Graduation and Complex Feelings

Nationaltoday.com says today is Repeat Day.  I feel that.  We attended a graduation ceremony last week for our daughter Shelby.  She graduated from high school at 17.  But now at 21 she is graduating from the same school’s transition program.  We are so grateful for the extra years our state allows special education students to stay before moving on to the adult world.

I have lots of feelings, as I did when writing about her first graduation here, here, here and here.  And I have shed buckets of tears over those feelings.  It’s complicated.  Usually when a graduation happens, bigger and better things await.  But I would keep Shelby right where she is forever if I could.  I am thankful for the adult dayhab that she will attend from now on.  It will give her some socialization and a break from the boredom that is hanging out at home.  But it’s not the same.  And that, along with tougher medical care – and someday a small group home – are what is available to her for the rest of her life.

Graduation Goodies

But let’s break from the doom and gloom to talk about the sweet, special moments from her graduation.  She was so excited to be celebrated.  There were balloons, cupcakes and other decorations.  Her teacher spoke of Shelby’s sweet disposition, her stubborn streak and how she’s grown.  She called her a ray of sunshine.  And she is.

One of her former aides asked off work to come see her.  And the aide who works with her now stuck to her side.  Teachers and paraprofessionals from her elementary, middle school and both high schools have cared for her and loved her so well.  And I might as well include nurses, bus drivers, diagnosticians and transition specialists too!  My husband’s observation was that she is known – really known by this community.  And that’s hard to leave behind.  She’s so fortunate to have had this experience with school.

Shelby’s Best Buddy Delaney came to the ceremony.  And invited us all to her graduation party.  She has taken Shelby to Homecoming and a friendship ball.  A halloween party and an Easter egg hunt.  Ice cream and soda dates filled the in between.  Shelby loves to be with same age peers.  And I don’t know how many other high school seniors would spend their time like this.

Lastly, we met Shelby’s boyfriend at graduation.  We didn’t know that she had one.  I don’t think she knows either.  But this young man thinks my daughter is beautiful.  He told us that she hugs him and they walk holding hands.  I was so grateful for his tender affection for her and for the comic relief.  I really needed it.

Graduation Education

So the day was both sweet and hard.  My point in telling you all this is to make sure you know that we can hold both things.  We can be joyful and still grieve.  I can laugh in the midst of pain.  We can be grateful for the experience and still think it sucks that it’s over. 

And even when there is tension between our desires and our realities, we can be confident in God’s sovereignty and His love for us.

And now if you don’t mind, I’m going to follow the instructions in Matthew 6:6 from the Message.

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”

And now for this week’s featured post from the link up!

Linda from beingwoven.org used scripture beautifully to express the frustration and inner turmoil we often feel about the hard things in the world.  I so appreciate her vulnerability and her prayer of obedience in I Have Very Few Words…Today.

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

TAMMY KENNINGTON – Restoring hope. Pursuing peace.
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

Sharing is caring! If you liked this post, do me the huge honor of using the buttons below to share it to your favorite social media accounts. And if you want to get these essays emailed to you once a week, subscribe!  Lastly, my posts may contain affiliate links and I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy anything from one of these links, I will receive a few pennies to help offset the cost of this website at no additional charge to you. Thank you in advance for your help.

To find some great places where I might be sharing this post, click here.