Tinder has declared “situationships” as the top dating app trend of 2022. We’ve been talking about this for years. Read About That Guy That Looks at You Like You Are the Sunshine in His World but You Don’t Know If He’s Your Boyfriend. Maybe because I’m trendy smart? No. Mostly because I’m so tired of hearing about these situations involving real hearts who want love, who are trying to figure things out, who contort themselves in the hopes to find love, and who end up with broken hearts.
According to Tinder a situationship is “when you’re not quite dating someone, but you’re not just sleeping with them either.” So yes, in some contorted way this is people saying they are looking to grow into a relationship. Tinder’s in-app survey among users 18-24-years-old in the U.K., U.S., and Australia done November 2022 shows that “1 in 10 respondents prefer ‘situationships’ as a way to develop a relationship with less pressure.” Tinder also noticed a 49% jump in members adding the term to their profile status from January to October this year. https://mashable.com/article/tinder-situatonships-year-in-swipe
We do believe in dating apps as one of the ways to date for the simple reason of meeting more people. Meeting more people is simply one of the things you have to do.
But yes, dating apps are mostly used to feed the “hook up culture.” Are you able to figure out all of those acronyms now found on dating profiles? Acronyms that are not about dating but rather hooking up?
Another report found that a majority of young people are not using dating apps to find serious relationships. Over the last three years, the percentage of young people who agree that they’re “just looking for a good time and [are] not interested in settling down,” has increased more than 10 points, to now nearly 40%. (YPulse’s Dating & Relationships Report 2022) So realistically you can pass over at least 40% of all dating profiles you look at.
But now you can look into those profile statuses for “situationship” and maybe read it as an intention of a relationship seeker. I much prefer someone come right out and say they are a seeking a healthy dating relationship, but in the weird dating app world this may be a marker. Or not.
Of course, covid changed nearly everything about dating and how you meet new people. Let’s just consider this a good reboot because dating needs a good reboot. All of that covid time alone allowed many people to consider and reconsider some of their values. Some have decided to stop the crazy-making decisions they were justifying and choose wiser.
Post covid we have all grown more concerned about the increasing mental health crises we are noticing. Notice this also. We’ve never had more sexual freedom than we do now—and we have more mental health problems than ever. Is this a coincidence? I think not.
In those app profiles look also for “slow dating.” Slow dating is not a new idea but it is new on the dating apps.
Before covid one of the problems of dating apps was that you would text with someone for weeks or months before there was ever a date. You were left “hanging” about what the intentions of the other was because the app world is set up that way. Then covid came and it wasn’t safe to meet new people.
Now “slow dating” is a thing and is being defined as a thing. That is the difference–it is defined so you do know the intention of the other.
Basically slow dating is you match with someone, you chat, you go on maybe a Zoom date, you exchange Spotify playlists, and maybe two months later you go on an actual date. It is simply a more intentional way of getting to know someone in a variety of mediums before meeting in-person.
Beige Flags are the New Red Flags
First, eyes wide open on those red flags! Do not ignore them. Do not justify them. Do not contort yourself. Listen to your soul. Listen to your team. Listen to your friends. If there is an acronym in someone’s profile it is probably a red flag.
Beige flags also need to be paid attention to. Beige flags are signs on a dating app that clearly show someone hasn’t put much thought or effort into their profile, thus they probably won’t put much thought or effort into a relationship. Because you are a reader of Brave Dating, you have probably already figured this out. Now it has a trending name. Google or YouTube beige flags and you will get a fun education.
A good profile has some “nostalgia-stanning.” These are deep dive pop culture references that are a part of you, especially the nostalgic you. Maybe even the part of you before dating broke your heart so much.
So you put this obscure pop culture reference into your profile and if someone comments about it, you feel understood. That maybe this stranger who just messaged you is different from all of the other idiots who have been messaging you. https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/dating-love/nostalgia-stanning-millennial-dating-trend/709415
I fear I didn’t help you with these trends. Because how do you figure all of this out and the intentions of the other who has your eye and not feel jitters and vulnerable? Is this crazy stuff worth it?
Yes. We believe in dating here at Bravester. Download our free resource. We also know all too well of the vulnerability of dating. There is a 100% chance you are going to have a broken heart and there is a 100% chance you will one day meet your love of a lifetime. Read everything we have. Put a team together. And use your discerner, part-brain, part-instinct, and part-Holy-Spirit. Try to date again. You are also wiser and have your values better figured out since covid.
Originally published at Bravester with permission from Brenda Seefeldt Amodea.