In the summer of 1972, just weeks before terrorists massacred a group of Israeli Olympians in Munich and the Watergate scandal broke in Washington, D.C., Bill Withers climbed to the top of the pop music charts with his most famous track, “Lean on Me.” A declaration of relational fidelity and reliability, its lyrics encourage the listener, 

Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend,
I’ll help you carry on . . .
For it won’t be long until I need someone
To lean on.

Withers taps into something intrinsic to all of us: we must depend on other people. As Christians we understand that while friendship, marriage, and relationships are vital, we don’t ultimately lean on them. We’re called to “Trust in the LORD forever, because inthe LORD, the LORD himself, is an everlasting rock!” (Isa. 26:4). However, in our independent, do-it-myself culture, our tendency is not to lean too much on other people (which is itself a problem), but to depend too heavily on ourselves. We carry the supposed omniscience of Google in our pockets, and with that we’re armed to face any challenge or problem. We’ve become wise in our own eyes, having outgrown our need for the “crutch” of God. 

I tend to lean on my own understanding. Do you? 

What Does It Mean to “Lean”?

Before we go farther, let’s define our terms. What exactly does it mean to lean? One dictionary defines it this way: “To cast one’s weight to one side for support.”1 Think of a person leaning on a cane with every step to take some weight off of one hip. Or think of a tired hiker taking a much-needed break by resting against a tree. Or picture a group of workers leaning on their shovels watching one poor bloke do the actual labor. The cane, the tree, the shovel—they each bear the weight of the one leaning. If you’ve ever attempted to throw your weight against something that didn’t prove strong enough to handle it, you know how important it is to lean on the right thing. 

But how do you know if you’ve begun to throw your weight in the wrong direction? 

Sign #1: Prayerlessness

The first sign that you might be leaning on your own understanding rather than trusting in the Lord is that you neglect prayer. Often, prayer feels like a last resort. When we’ve exhausted every other resource, chased down every lead, and come to the end of our rope, then in a defeated voice we say, “I guess all I can do is pray.” While prayer should not exclude action, neither should action exclude prayer. 

Paul exhorts us to “pray constantly” (1 Thess. 5:17) and that we should do everything by “prayer and petition” (Phil. 4:6). Likewise, Peter tells us to throw all of our cares upon God, knowing that His love for us is assured (1 Pet. 5:7). 

Nothing could be easier than bowing your head in a quick prayer for help, yet prayer frequently falls by the wayside. As people of action, we want to solve the problem, to move ahead, to get things done. This leads us to lean heavily on our own wisdom, point of view, and resources. 

Sign #2: Wordlessness

 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did whatever seemed right to him. (Judges 21:25)

Judges closes on a dark scene with a dismal assessment of Israel. In the final chapters of the book, we see the astonishing extent of the nation’s moral collapse. Idolatry, civil war, gang rape, and mass murder—these events shock us to our core and leave us wondering, “How did we get here?” The author offers a simple yet stark answer: “everyone did whatever seemed right to him.” Or, as Solomon might put it, everyone leaned on his own understanding. Of course, this isn’t the place that Disney princesses promise our hearts will lead us, but it is exactly where God’s Word guarantees we’ll end up when we ignore the revealed precepts of God (Rom. 1:21–25). 

Another symptom of leaning on your own understanding is a neglect of God’s Word and a persistence in doing what seems right. No, Scripture won’t tell you precisely which car to buy, job to take, man to marry, or offer to accept. But that doesn’t mean that it has nothing to offer us when it comes to decision-making. God’s Word has plenty to say about stewardship, relationships, treasure, marriage, and priorities. Failure to take into account God’s instruction about any of these things puts us on a dangerous path, and there’s no telling where it might lead. 

Maybe you’re not sure where to turn in God’s Word for help in making the everyday decisions of life. You think it sounds good, but you’re just not sure how to start. Turn to a wise friend who is grounded in Scripture to help you. While she must not replace the counsel of God, she can help you develop your skills of discernment. In fact, another sign of leaning on your own understanding is the tendency to neglect or ignore godly counsel. The wise person listens to wisdom; the fool hears the same advice and spurns it, turning instead to his own desires (Prov. 12:15). 

Sign #3: Shortsightedness

The final symptom of leaning on your own understanding rather than trusting in the Lord is to focus solely on the temporal while forgetting about the eternal. Because we live in earth-bound bodies, or as Paul calls them, “tents” (2 Cor. 5:1–2), we easily lose sight of the eternal land of which we are truly citizens. Instead of storing up treasure in heaven, we squirrel away temporary, earthly goodies such as health, youthfulness, financial comfort, a powerful name, or a Pinterest-perfect home. While none of these things are of themselves sinful, they can easily mutate into sadistic idols ready to take over our hearts and lead us into Satan’s pernicious traps. 

Trusting in God often seems counter-intuitive and totally contrary to what makes sense to onlookers. Why would anyone downsize their house just to give money to a missionary? Why would anyone give up a lucrative corporate position to go teach at a Christian school? Why would a family struggling to make ends meet give away ten percent of their income every month? From the earthly perspective, none of these things make even a whiff of sense. But when viewed through the lens of eternity and heavenly treasure, they snap into perfect focus. 

Let’s be honest: trusting God and squelching our own understanding is hard. If it were easy, it would be called “sight” rather than “faith.” Truly it’s a lifelong learning curve. But may our final words be something like these from the mouth of 120-year-old Moses, faithful leader of the “stiff-necked” and rebellious wilderness generation: 

There is none like the God of Jeshurun,
who rides the heavens to your aid,
the clouds in his majesty.
The God of old is your dwelling place,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He drives out the enemy before you
and commands, “Destroy!” (Deuteronomy 33:26–27)

Although God’s name is never mentioned in the book of Esther, the imprint of His remarkable ways is displayed through her entire story. Learn to trust His hand and discover His plan when you request Esther: Trusting God’s Plan, a six-week study based on the teaching of Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. We’d love to send you a copy this month as our thanks for your donation of any amount to help women thrive in Christ.

1 Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “lean,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lean.