Beloved of the Lord
The following is an excerpt from my book 100 Days on the Road to Grace, with several questions for consideration afterward.
Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?
– John 8:10
The shame hangover from a porn binge is awful. I remember feeling spiritually soiled, as if my soul was smeared with dank, reeking sewage. Even if no one else knew about it, I always felt embarrassed, humiliated, and worthless. The word hypocrite haunted me. I wanted to hide, cover up, and avoid exposing what I really was. Surely, if someone saw the truth, they would reject me. But hiding only intensified the cycle of binge–misery–binge, leaving me smeared with more shame.
Put yourself in this scene: You’ve just finished binging with porn or committing adultery. You feel horrible; shame is all over you. You tell yourself you’re a pathetic excuse of a Christian and God could never love you—at least, not until you “get cleaned up.” Suddenly, four words form in your mind: “Beloved of the Lord.”
“Where’s that coming from?” you wonder. “Am I delusional?”
“Beloved of the Lord” forms in your mind again and then a third time. “Is the Devil messing with me?” you ask. “I should be hearing words of conviction, not this.” Such a thing could never be spoken by God after a man did something so wretched and shameful, right?
Now read the story in John 8 about the woman who was dragged to Jesus after being caught in the act of adultery. Look at His response in verse 11: “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on, sin no more.”
What’s going on here!? Shouldn’t Jesus have flamed her for such a blatant act of sin, especially one that merited death in Old Testament law?
I believe Jesus looked into this woman’s heart and saw true, godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10), coupled with a desire for repentance and restoration. I also believe He knew that she knew who He was, which was evidenced when she called him “Lord” in verse 11. In this context, Jesus accepted, forgave, and expressed love to her in an instant. It was her acceptance of this package of grace that gave her the strength to walk free from shame and obey His command to “sin no more.” Since God does not command us to do that which He will not help us accomplish in His strength (Philippians 4:13), acceptance of His overflowing grace was the critical piece.
When we’re broken over our sin, nothing cleanses the shame like Jesus saying, “I accept you in spite of your failure. I love you.” He might do it through the Holy Spirit or through a trusted friend. All it takes is for us to expose our sin to another and then receive the gift. Some of the most intimate moments I’ve had with God have been after I’ve blown it.
As to whether God would really say, “Beloved of the Lord” to a man immediately after a fall—He said it to me after I masturbated to porn some years ago. At the time, I shrugged it off, not believing He would say such a thing right after I deliberately chose to sin.
Read John 8 again. If He said it in His Word to a woman caught in sexual sin, then He is saying it to you.
A key that I didn’t understand when God spoke to me that day after my failure is to receive His gift of grace.
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What kind of thoughts are running through your mind these days? Are you wrestling with thoughts of shame, condemnation, fear, bitterness, hopelessness, or anxiety? If God were to whisper “Beloved of the Lord,” to you, could you accept it? Or would you reject it because the lies of the enemy are blocking the light of the truth from getting?
God convicts us of sin for the purpose of healing and restoration. When the Lord convicts, He touches the point of sin as a surgeon uses a scalpel, then heals and closes the wound by the blood of the cross. He doesn’t use a sledgehammer to destroy our heart, which is the enemy’s way.
Which voice are you listening to? Do you know God’s voice?
Are you able to discern the lies of the enemy and shut them down when he hits you, or are you allowing him to pulverize you, even to the point that you’re cowering in a corner?
Stand up and take hold of your spiritual birthright of who you are in Christ. You must be willing to fight for it. Many believers are living lives of quiet desperation because they will not engage in spiritual warfare—often, because they haven’t been equipped in this arena. If you’re a blood-bought believer in Christ, “Beloved of the Lord” is for you. Receive it, no matter how you feel, have failed, or any thoughts of condemnation or doubt that might be running through your mind. Remember the blood of the cross that cleanses us from all sin.
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”
– 1 John 1:7
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
– 1 Corinthians 15:58
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”
– Ephesians 5:1
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”
– 1 John 4:7
