When A Married Man Never Talks About His Wife: 10 Things It Means - Olubunmi Mabel

Marriage isn’t a secret affair.

Well, as long as you are not secretly married, that is.

When two people have stayed together for so long, they become part of each other, and this is reflected in how they talk about each other to others.

While some married men talk so freely about their wives, some don’t volunteer information, but here and there, they drop hints about their wives.

However, if you’ve ever met a man who NEVER talks about his wife, then this strange phenomenon is worthy of a Sherlock Holmes investigation.

Put on your detective hats, and let’s demystify the mystery of what it means when a married man never talks about his wife.

1. They Lack Of Emotional Connection

You know how it is when you are in love with someone?

You can’t stop talking about them to whoever would listen.

That’s because you have a deep emotional connection with them and constantly want to share your joys, fears, and everything in between.

And being married doesn’t mean this feeling goes away.

The mere sight of your spouse can brighten your day, and you want to tell the world about it.

So, if a married man never talks about his wife, it could be a sign that they lack emotional connection because sometimes, silence screams the loudest.

If there’s nothing worth sharing about his wife, it could mean nothing is going on between them.

2. He’s Afraid Of Judgment

In today’s society, people can be quick to judge and criticize, especially when it comes to relationships.

Hello, cancel culture!

A married man may avoid discussing his wife to avoid unwanted opinions or comments.

He could be afraid of being judged for how he talks about her or for not talking about her enough.

The social media trolls won’t stop trolling, so he may as well keep his wife and marriage away from their radar.

3. He’s Not Proud of Their Relationship

“If I can’t boast about it, I might as well not bring it up.”

Some men may feel this way about their marriage.

They may not be proud of their wife/relationship for various reasons, and therefore, don’t mention it at all.

You wonder why a man won’t be proud of his wife? 

Well, it can be caused by anything: low self-esteem, unmet expectations, financial and educational differences, and a lack of love, to mention a few.

A man may intentionally keep his wife away from conversations because of her physical appearance or bodily shape.

I know a weight loss coach who never celebrates his wife because she is fat; her physique makes him feel ashamed because of his line of work.

The wife, on the other hand, doesn’t care either.

4. He’s Trying To Maintain A Certain Image

In today’s world, there’s a lot of pressure to maintain an image, whether it’s on social media or in real life.

A married man may purposely avoid talking about his wife to seem more attractive and desirable to others.

This could be especially common for men who are still in the dating scene despite being married or have a large following on social media.

Talking about their spouse could be seen as a “turn-off” to some, so they choose not to mention them at all.

5. He’s Keeping His Options Open

Unfortunately, infidelity is not uncommon in marriages, and we have written a lot about it here.

A married man who never talks about his wife may keep his options open for potential affairs.

In the past, a married man could simply be identified by the ring on his finger, but those days are gone.

Now, we hear harrowing tales of married men who trick single ladies into their beds under the guise of being a fellow single pringle.

So maybe the married man who never talks about his wife is like a chameleon in disguise looking to sow his wild oats.

Also, when a man’s eye starts wandering, he might tactfully omit his wife from discussions.

Not mentioning his wife could open the door for potential interests and flirting without feeling guilty.

Some men enjoy the attention they get from other women, and not mentioning their wives gives them the opportunity to receive that attention without feeling like they’re doing anything wrong.

5. He’s Avoiding Comparisons

Comparison is a human thing.

We tend to compare our lives, relationships, jobs, and everything in between with others.

A married man may avoid talking about his wife because he doesn’t want her to be compared with other wives or relationships.

He may worry that she won’t measure up or receive criticism from others.

He may also just do it out of being loving and protective.

It’s just like what you do to something very valuable to you; you guard it jealously.

Perhaps this is why he never speaks of her; he is guarding her jealously, and can you blame him?

It’s his wife, after all!

6. He’s Not Comfortable Talking About Personal Matters

Some people are naturally private and don’t feel comfortable sharing personal details with others, even if it’s their spouse.

A married man may fall under this category and choose not to discuss his wife out of respect for their privacy.

Someone like my husband rarely talks about me on social media, but he tells his friends and colleagues about me, especially what I do.

Yeah, he posts me on his social media on my birthday, but that’s about it, and I am okay with that because he talks about me to people who matter in real life.

He said he likes his privacy, and I respect that.

Similarly, he may decide to keep his wife and family life a secret because he believes it’s nobody’s business.

7. He Believes Actions Speak Louder Than Words

A married man may believe that showing love and affection through actions is more important than talking about it.

Some people even say those who constantly talk about their wives make the worst husbands.

I once heard the story of a violent husband who always posed as a most caring husband online.

It was all a façade!

He was on the verge of killing the said woman, but he knew how to pretend for the paparazzi.

The pronounced pretentiousness of social media may be why a married man makes his wife his best-kept secret.

8. He Focuses On Individuality

Sometimes, it’s all about maintaining a sense of self.

You’ve probably seen those couples who seem like they’ve morphed into a single person—they dress alike, talk alike, and you can’t invite one without the other kind of deal.

Well, not everyone is into that.

A married man may choose not to talk about his wife simply because he wants to be seen as his own person.

9. Due To Cultural And Societal Norms

In some circles, men talking about their wives is as rare as a unicorn sighting.

Whether it’s cultural conditioning or societal pressures, lips stay sealed.

This guides how they conduct themselves, and so they never talk about their wife or wives.

10. The Dynamics Of Your Relationship With Him  

Well, there are levels to relationships.

I heard someone once breaking relationships into three.

The third level comprises everyone else: neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, business clients, etc.

The second level comprises business partners, close friends, and some family members.

The final and first level is for spouses, family members, and closest and trusted friends.

Every level of relationship has accompanying levels of access to the person, but the closest you can get to the person is the first level.

Perhaps you feel he doesn’t talk about his wife because you are not close enough for him to share personal issues.

You may be the one assuming that he doesn’t talk about his wife; he may not feel safe enough to share with you, but maybe he shared with his trusted friends.

If his relationship with you is mainly platonic, he has no reason to share private or personal things with you.

It’s best to stay within the confines of your relational boundaries with people.

In conclusion, not every married man who doesn’t talk about their wives is looking to cheat; some just love their privacy, have introverted personalities, or are just being protective of their family.

If the man in question is a public figure, then that should explain better why he would want to keep his business away from the prying eyes of the public.

And there is absolutely wrong with keeping your family business private.

Unless he is trying to be sneaky and pursue a relationship while married.