What To Do When Others Envy Your Relationship - Impacting Righteously

Sometimes, there is opposition to a relationship from outsiders. Even on the occasions where there is a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, hate can come from the friends or family of one or both partners.

For whatever reason, some are in opposition to the union. I think it is well known that some women are often envious of other women and do not like to see other women in a happy relationship.

I’ve been in a relationship where the man I was seeing confided in me that he was accused by his friends in a way that questioned his manhood. This man treated me very well. He previously was a jock who hung out with a pretty rough crowd who was lacking in the integrity department.

The positive changes they saw come over him while he was with me were reportedly met with ridicule. There are other men who do this as well. I have heard it with my own ears. They do it to other women’s boyfriends or husbands: they mock them and encourage them to treat their lady differently- to treat her worse, to be exact.

I believe there are two reasons for this: envy and contempt. One very possible reason a man is critical of another man’s positive change and healthy relationship is envy of the man. The other very possible reason is that some men are bitter, have contempt, and simply do not like to see women treated well.

These types of men will say something like:

“Only a sissy would treat a woman so well.”

“He is a simp.”

“He is just a beta male!”

“Who wears the pants in your relationship?”

“Who is the dominant one in your relationship- you or her?”

As if in order to prove one’s manhood, he has to withhold love from his lady and mistreat her. As if being masculine means dominating and mistreating one’s lady.

Reality is, Christ-like masculinity loves and cherishes the woman.

I have also heard of men mocking the man who proposes to his woman on one knee.
How sad someone has such contempt, they mock other men for showing their lady honor and making her feel special in that way.

These types will try to interfere in a loving relationship if they have the opportunity. Hopefully, not many have “friends” like this. It could also be a member or members of one’s family who have an issue and are trying to interfere. Regardless, a mature gentleman knows how to remain steadfast in love. He is not swayed by the haters.

Where does a man’s adoration of and desire to win a woman over come from?

God has designed a man this way. In the Bible, Jacob loved a young lady named Rachel. He worked 7 years for Rachel, so that he could have her. He got tricked, and in the process worked another 7 years for her! Genesis 29: 9-20. In fact, verse 20 shows us that Jacob was so in love with Rachel that the seven years seemed brief. “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.” 

God designed male pursuit and female response in the animal kingdom, just as He did with humans.

To emphasize how much women are hurting themselves by going against God’s divine order, I talk about it in an older post that I will link at the end of this post.

It is about how the female animals instinctively know that they are the prize and they do not settle. There are examples of how some of the female animals differ from some women in how they deal with the males.

It is not likely that female animals are chasing and fighting each other over male animals!

Female animals do not act desperate. They are very selective. Women running after men and being desperate, throwing themselves at men has helped to train some men to believe that they are the prize. Some think that they should sit around and wait for a woman to pursue and win them over.

Male animals fight other males, show off beautiful colors, do different displays, do dances, build nests, to impress and win the female. Yet, the female may or may not choose him. She could prefer another male.

The woman or female animal is the prize, in that God has designed it that the man or male animal desires to pursue, work for, woo, and win her over. On the spiritual side of things, Jesus Christ Himself loved the church first. He initiated. He gave His life for us. We respond to His love. Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:19.

Although she is the prize to be pursued and won over, a woman also has already (perhaps unknowingly) won a man, in order for him to pursue her in the first place. In any healthy relationship, both partners are benefiting from and are a blessing to each other.

Some folks may resent the dynamic of male desire, pursuit of, love for, and him working for her. Some love to dog women, and they are disturbed by men who treat women well.

Be warned that there are indeed men like this. A man must be secure enough in who he is, and secure enough in his manhood so that when his so-called friends call him a punk or “beta” male for treating his woman right, he won’t be swayed.

A man should love and prioritize his woman enough so that he cannot be convinced by his envious friends to love her less. Likewise, his lady should do the same for him.

Be aware of the haters that are out there. The spirit of envy is powerful and sabotaging. No worries though! When a man is confident in who he is, confident in his masculinity, and treasures his woman, he will stand by her, defend her, and protect the relationship.

It’s wise for him to separate himself from those kinds of ridiculing “friends.” The same goes for anybody who has toxic friends who envy them. A woman who has “friends” like that should be very careful also, and use wisdom in guarding herself against such.

Tip:

While it is good to generically acknowledge gratitude and appreciation for your man, it is never a good idea to brag or emphasize too much how great your man is to others. Hopefully, neither the woman nor her partner are bragging to friends or family.

Too much bragging can lead to others wanting to see for themselves if what is being bragged about is true! People may be covetous. Even some of those people that we believe to be very close to us sometimes turn out to be envying us and competing with us!

“Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?”

Proverbs 27: 4 (KJV)

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Looking Into Nature, Women Can Learn Valuable Lessons About Relationships