When A Married Man Ends Your Affair: 10 Ways To Come Out Stronger - Olubunmi Mabel

More often than not, an extramarital affair isn’t something we sign up for; it’s something we often stumble into, blinded by the flares of passion or the warmth of connection.

Whether you found yourself dating a married man or simply fell for someone who turned out to be already taken, what happens when a married man ends your affair?

What do you do when the relationship you’d deemed discreet and indispensable is, after all, finite?

1. Forgive Yourself

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

You don’t need a priest to tell you that dating a married man is all shades of wrong.

I know life isn’t black and white, and you might have become the other woman unintentionally, but that doesn’t change the fact that you were involved with a married man.

If you are a decent person, you should feel guilty (at least to some extent) for being a part of someone’s infidelity.

Yes, he was the one who broke his vows, but you were an accomplice.

However, beating yourself up or constantly blaming yourself won’t change anything.

Instead, forgive yourself and recognize that everyone makes mistakes.

Focus on learning from this experience and growing as a person.

Carrying that weight will only hinder your healing and growth.

2. Respect His Decision

No one likes rejection or sudden endings, especially when feelings are deep.

But when a married man decides to end the affair, you need to respect his decision, as tough as that may be.

It takes courage for a married man to end an affair, especially if he was the one who initiated it.

Respect his decision, and don’t try to convince him otherwise.

You may be hurting and wanting him back, but this is his marriage and his choice.

Honor that and give him space to make a decision without being pressured or manipulated.

It feels like when your favorite series gets canceled right when you were knee-deep in the plot; totally not cool, but out of your control.

I want you to see it this way: it’s not just about him going back to his commitments; it’s about you making space for new chapters.

I know it’s tempting to seek closure or try to maintain a friendship, but you know better than to linger over a losing game.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not asking you to suppress your feelings or pretend it’s all okay when it’s not.

Feel that pain, let it wash over you, then gradually let it go.

3. Reflect on Your Motives

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

When the dust settles and you can think clearly, take some time to reflect on why you got involved with a married man in the first place.

Was it the excitement?

The connection?

Maybe it was all about chasing someone who was emotionally unavailable or finding validation in the wrong places.

Or maybe you just got swept up in a moment that felt so right at the time, and before you knew it, boom, you were in a situation you never imagined yourself you could be in.

Understanding your motives might sound like a total ‘aha’ moment waiting to happen.

Trust me, it’s super important.

Understanding your ‘why’ will help you avoid making the same mistake in the future and make better decisions.

It’s like finally figuring out why you keep ordering takeout from the place that always messes up your order. lol

4. Let Yourself Grieve

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

Even though your relationship may have been built on secrecy and limited time together, it’s still valid to feel a sense of loss when it ends.

Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship, and don’t dismiss your emotions as insignificant.

You invested time, effort, and feelings into this affair, so give yourself time to process those emotions.

Cry, scream into a pillow, write in a journal, do whatever helps you release those pent-up emotions.

Just remember that grieving doesn’t mean wallowing in self-pity; it means acknowledging your feelings and allowing yourself to heal.

5. Take Care of Yourself

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

When reality turns brutal, self-care becomes your anchor.

Self-care may look different for everyone, but the important thing is to do things that make you feel good and bring you peace.

Spend time with loved ones, take up a new hobby, go for walks in nature, or indulge in some guilty pleasures.

Take care of your physical and mental well-being by eating healthily, getting enough rest, and seeking support from friends or a therapist if needed.

Remember that you are worthy of love and happiness, and taking care of yourself is an essential part of moving on from this experience.

6. Avoid Seeking Revenge

When someone pulls the rug out from under you, it’s almost instinctive to want to pull something even bigger out from under them.

That’s the tit-for-tat game, and it could feel so satisfying.

But then, it’s not a game you want to play.

Seeking revenge is like grabbing a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you’re the one who gets burnt first.

So, avoid the temptation of revenge.

It’s easy to find yourself boiling with thoughts of payback.

Like, maybe you’ve brainstormed a hundred ways to expose the affair or make him pay for hurting you, but what will that really accomplish?

Instead, use that energy for something positive, like working on the most awesome person in this equation: you.

Trust me, the best ‘revenge’ is living well and being your amazing self without him.

Glow up, babe!

7. Embrace the Lessons

Nobody signs up for the ‘affair with a married person’ course on purpose, but you’ve sort of graduated from it, haven’t you?

There are lessons in every relationship, even the ones that don’t pan out how we hoped.

What’s critical now is to embrace these lessons.

Maybe you’ve learned about your boundaries or about what you truly value in a relationship.

Perhaps you’ve discovered a reservoir of strength within you that you didn’t even know existed.

Whatever it is, take these golden nuggets of wisdom, tuck them close to your heart, and use them to fortify yourself for future romances.

Because what will be the point of going through all this pain if you don’t come out stronger and wiser?

8. Keep Moving Forward

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

It’s easy to get stuck in the past, replaying memories and wondering what could have been.

But the truth is, there’s no changing what has already happened.

The only direction you can go now is forward.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if it feels like you’re stumbling along at first.

Take up new hobbies or reconnect with old ones that bring you joy.

Spend time with friends and family who support and uplift you.

Focus on your personal growth and self-care, whether that means going for a run or taking a relaxing bubble bath.

Don’t let the affair define or consume you.

Keep moving forward and creating a brighter future for yourself.

9. Practice Forgiveness

I know this one might make you want to roll your eyes so hard, but forgiving him doesn’t mean sending a giant teddy bear with an “I forgive you” balloon.

Nah, it’s much quieter than that, but oh, so powerful.

It’s about untangling yourself from all that negative energy so you can fly higher than you ever did before.

It’s about releasing yourself from the weight of resentment and anger.

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be any different.

It’s acknowledging that he’s flawed (aren’t we all?) and that the end of your affair might actually be the kindest thing he did for you both.

He’s made his choice, and now you make yours.

Choose to let go, choose to move on, and choose to embrace the lessons you’ve learned.

Plus, staying mad at him is giving him free rent in your head, and you don’t want that.

It may not be easy, but forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and moving forward.

10. Acknowledge the End

When A Married Man Ends Your Affair

When saying goodbye to what you had with a married man, you’ve also got to pull the curtain on that stage of your life.

Acknowledging the end means facing reality, no sugar-coating or living in a fantasy world.

It means accepting that the relationship has reached its conclusion and it’s time to move on.

This can be a difficult step, especially if you were deeply invested in the affair emotionally. 

But remember that every ending is also a new beginning.

Think about it, sis; you’ve just freed up a whole lot of time and space in your heart for something or someone truly amazing that doesn’t come with a ‘complicated’ status.

The end of an affair isn’t the end of love; it’s a metamorphosis.

It may have been concealed from the world, but it was real and potent while it lasted.

And now, as you navigate your way through the aftermath, remember that you are not weak or broken.

You are a survivor, capable of transforming heartache into newfound strength.

I’m rooting for you!


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