I have been accused of male-bashing when I bring up very valid points that some others may not want to hear or may wish to avoid. The accuser is a person with narcissistic traits. I get gaslighted by this person frequently, and probably should not take it to heart, but the accusation is concerning.
I want to clarify some things for anyone else who may misunderstsnd me. I suppose it is strange to hear someone directly highlighting things that aren’t popular topics of discussion among many.
Yet, these issues are prevailing. Some of the things I point out steps on some people’s toes. I address problems women cause as well. It is not just issues with men that I address.
One of the main reasons issues persist is because people will not or cannot take the first step to acknowledge that there is a problem to begin with. They become offended and defensive. They want to run from the problems, instead of confronting them. When people deny, deflect, and accuse the messenger, it doesn’t resolve anything.
I feel the need to highlight these issues, because there is still too much silence and lack of action taken. The problems persist. If we’re not getting better, we’re getting worse. No one remains the same. It is not about bashing men. It is about pointing out truth to women to help them navigate safely through life- especially in their relationships.
If you are a woman or a girl living in this world, it is important that you are a woman or girl of wisdom. Of course, it is important for everyone to have wisdom.
On behalf of God and humanity, I seek to encourage and uplift others by highlighting unpopular truth that needs to be addressed, but is commonly shirked. The women have often been the ones getting hurt more often. This is not to minimize the hardships that men go through.
Nothing I say is to put down anyone. I’m simply making important, valid points. These points are made to tie into why society overall is the way that it is, and to focus on what can and should be done about it. Each of us as an individual can and should make a positive difference. As a Christian, and for other Christians, the ultimate goal is to glorify God, and to be godly light, while living in this dark, fallen world.
• There are actually hate groups against women online and offline. One of the online groups is called Incels. This stands for INvoluntary CELibateS. Have you heard of them? I will leave a link at the end of the post so you can read about them.
-They are not a safe group, whether online or offline. Incels are angry, bitter, mostly males, who feel entitled to sex, but apparently are not having sex. They are angry about this. They express their bitterness and misogyny amongst each other, as well as spreading the hate to others. Some have killed women.
• Globally, women are targeted much more for oppression, discrimination, objectification, harassment, violence, including assaults, and are more often on the losing end of double standards. Yes, in America and in certain other areas, things have gotten better, but there is a long way to go. The Middle East is obvious proof of how blessed we are in America.
Influence starts in the homes.
• How many fathers throughout the generations have sat their daughters down and properly equipped them with knowledge about the way many (not all) men’s minds tend to work, and about dating, and the tricks and ploys of the game?
Plenty father’s do a great job! However, I believe had things been done the way they should have been done more often, the results would have been more knowledgeable girls and women, less gullibility and silly delusion, fewer broken hearts and other messes.
Mothers play a pivotal role as well, and should share what knowledge they have, but women are limited on their knowledge of men and the game. Girls and young women need this knowledge.
So many women likely wouldn’t have been falling in love based on illusions fueled by romance novels and fairy tales. With their knowledge, they could have realized the romance novels and fairy tales were simply fantasy and a tool of deception.
With their fathers equipping them with thorough knowledge about the game, they would have been able to approach relationships from a reality standpoint, and able to be a lot more guarded with their hearts and bodies.
Some fathers are quick to tell their girls not to have sex, but often, these are the same fathers who have dealt harshly with their daughters and made them feel inadequate, resulting in them craving attention and approval from various men.
Commonly, their daughters will have low self-esteem and be looking for male approval and love in the wrong places. This is while at the same time, daughters are often unequipped with the knowledge they need to better understand and deal wisely and safely with men.
The proper way to deal with mistreatment of girls is not to fear having daughters or to try to avoid having daughters.
A much better, effective way to deal with the situation is for parents to model for and train their son(s) correctly.
• How many fathers strongly discouraged promiscuity in their sons?
• How many fathers strongly discouraged their sons’ feelings and ideas of false affirmation that result from womanizing/ promiscuity?
• What about fathers discouraging their sons from misogyny, and making sure they do not model chauvinism for their sons in their behavior and attitudes?
• How many fathers instructed and modeled before their sons how a man is to love, cherish, and be faithful to one woman, by the way he loved and remained faithful to his own wife, who is his son’s mother? Some fathers do this! Others don’t, and their boys are not able to witness it.
• How many showed their daughters how a man is supposed to treat a woman, based on the love he showed her, and also based on the love he gave his wife, who is his daughter’s mother? Some fathers do this. A lot of girls, however, do not get these kind of examples.
Seeing in their father the right example for how a man is to treat a woman would help girls develop into women who raise the bar and have the right, high standards for the kind of man they become involved with.
• How many times has a man gotten pregnant and been abandoned by the woman who impregnated him?
• How many women, like a predator, hunt men down and attack them in a rage, simply because they are men? Anything is possible, but I have never heard of such a story. Instead, some girls and women are attacked in this manner.
• Who is it- men or women who have fallen in love more easily and more often gotten their heart broken by the one trying to achieve numerous sexual “conquests” and get many notches on their belt? Most often, it has been women.
• Who are most vulnerable; yet seem to be the most carefree and ill-informed? Women and girls.
• Who much more often ends up being a homicide victim in a partnership? Women and girls.
• Who tends to be more trusting, yet, most vulnerable and has mainly been the victim of violent sexual assaults?
Women at the hands of some men. There are women who violate underage boys as well, and this is also evil. In addition, some men assault men this way, which is deplorable.
I stay in my lane.
I am a woman, so my focus is on encouraging, warning, and giving tips to the women. I do aim to be balanced in my presentation. At the same time, there are going to be some topics that are specifically geared toward women and their unique struggles.
