Speak of women submitting to their husbands in marriage, and you may just have about a billion women calling for your head, served on a gold platter or any platter at all.
Submission in marriage has become a volatile issue in our times, and while it may be partly because women are fighting back against anything that even slightly suggests control.
It is also because, over the years, many men have lost sight of what it is to be a man that is worthy of submission.
Actually, for a very long time, men have lost this knowledge.
It is so pronounced in our times because women’s empowerment is at the highest point ever in the civilized world, which is a positive thing.
However, there is so much tension in our families… so much friction.
If you are a man who is intentional about dealing with this tension, then you need to regain that lost knowledge.
Lucky for you, I know the right place to find it.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” – Ephesians 5:22… The Bible.
Getting your wife to submit is not just about thumping the Bible and quoting this verse.
The answer lies in that same portion of the Bible.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” – Ephesians 5:25.
On this note, we will be considering what makes a woman submit to a man.
What Makes A Woman Submit To A Man? 6 Things To Make Your Wife Submit To You
If Apostle Paul were in this generation, I am sure he would write a scathing letter to many men.
The letter would probably take this form;
“Dear men, cavalry greetings unto you from the church in New York.
I have heard grievous tales from among you.
I have heard that tenderness is now so scarce a commodity that the few men who are tender to their wives are called simps.
I have heard that you have followed the ways of that new group who call themselves “alpha males.”
They believe that submission can be achieved without showing love.
Well, submission can be gotten by force, but it is not true submission if it is enforced by fear.
Tell me, in what way are you different from the dictators who ruled their subjects from behind the scope of a sniper rifle?
Dear men, return to the true creed.
Submission is not gotten by force.
Love your wives as Christ loved the Church even unto death.”
That’s just my imagination working in overdrive, but we have come to a dire point in our society.
It is becoming fashionable for men to call themselves alpha males and demand submission from their wives without giving anything in return.
The vexing part is that these guys have attained some sort of control over the women they are with.
This may make it look like their method is working, but any form of submission gotten by manipulation or force is no submission at all.
Treat your wives with tenderness if you want true submission.
Compliment her regularly….Her beauty, her character, her cooking.
Always find something about her that you are grateful for.
It may take a while, but you will soon find out that you have a wife who is submissive to you.
A man who should be trusted with a woman’s submission is a man who totally loves her.
There is no middle ground when it comes to love and submission.
Even the Bible is clear on this.
The Bible says that husbands should love their wives to the point that they can die for them.
It is only at this point that you truly deserve her submission.
So, show that you love her.
This doesn’t have to be expressed in ceremonious actions.
You can show that you love her even with your smallest actions.
Randomly text her during the day to check up on her and show her that you are thinking of her.
Write notes to her, telling her how much you love her.
Hold her hands in public… and show everyone how happy you are to have her in your life.
Give her random, thoughtful gifts.
These little actions go a long way in showing how much you love her.
3. Listen to her
Many people don’t know how to truly listen to others.
One thing that inspires a woman’s submission is knowing that her opinion is valued in the relationship.
There is this tendency for men to make decisions without informing their wives.
This is wrong.
By doing this, you are telling your wife that you don’t value her opinions.
If you treat her this way, you shouldn’t be so surprised if she makes important decisions without informing you, too.
After all, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
You must know that actions begets consequences, and the consequences of not listening to your wife is definitely not submission.
You can expect defiance and anger, conflict and friction all the time.
You need to learn to listen to your woman.
Listen while she speaks without interrupting her, and don’t just bob your head while your mind is elsewhere… she will know.
Listening to her makes her realize you love and respect her opinions.
It will also help her trust you enough to submit to you.
4. Provide security and stability
Everyone desires security and stability.
However, it may seem like women desire it more than men.
This need for security plays a pivotal role in determining relationship dynamics.
If a woman feels secure in her relationship with you, she will have no issues being submissive to you because she knows that you won’t ever intentionally do anything to hurt her.
Emotional security is an essential need for women in relationships.
If she feels secure enough to be vulnerable with you without fear that you will exploit her weakness, she will find it easier to be submissive to you.
All these still come back to loving your wife.
If you love your wife the same way you love yourself, she will understand that no harm will ever come to her if she submits to you.
5. Show excellent leadership qualities
So, you want your wife to submit to you?
One of the first things you need to do is show you have excellent leadership qualities.
And by leadership, I don’t mean rulership; they are two different things.
Are you the type of man who prefers to sit down and command everybody?
Are you the commando of your family?
If this is your ‘leadership’ style, your wife will never submit to you.
Leadership in marriage should be by example.
Start by mastering self-leadership, and then continue to lead by showing.
Prove yourself as a visionary and dynamic leader.
To lead in your marriage, you must first show yourself as a good servant.
Serve your wife first and see if she won’t submit to your leadership in the family.
6. Adopt effective communication to settle conflicts
This is very important.
No woman wants to submit to a man who holds grudges and keeps malice in the relationship.
Effective communication is very important in relationships not only because it helps couples settle conflicts but also because it signifies that they are mature.
Adopting effective communication to resolve conflicts in the relationship is a major way of proving to your woman that you deserve her submission.
Effective communication doesn’t just help in resolving conflicts.
It also helps both couples feel heard and valued in the relationship.
Ultimately, submission cannot be forced, nor is it acquired by virtue of your status as a husband.
You need to prove yourself worthy of submission.
To end this, I leave you all with the ultimate proof of what you need to do to deserve submission according to the Bible…
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband”– Ephesians 5: 33.