When Your Husband Walks Away During a Fight:10 Things It Means - Olubunmi Mabel

You already know that fights are normal in a marriage, right?

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. 

By fights, I don’t mean physical altercations (although those should never be tolerated) where everyone is throwing punches and breaking things.

I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, and conflicts that arise from time to time in any relationship.

What if your husband walks away from you during one of your fights? 

Ouch.

I wouldn’t like that. 

Because, what am I supposed to do with my anger?

I’d want him to stay and hash it out with me. 

So, if, in the middle of a heated argument with your husband, he walks away.

Or he has a habit of walking away whenever things get tough between you two.

What does it mean? 

Let’s see.

When Your Husband Walks Away During a Fight: 10 Things It Means

1. He Needs Time to Cool Down

This is one of the main reasons anyone, even the gentlest person, would walk away during an argument.

Emotions are running high; sometimes, a break is needed to calm down and reason.

Imagine trying to cool down when the person you are arguing with is right in your face, yelling or crying.

It’d be overwhelming and make it difficult to think clearly.

So, just like when we feel really angry and need time alone to calm down, your husband may walk away during a fight because he needs to cool down.

He needs space to gather his thoughts and emotions to regain composure.

He is not necessarily trying to ignore you or be mean.

And it doesn’t mean he’s brushing off the issue or doesn’t care.

When he feels calmer, he’ll be able to talk to you better.

2. He Wants to Avoid Saying Hurtful Things

Words are like eggs; once they’re broken, you can’t put them back together.

I remember someone telling me she remembered all the hurtful things her husband said to her when they were newly married, even after ten years.

It takes some skill and self-control not to say something you’ll regret in the heat of the moment.

And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we may still say something hurtful when our emotions are running high.

Your husband walking away during a fight could be his way of avoiding saying things he can’t take back.

He doesn’t want to hurt you or damage your relationship with words said out of anger or frustration.

So, instead, he chooses to walk away rather than risk saying something that could cause lasting damage, and I think that’s noble.

One of the things that cause irreparable damage to friendships and relationships is the hurtful things we say to each other in moments of anger.

You may settle your fights and even forget what caused them, but those hurtful words may still linger in your spouse’s heart.

3. He Needs Time to Process

Unlike us women, most men need time to process their thoughts and feelings before discussing them.

Women tend to be more verbal and process information by talking it out, while men often think before they speak.

So, when you’re upset and want to talk about it right away, your husband may need some time to think first.

Walking away during an argument could give him that much-needed space and time to process his emotions and return ready to have a productive conversation with you.

There’s no point in forcing a discussion if your husband is not mentally ready for it.

4. He Wants to Show You Respect

While you might be mad that your husband walked out on you during a fight, it could actually be his way of showing you respect.

He doesn’t want to continue arguing with you when your emotions are running high and risk saying hurtful things or, God forbid, raising a hand on you, especially if you are annoying.

So, he walks away to show that he values you and your relationship enough to avoid escalating the situation.

I’m not trying to justify bad behavior, but one of the reasons some gentlemen hit women is because they don’t know how else to handle a heated argument where the woman is not backing down.

Walking away is a much more respectful and safer option.

5. He Feels Overwhelmed

I don’t like feeling overwhelmed.

That’s why I outsource tasks and delegate as much as I can.

Feeling overwhelmed makes me feel tired and helpless.

If there’s a feeling that accompanies arguments, it’s the feeling of overwhelm.

When we’re in a heated argument, it can get too much.

Life is hard already.

Adulting is not a walk in the park.

Even marriage, as beautiful as it is, has its challenges.

God help you if you have kids, then you have to deal with the stress of parenting.

On top of all these, throw in an argument, and things can quickly spiral out of control.

Some people just need to take a step back and breathe before discussing the issue at hand.

Your husband walking away during an argument could be his way of taking that necessary break to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

6. He Feels Attacked or Criticized

Nobody likes feeling attacked or criticized.

It makes us feel defensive and unwilling to listen or engage in a conversation.

Even though you might have a good point, your husband may shut down and walk away if your delivery comes off as attacking or criticizing.

He might think there’s no point in arguing with you because you’re not listening to him, either.

7. He Doesn’t Want Things to Escalate

You know the next best to thing to preventing a fight?

Stopping it from escalating.

Walking away could be your husband’s way of preventing the argument from escalating into a full-blown shouting match.

It takes a strong person to recognize when things are starting to escalate and take the necessary steps to diffuse the situation.

Not everyone likes confrontation or conflict, and your husband may be one of those people.

8. He Wants to Preserve Peace

Some people simply hate conflict and will do anything to avoid it.

I don’t like confrontation and always try to find peaceful solutions to problems.

Your husband may be the same way and choose to walk away during a fight because he values peace in your relationship.

He knows how destructive arguments can be and would rather avoid them altogether.

This doesn’t mean he won’t raise the issue later, but for the moment, he wants to preserve the peace in your marriage.

9. He is Not Good at Handling Conflict

As much as conflicts are natural in any marriage, not everyone has the skills to handle them effectively.

So, some people are just not good at handling conflict.

Your husband may struggle with communication or knowing how to express his feelings during an argument.

Maybe he grew up in a household where conflicts were avoided or handled poorly, so it’s natural for him to react this way.

This can lead to him walking away because he doesn’t know how else to handle the situation.

10. It’s An Ego Thing

I hate to add this last point since all the points above are valid reasons for your husband avoiding conflicts.

But, let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just an ego thing, as men can b e such prideful creatures. 

Your husband may not want to admit he is wrong or apologize because he sees it as a sign of weakness.

He may feel the need to always be right and in control so he walks away to avoid conflicts altogether.

While it may seem hurtful and frustrating when your husband walks away during an argument, there are likely valid reasons behind his actions.

Rather than taking it as a personal attack, try to understand where he’s coming from.

I’m sure of one thing though: walking away from a fight is better than staying and causing more harm with hurtful words.

Offering to talk things through at another time when both of you are calmer is a more effective way of resolving conflicts in your marriage.