1. She is confident.
2. She is content being who she is. She is content with what she has accomplished and what she will continue to accomplish as she grows as a person.
3. She is not likely to envy others.
4. She is unlikely to covet what others have.
5. There is no need for her to be catty and vicious toward other women because she is confident and even appreciates the ways in which other women are blessed.
6. Although like everyone else, she has some insecurities about certain things, she is not likely to have chronic, significant, debilitating insecurities about herself.
This is not to put down people with severe insecurities. It is an encouraging reminder that one does not lose his or her value or worth, despite their insecurities and shortcomings.
7. A woman who knows her worth most likely will not have a desire to compete unnecessarily with others and compare herself to others.
8. She knows that she is just as valuable as anyone else, regardless of her relationship status.
9. She knows her worth as a human being, fearfully and wonderfully made by God, regardless of all external circumstances.
10. The woman who knows her worth is grateful. She knows she is favored and blessed.
• Show me a catty woman and you have shown me an individual who does not know her worth.
• Show me an envious person and you have shown me a person who does not know their own worth.
• Show me a people pleaser and you have shown me a person who does not understand their worth. They seek validation by trying to please people.
Trying to please people is fine, as long as it is done with healthy motives and doesn’t come from a desperate need to gain acceptance, admiration, praise and validation. When a person takes these actions based on their personal need for validation, it can lead to frustration and resentment.
Many people try many tactics to gain favor with other people, in order to obtain feelings of validation. External validation is fleeting.
Not everybody is a believer in Jesus. However, a person who understands their worth must first have a healthy, submitted relationship to God, in order to experience an internal understanding of their personal value.
An individual should understand that they are who God says they are. When someone has a healthy relationship with God, their confidence is in Him and their dependence is upon Him.
Secondly, parents and other mentors also play a crucial role in helping build healthy self-esteem in children. A parent’s love, instruction, affirmation, encouragement and guidance helps to build self-esteem in children. In such situations, this healthy self-esteem is typically present in adulthood.
Otherwise, people search for validation through other people, accomplishments and other external things. One problem with this is that people are not necessarily dependable.
One day, people may be praising you. Another day, they may be tearing you down. It is important to be able to remain stable in knowing our worth, no matter what other people think of us or are saying about us.
People will indeed accomplish things. Everyone was created with purpose and has something to offer to help and be a blessing to others. I believe we should do our best and be our best, according to our potential. However, these things and other external circumstances never bring true satisfaction or a real understanding of our personal worth, if we do not have an internal understanding of our worth.
When I know I am who God says I am, I understand and accept that I’m not perfect and I know that He will not stop loving me, simply because I make mistakes or don’t measure up to the expectations of others.
He will never let me down, but helps me through difficult circumstances. I used to look to others too much for validation and approval. It is an ongoing process for me, not to depend too much on others for validation.
I learned the hard way that some people just cannot be pleased. Some people will mistreat you no matter how kind you are to them. When you accomplish things, others can become envious and even hateful.
To remove myself from a toxic situation and safeguard myself from people who are haters, those who do not appreciate me or are mistreating me is to respect myself. I understand now that as long as I am doing my best and depending on God, He will do the rest.
My identity and my confidence are in God. I am valuable, because God created me that way.
You are valuable because God created you that way. No one can take that from us.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” – Psalms 139: 13-14.
Used with permission from Petrina Ferguson.