Men should be mentored by other men. My focus is ladies, and in particular, young ladies and girls. Many girls have not even gotten the instruction and equipping that they should have received within their homes.
This contributes to them being easy targets and victims in life. When it comes to parenting and anything else, no one is perfect. I’m not here to put parents down, but to make necessary, points. Often, parents are doing the best that they can with the knowledge that they have. Besides, parenting is a learning experience.
There are certainly home environments where some fathers do train their sons and train and equip their daughters correctly with knowledge. Some mothers do the same. Some parents, though imperfect, do model correct examples before their children. However, I am talking about types of neglect that are commonplace, and how this is manifesting in the dysfunctional society that we live in.
It really does start in the homes. King Solomon spoke these words of wisdom. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6.
Parenting can’t be easy. It’s not something I can know from experience, because I am not a parent. I agree with King Solomon’s proverbial statement. However, some offspring will rebel, regardless of how well their parents raise them!
When households are not in order, then the church is not in order. When the households and churches are not in order, society is not in order.
I understand that if the majority of households were in order, we would not live in the dysfunctional, broken, society we live in. If proper instruction and demonstration was present in the homes, boys would most often be able to grow up to be mature, responsible, faithful, loving men.
Some of the communities would not be so riddled with gangs, single mothers, and crime, with boys and young men shooting each other up in the streets if children were raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Father absenteeism is rampant. This is particularly a problem in the black community.
Hip-hop culture is influencing girls and boys negatively. Gun violence, degradation of women, and materialism are typically glorified in hip-hop music.
Some mothers coddle and cripple their sons, instead of helping them to be responsible, mature men. Many mothers do a wonderful job with their sons. Regardless of how well they raise their sons, the son needs his father (or other suitable male mentors) around to model what it means to be a man, and to instruct and properly train him.
Worse yet, is the fact that many fathers in these communities are absent at high rates, and not being the right examples for their sons. Father absenteeism in general is a huge problem in this country. Even when fathers are physically present, some are neglectful, abusive, and failing to properly demonstrate to and instruct their sons on what it means to be a man.
Girls coming out of a healthy home environment would very likely grow up with a lot more knowledge and be more mature as well. The girls who have a healthy and loving relationship with their father are a lot less likely to become unwed mothers, less likely to have poor judgment, and have so many relationship problems.
Mothers should teach their daughters to know their worth. They also should show and teach their daughters how to love and respect men. When it comes to this, the best education experience a daughter can receive is watching her mother interact with her father.
Mothers should certainly teach their daughters how to carry themselves and to respect themselves, but men know men. A mother is not going to know fully how to equip her daughter with knowledge about men, the player’s mindset, and the game, the way the girl’s father can.
Social media is increasingly being used as a platform to spread hate between men and women, boys and girls.
In addition, there are evil teachings and “schooling” available online and elsewhere for boys and men, on how they should mistreat and oppress women. There are also hate movements against single mothers. Gentlemen are referred to as “simps” and “beta” males. The wrong types of men that mistreat women are called “alpha” male.
These types of platforms draw many, many, men, and surprisingly some women. News flash: the adversary clearly does not like women. He does not like men either, and humanity in general, for that matter! In fact, his issue is with God, which is why he attacks mankind, who was created in God’s image.
Just like in the Garden of Eden when the serpent deceived Eve and defiled her mind with falsehoods, bringing about much sorrow and destruction, the enemy does the same today. One major way women are under heavy attack and deceived is in unhealthy relationships. Another way is their identity confusion. This is why the ladies need encouragement, sound advice, and protection.
The adversary persistently pits men and women against each other. He does this because he is opposing to God’s will, which is for men to love, cherish, and protect women, and for women to also love and respect men. Thank God there will always be some men who do love and protect women, as well as women who also love men and are grateful for their leadership and protection.
There are indeed decent men out there! Absolutely. By addressing women’s plight, I am not ignoring this wonderful reality.
Injustice against men is just as wrong and tragic as injustice against women. I just wanted to point out reasons why I speak up the way that I do. I am not male-bashing. To consider it male-bashing when I address these topics is deflecting away from the very important issues that need to be dealt with. It is beneficial to be sensitive concerning the different plights of people. In my situation, it is often the plight of women I address.
Even more so, my concern is the young girls who are coming up misguided and looking to date and get married.
• Do they know their worth?
• Who has taught them how to respect and carry themselves correctly? Vile music is also a major platform of the adversary that teaches girls and boys how to carry themselves.
• Do many girls and young ladies falsely believe being single is a curse?
• Do many think that marriage or having a boyfriend is the end-all and be-all?
• Do they know how to choose wisely in relationships?
• Are they guarding their hearts and bodies?
• What will the future look like for them?
• What will they contribute to society?
• What kind of legacy will they leave?
• How many fathers are properly training their sons, so that they will make good husbands and fathers to someone else’s daughters?
• What will our future society look like based on the integrity of the people?
• How many fathers and mothers are training their daughters correctly on how to be a godly wife, on how to carry themselves, and are proactively equipping them with knowledge?
Again, fathers should be giving away all of their knowledge of the game to their daughters. Fathers can give their daughters insight into a man’s mind, his ploys, his thought processes about sex, sexual conquest, etc. This would help prepare her and arm her against all of the wiles out there.
At the same time, fathers should be training their sons not to think in those wrong ways, but to respect and value women. The daughters need to be taught to respect the men as well. On behalf of God and humanity, I would love to see people have strong and healthy relationships. I would love to see people love each other and leave a legacy of righteousness. I cannot change the world, but I can pray, be a godly example, and use the voice God gave me.
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4: 7-8.
About Incels, according to Wikipedia:
Used with permission from Petrina Ferguson.