7 Common Reasons Men Fall Out Of Love - Olubunmi Mabel

In fairy tales and Disney movies, falling out of love is not a thing, as it is a world of “happily ever afters“.

Reality is a different ball game and you may be in for a shocker when a man who was in love with you tells you he no longer feels that way about you.

Does it mean he didn’t actually love you?

Well, it is a possibility.

However, it is also possible that he actually loved you and, at some point, just stopped feeling that way about you.

I wish things were different.

I wish that “happily ever afters” were guaranteed in relationships. 

Sadly, it doesn’t work like that most of the time.

Men fall out of love.

Women too.

However, they don’t just wake up one morning to discover that they no longer love their partners.

Why then do men fall out of love?

In this article, we will be attempting to answer this question while including a few tips on how to nurture love in your relationship.

Come along!

1. He no longer feels appreciated

Everyone loves appreciation…

Especially men.

We love to feel admired by our loved ones.

We love our women to see us as the greatest men in the world, just as every woman wants her man to see her as the most beautiful woman in the world.

I am not so deluded to think I am the greatest man to ever walk the earth.

However, as much as the next man, I like to imagine I am the greatest man in my own little world.

I love to feel appreciated and admired by my woman, and when that’s not forthcoming, it triggers a whole lot of negative events that lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

The quote about familiarity bringing contempt rings a bell.

When you and your man have been together for some time, you may begin to feel the urge to trivialize the things he does.

You may start feeling like he isn’t that important to you, and that may just be because you are becoming overfamiliar with him.

Never follow the urge to feel so familiar with your man that you don’t appreciate him.

It is an ill wind that blows no one any good.

Lack of appreciation in a relationship leads to a decline in love, connection, and communication.

Men love appreciation…

They want to be told how wonderful they are.

Your man wants you to tell him how kind he is.

Don’t just expect him to know it.

He wants to hear it from you.

One of the main reasons men fall out of love is lack of appreciation and the simple solution to that is to appreciate your man.

Men should also appreciate their women.

Appreciation is a two-way street and for relationships to be successful, both partners must use their sides of the street frequently.

2. He is dissatisfied

Everyone has expectations for their relationships and when they are not met, disappointment sets in.

Disappointment is one sure way to stifle love in a relationship.

No man wants to stay in a long-term relationship if their expectations are unmet.

In fact, it is one of the ways to send your man scampering away. 

However, we need to define what these expectations are and if they are unrealistic or not.

If you are merely dating, some forms of expectations are unrealistic.

We do not encourage people who are not married to have sex, so if your boyfriend is expecting sex from you when you don’t want it, then that can be classified as unrealistic.

However, there are things men expect from a relationship.

They want companionship, they want to feel loved and they want emotional support.

Men want all these from their relationships but because they are mostly not outspoken about this, it is easy for ladies to underestimate the power of a man’s feelings.

When you don’t satisfy these needs, men begin to withdraw and distance themselves from you.

This may seem to reduce how much they expect from you but it also reduces the love they feel for you until it is completely depleted.

When a man falls out of love with you, he no longer has any expectations of you.

The simple truth is that if women want men to meet their expectations, it must also be the other way around. 

Communicate with your man.

Don’t just be a fairweather partner.

Be there for him when things are tough and he seems to be quaking in the face of pressure and challenges.

In the end, this is what matters to a man…

Who was there for him when it seemed like the whole world was against him?

3. You are not compatible

Now, many people say things like, “We are not compatible, so I need to move on,” just to justify their departure from the relationship.

Inasmuch as this may seem to be an overflogged reason, it is still valid in some cases.

In the initial phase of most relationships, things like incompatibility rarely register and if they do, most people like to explain it away.

The euphoria of the honeymoon phase of relationships doesn’t really allow partners to notice incompatibility issues early in the relationship.

While love may conquer all, some incompatibilities may not be conquered by love.

For example, if a man wants kids and you don’t, engaging in any long-term relationship with him is a waste of time.

You don’t want what he wants and vice versa.

The Bible sums it up clearly in the question: “Can two walk together except they agree?”.

The fact is that men may fall out of love with you if your goals and values don’t align.

With glaring incompatibilities in relationships, it feels like a vast rift is placed between lovers, making it impossible for them to meet each other halfway.

This is why it is important to discuss your goals and values early in the relationship.

Know your partner.

This will save you from getting too involved with someone who is not compatible with you.

4. You love the idea of him

A man may fall out of love with his woman if he realizes that she doesn’t actually love him.

Many women mistake loving the idea of a person loving the person.

However, they are two different things.

You may be in love with the idea of a guy and not the guy himself.

So, when you finally get into a relationship with such a person, you may find yourself discontented with him.

You want to mold him into the perfect image of that idea you have in your head and you won’t stop until you drive him away.

Men want to be with women who make them feel comfortable in their own skin.

He doesn’t have to front or hide behind a mask to be acceptable to you.

The pressure of trying to be that idea you have of him is one of the reasons a man falls out of love.

Sometimes, a man just wants to breathe without you telling him he isn’t doing it the right way.

When you are too critical of a man, it just gets to the point that you drive him away from you.

Don’t get me wrong…

Criticism is good when done constructively, and encouraging your man to improve must be done with appreciation of his growth and efforts.

5. You stopped putting effort into the relationship

Love is not all you need for a successful relationship.

A successful relationship is built from the long-term effort of lovers who are conscious that love needs to be nurtured and put in the effort.

If you are complacent about your relationship, you shouldn’t be surprised when your partner falls out of love with you.

Partners need to communicate effectively, spend quality time together, be supportive, and appreciate each other in words and actions.

However, if you have gotten so complacent in a relationship that you leave all of these to the man, then your relationship may be about to end.

You are just all about receiving and you never give anything in return.

The man initiates everything… dates, quality time, conversations, and even gifts, but never receives any.

All these are some of the reasons many men withdraw from their partners and fall out of love.

6. There is another woman

This is another reason men fall out of love.

Some men fall out of love with you because they have fallen in love with another woman.

I have never been able to love two women at the same time and I believe that this must be the case for most men.

If he somehow meets another woman who tickles his fancy, it could be a reason he falls out of love with you.

I know that dissatisfaction may sometimes be the reason why men cheat.

However, there are times when a man has all that he could ever wish for, and yet he cheats.

It is sad, though.

A man who truly loves you knows that he has made a commitment to you and he will never break it lightly.

7. It was never love

Over the ages, the true meaning of love has been watered down.

The closest explanation many of us have for love is the sensation of butterflies in the stomach.

People mistake lust or infatuation for love, which is probably why there are so many issues in relationships today.

If it feels like a man just went from being totally taken by you to looking at you like he never cared about you, the chances are he was just infatuated with you.

You may have misinterpreted the passion of lust or infatuation for love.

In fact, most guys don’t even know the difference.

So, they don’t necessarily lie when they say they love you.

It’s more like a misrepresentation of what they are experiencing.

What may look like a man falling out of love may just be him realizing that he had never been in love with you from the start.

Ultimately, falling out of love is a process.

It doesn’t happen suddenly and you must have ignored the signs that your man is pulling away from you.

If it was truly love, it would be easier to reignite it early.

However, if the love connection in a relationship is allowed to grow cold for too long, it may be hard to fix it.

Love isn’t all that makes a successful relationship.

It must be nurtured by meaningful conversations, quality time, gifts, compliments, and trust.

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