I Cry Out — Broken & Hopeful

I cry out for relief.
I cry out in weariness.
I want change and different.
I want the pain to stop.
I want the wounds to heal,
The evil done to so many to be dealt with in justice.
I want the children to be delivered from the horror.
I don’t want anyone to suffer in the pain of this world.
I want those to be punished who do evil in Your name.
I don’t minimize any of this mess. 

But I look to You.
I pour my heart out to the Compassionate One.
I ask for Your strength to keep pushing into the pain.
I ask for breakthrough with the revelation of Your love.
I see you are faithful to keep rescuing.
You continue to pursue with love not based on behavior.
I can be angry with you, and you take it.
You keep bringing hope, and redemption.
You keep buying us back from the pain,
Whether we caused it or it was done to us.
Not one evil done by us or to us 
Can negate the new Life He has given us.
I need to say that again.
Nothing can steal us from this love.
Nothing. 

I have a hard time believing that sometimes.
But the ones who have come before us,
Testify to the truth of God’s character.
The ones who have suffered, bled, died.
They say that He is enough even through that.
And I know the peace they speak of.
The peace that makes no sense because of the surroundings. 

I often think that if I could figure it out.
If I could make sense of what God is doing in my head,
That would help me to say, “amen.”
But there are very few times I get that.
Because God doesn’t often make sense to my human mind,
But surpasses what I thought was possible.
He brings peace in the middle of chaos, 
Hope in the middle of complete discouragement,
Light in the middle of the deepest darkness.
It’s in the middle—not rescuing out of, but making it possible while still in the fire.
He is not contained to the way I would work.
He is not limited to my understanding. 

So, I will choose to trust you, Father.
Even when I can’t make any sense of it.
I will choose to walk in hope, peace and love,
Given to me by You and flowing out to others.
I will join others in their journey,
Pointing them back to You time and again.
For I don’t have the answers or explanations,
But I do have a God who is Faithful and True.
He can be trusted, even when not understood.
And when I do trust, my weariness falls off my shoulders.
My eyes rise to meet the future with hope.
There is healing balm for the pain,
And we walk on together looking past the circumstance of today,
Looking up and away to God’s eyes of kindness and love.

Then I will say to my soul, “Don’t be discouraged; don’t be disturbed, for I fully expect my Savior-God to break through for me. Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again.” Yes, living before his face is my saving grace! Psalm 43:5