Why Do Guys Run When Things Get Serious? - Olubunmi Mabel

Anyone who seeks a committed relationship knows that it is a journey of highs and lows.

It’s not always easy, but when you find that special someone who makes your heart skip a beat and your soul feel at ease, it’s worth the effort.

Everyone wants love and wants to be loved. 

Yet some people run away when things get serious in a romantic relationship. 

Why would anyone run away from taking their feelings and commitments to another level? 

In fact, why do guys run when things get serious in a romantic relationship? 

Because today’s writing is focused on them. 

Sometimes, at the beginning of a relationship, there is a lot of excitement and energy, but that enthusiasm might diminish as time goes on.

Your partner might spend less time with you, show less affection, and seem less caring.

It is worth all the panic in the world.

Watching your man turn from being active and intentional with you and what you share to being withdrawn, inconsistent, sometimes indifferent, and even leaving entirely.

Yet you are clueless about what could possibly be the reason for his sudden change of attitude toward you or why he suddenly seems to abandon you in the relationship. 

I will outline seven potential reasons why a man might choose to flee when a situation becomes serious.

Somewhere around this reading, I believe you will find something that satisfies your concerns. 

If you understand why he is keeping his distance, you might be able to find a way to relate with him better.

This will help you avoid getting hurt and even know where you stand with him and whether you both can cooperate to make it work. 

A guy might run away when things get serious in a romantic situation due to the following: 

1. Uncertainties

It doesn’t take age to be sure of things or what to do in life.

In fact, I don’t think age has a role to play in making certain decisions about your life because even at 49, some people do not know what they want to do with their lives. 

Your man may just be dealing with uncertainties about the relationship at that time. 

He might not be sure yet that it’s you he wants or that he wants to get really committed to you by allowing things to get serious. 

The fact that he has been present for a while does not mean he is sure about what you share or about a future with you, and taking the relationship to the next level might just change things between you two.

It might be overwhelming for him because he is unsure about the future you both share. 

So, while he sees that things have begun to get serious between you two, he may run away from it. 

The gentleman may have personal questions that he has not been able to provide himself with yet, and the reality of the relationship turning on him altogether can cause him to run away even if he really cares. 

2. Financial Responsibilities of Commitment

More often than not, we do not like to admit that love is expensive.

Most people think it is just the feelings and intentions that matter, but I am telling you categorically that love is expensive.

Oh yes, love can be expensive, and so is taking a relationship to the next level. 

We understand that love comes with many responsibilities, and lovers are responsible for the factors that make their relationships thrive and blossom over time. 

When a relationship begins to get serious, it may require more financial responsibilities that some men may not be ready for.

This happens more when the relationship is gearing towards a more permanent zone.

I am talking about the point where conversations about marriage and starting a family are beginning to kick up.

The gentleman might be afraid that his pocket and reality can not deal with the relationship at the moment. 

So he may run away even though he loves you. 

Men are more logical, and their emotions would not bury their reality and fears of the financial responsibilities that a serious relationship comes with. 

3. Social Responsibilities of Commitment

There are financial responsibilities, and there are the social responsibilities of a relationship that is getting serious. 

Social responsibilities are the areas of commitment that require being faithful to you. 

These areas also require leaving certain lifestyles and becoming more socially ready for what is currently being built. 

Maybe your boyfriend is not ready to quit that social lifestyle, stop hanging out with certain friends, and stick to having one girlfriend. 

It is also possible that he is running away because he has never been into something that serious before, and he is worried about not meeting societal standards or handling such commitments well. 

Some people are not spontaneous, and they like to take their time and do things slowly. 

However, when things start getting serious between them and someone they are in love with, guys may withdraw because they can’t handle the growth of their relationship with the lady and the effect it may have on them socially.  

4. Personal Issues

A man’s personal experiences can be the reason why he is running away from a relationship that is getting serious.

With love seeming more difficult to find these days, anyone would hold dear and appreciate the love they share with their partner if it begins to progress. 

For a guy to run away in such a situation implies that there are things happening within and around him. 

People develop a phobia of marriage because of the many failed marriages they have seen. 

People run away from serious commitments for fear that they will end up just like their parents or close relatives. 

Childhood trauma and past experiences can be the personal issues that scare guys away when a relationship starts getting serious.

He might just be afraid to fail because he doesn’t trust himself to handle the relationship perfectly.

5. Social Pressure

Men like to be in control of situations. 

In fact, the feeling of manhood for them becomes greater when no one tells them what to do, when to do what to do, and how to do what to do. 

They find pride in sorting things out themselves. 

So, when a guy begins to feel pressure from family, friends, or relatives, things like these can make him run away when things start to get serious between you and him, even if he really cares about you. 

This social pressure can take many forms, such as his family’s expectations that he focus on his career instead of a relationship or pressure from friends to remain single and enjoy life. 

It can also be past experiences where he felt judged or pressured for being in a serious relationship. 

All of these factors can add up and cause him to retreat when the relationship starts to move towards a deeper commitment.

6. Expectations

As relationships age, both partners experience the lovey-dovey seasons and periods when only their commitments can help them fight for their love. 

During this time, you might notice that certain expectations are not being met as you desire.

You expect him to behave in certain ways because you believe you have evolved beyond the honeymoon phase of the relationship. 

But this is not happening, and there is no sign of it ever happening.

At some point, the ladies might try to tailor their expectations to the reality of the guy but often, it’s not enough. 

This is so because the guy is not ready to fit into the shoes of a serious relationship at this point.

This experience might be difficult for the guy, especially if he has been used to a certain way of life and finds adapting to change difficult.

He may find it challenging to stay true to his own values while compromising on things that are important to you both. 

In addition, he may also feel guilty if he puts his own needs before yours or feels uneasy if he has to make decisions that are different from what you both have agreed on. 

So while they watch as things get serious, they realize that it is happening without these expectations being met yet, contradicting their desires and wants in love. 

In such a case, running away may be the only reaction to their unmet expectations. 

7. He was never serious 

 

This may be the most painful part of my writing today. 

But you know, I have to write my suggestions anyway because who knows the people it might help. 

Another reason why guys may run when things get serious is because they may have never been serious in the first place. 

They may have fooled you into believing that they were “serious,” and you were so happy to think that someone was finally serious about being with you. 

But when the time comes, they just can’t handle it and run away. 

Maybe circumstances led him to you, and he never had the intention to get serious with you, so when it eventually begins to grow deeper, he might run away so he doesn’t get entangled with you. 

This is sad, but it is the truth. 

Guys run away when things get serious for several reasons. 

It could result from factors he can control or the ones he can’t. 

However, your guy’s case might differ from the reasons I mentioned here.  

So why don’t you consider talking to him first? 

If the relationship has already ended, you can give him some space to figure out what he wants first, or you can try asking him why just to get closure, depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup.  

If you both are still together, then have an honest conversation with him to discuss his recent changes in attitude and his plans. 

It’s painful to watch what you once had hope for die.

So, for you reading this, I truly desire and expect your love for that guy to get serious and grow into all you desire. 

I hope he desires it too.