Trust Issues

You see when a man doesn’t trust his own wife anymore, he’d lie to her.

You’d agree when I say we’ve all lied to someone we don’t trust just for them to let us be.

So do husbands who don’t trust their wives.

Although it doesn’t necessarily have to be infidelity, it can be financial distrust due to his wife’s spending habits or something else that he doesn’t trust her on.

I know you might be thinking, why should anyone marry someone they don’t trust or remain married to someone who broke their trust?

Well, on this, I don’t have the answer too.

It just happens, and rather than leave their partner and start all over again, they just decide not to trust their wife and just lie to them whenever the need arises.

4. An Unfaithful Wife

Unfaithful partners tend to feel entitled to faithfulness from their spouse and constitute a nuisance to that spouse.

Yes, this one has to do with infidelity.

Infidelity isn’t something either party in a marriage will ever tolerate.

And mostly, men rarely forgive a cheating partner.

Men are also victims of infidelity from their spouses, too, you know, and unfortunately, the ones I’ve seen on this table are the good ones I know to be upright.

When they find out about the whole cheating thing, at times, some just lie to their wives till they are fully prepared to leave that marriage.

5. A Nagging Wife

When a woman nags too much, she’s lied to on a daily basis.

No one likes a person who nags.

Even those who nag don’t like their fellow nagging fellows; they try to avoid them.

Some women can’t listen to their spouse without finding faults in his words and then making a problem of the whole conversation.

When this happens a lot, men tend to learn how to lie and perfect the act.

Since peace of mind comes before anything for most men who are husbands

I’ve seen men walk out of relationships and marriages based on this reason, while some just avoid their wives and they’d rather hang out with the boys instead.

When a woman doesn’t control her nagging, her husband will either leave her or lie to her.

6. Over-worrying 

I once heard a man at the gas station on the phone tell the other person on the line he’d rather die than tell his wife the truth about what truly happened and that he’d lie about the whole thing simply because she worries too much.

This might seem unrealistic, but it’s one reason men lie to their spouses.

It’s actually very disturbing to know that when you tell your partner something that you have absolutely under control, but just because you would like to carry your wife along, tell her what’s going on, she starts to panic.

Then, even when you get into tougher situations and her instincts tell her something is wrong, rather than trying to work it out, most men might lie to avoid getting their wives agitated or worried.

7. Infidelity

When a man starts to see someone else, he will definitely lie to cover his tracks, and unfortunately, he will gradually begin to need more lies to keep his infidelity going.

One of the attributes of a cheating partner is that he tells unrelated lies; this is a general thing.

He’d lie about his whereabouts, finances, and how he has more work to cover at work.

He becomes a perpetual liar when he wants to eat his cake and still have it in one piece.

The funny thing is that when they are caught, they begin to beg for forgiveness—lying infidels.

8. He Lacks Morals

You can be very sure that a man lacking morals would disrespect his wife by lying to her without considering the irreparable effect his actions might have. 

A cheating partner has no moral compass or sense of right and wrong in their actions.

They will justify their behavior by blaming it on their spouse or the state of their relationship instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.

Their lack of morals also extends to how they treat others; they may manipulate and use people without any regard for their feelings.

10. Immaturity

Mostly, when an immature man gets married and doesn’t know how to handle situations, they lie about it rather than face the situation with the truth.

No one says it’s easy to tell the truth at all times, but it’s always the best and only option that gives permanent peace of mind.

An immature man, due to their inexperience in how to navigate their way through marriage, might constantly lie to his wife. 

He may tell her he’s working late when he’s actually out with friends or that he forgot to pay a bill when he spent the money on something else.