9 Signs A Woman Is Feeling Lonely In Her Marriage - Olubunmi Mabel
I don’t think loneliness and marriage should be mentioned in the same sentence.
Isn’t the whole point of getting married companionship?
You may not agree with me, but if someone is going to end up still feeling lonely after marriage, then should they even get married at all?
Well, let me not speak in absolutes because life isn’t always black and white.
Grey areas exist too.
It’s always good to open your mind to the possibility of certain situations and scenarios that are not the usual.
Such as a woman being lonely in her marriage.
This is an unpleasant place to be in but the first step to fixing it is knowing when it’s happening in the first place.
If a woman is feeling lonely in her marriage, the following signs will be seen.
1. She begs her husband for attention
A woman begging her husband for attention is not normal and should never be seen as such.
More often than not, it tells of the quality of relationship that they share.
It shows that he does not give her time, affection, or attention, so she has to beg for it.
No party in a marriage should have to beg their partner for attention and time and if the woman is doing that, it is a sign that she’s lonely in her marriage.
She wants to feel seen, she wants to be loved, and she wants to be taken care of, and she’s not getting any of that, so she resorts to pleading for it.
2. She complains
Another sign that may be easily seen is that the woman begins to complain a lot.
It’s only natural for people to protest verbally when they’re not treated right.
Perhaps she talks often about how she feels isolated and alone, or she may complain about the emotional distance and lack of communication between her and her husband.
She may also complain about the absence of quality time, and poor intimacy between them.
Some woman may make these complaints to the husbands while others choose to vent to third parties.
Some woman speak gently about these things while others may be more aggressive about it.
However, she goes about it, the message is the same: She feels lonely and she’s not OK with that.
3. She’s always on social media
Social media addiction could just be habitual for her, or it could be a reflection of something going on in her marriage, and loneliness is one of the possibilities.
If a married woman is always going from Facebook to Instagram to TikTok and X for no apparent reason, it may be a sign that not much is going on in her marriage.
Perhaps her husband always has something else to do and leaves her all by herself.
So she has to find a way to use her time.
I remember my married friend sharing about mothers’ chat groups she belongs to on WhatsApp and how certain mothers were always online; even at ungodly hours, they’d chat.
It always baffled her that amid marriage, family life, and their nine-to-five job, they could always gist on the group for hours nonstop.
In fact, one time, the group was mute for a weekend to encourage mothers to bond with their families; surprisingly, these women confessed to feeling so bored and useless without the group.
My friend was shocked and so was I.
Apparently, these women were lonely in their marriages and had found succor in a group of total strangers online.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if her husband is not there for her, something else will take his place, and in this case, it may be social media.
4. She stops showing passion in sex
Sex in marriage is a sacred bond and union.
I’m Christian so I believe that marriage is the only context in which sex is meant to happen.
In marriage, sex is beautiful and perfect, connecting two hearts more deeply.
So, it’s beyond just a meet and greet of two people’s genitals, but it’s an emotional connection.
If a woman feels lonely in her marriage, it may reflect in her response to him during sex.
She may crave it more and act desperate for it or she may become detached and not want it.
The lack of passion for it is due to the fact that the emotional connection she shares with her husband feels diminished or lost.
5. She becomes isolated
A lonely married woman may show isolation.
Loneliness doesn’t always mean the other person is absent.
He might be physically present, but his presence is not felt.
In times like this, the woman may seclude and isolate herself from him.
She may begin to spend more time alone and do stuff by herself even if her husband is present.
Her participation in other activities that don’t involve him may heighten and she begins to do more of what she enjoys doing alone.
This will further worsen the situation because they will have no shared experiences and their bond will be affected.
6. She starts seeing other people
Remember when I said about nature abhorring a vacuum?
Right.
Another way some lonely married women try to remedy for the gap in their lives is through infidelity.
Sometimes cheating happens because the person feels lonely.
They feel deserted so they begin to seek attention from other people.
This may bring temporary relief and fill the emotional void that they have but it’s never right a permanent solution.
Cheating is wrong regardless of the reason for it.
7. Constant arguments
A sudden increase in disagreements and fights between a couple can sometimes be a sign, too, especially when the issues seem to be coming from the woman.
If she is always bringing up issues, it may be a sign that she is lonely.
Perhaps other methods have failed to draw her husband’s attention so she tries something else.
The fights are just a way to draw his attention and make him say that she needs him.
8. She becomes downcast
Loneliness can affect a person’s general well-being and begin to reflect in the quality of their lives.
Human are social beings, created to enjoy and thrive on companionship and community.
This is why the family unit is one that will never cease to exist.
People get married and have children so that their lives can be more full and happy.
When a woman feels abandoned by her husband, or feels unheard, unsupported and disconnected from his life, it may begin to take a toll on her and leave her miserable.
Marriage is a union between two people whose lives and affairs, should become united and aligned as one.
If this is not happening, the woman may become sad.
She begins to yearn for the man’s attention, affection, and affirmation and this contributes to her feeling downcast or even depressed.
She may begin to experience symptoms of depression due to the dissatisfaction and loneliness in her marriage.
Some women even begin to experience physical signs such as fatigue, low energy levels, headaches, and so on
9. She feels rejected and begins to question the marriage
If the loneliness is prolonged and nothing is done about it, the woman may begin to feel unloved by her partner.
After all, if he loved her, he wouldn’t be making her feel sad and alone.
She may also begin to reflect, thinking about the loneliness she feels, and questioning the state of her marriage.
Her interest in the marriage may go down and she may stops putting in efforts and time in to it, feeling resigned to the loneliness she feels.
That’s bad news for her husband and marriage and if nothing is done immediately these signs are seen, the marriage stands the risk of crumbling.
Loneliness is difficult to deal with especially in a marriage where your partner should always be there for you.
If these signs are seen, the issue should be careful approached and addressed.
To address it, the couple should embrace open and effective communication.
If weightier issues are causing the rift or distance, I recommend that they engage the services of a professional marriage counselor.
