Billy Graham rule may not be a good idea for some (a different reason why)

By Elizabeth Prata

A very famous married elderly Reformed preacher was forced to confess he had been having a five-year-long affair with a woman almost 50 years younger than he. He was fired from his preaching position, ejected from the ministry he founded, and rejected in his many other ministry positions of authority and prestige.

The shock went around the world. Literally. The ensuing shock is still reverberating. Some insiders have said, “No one saw this coming.” Not that they disbelieved that anyone can sin into adultery, but no one saw it coming from this man in particular.

Al Mohler spoke about this situation, answering a question he’d been asked as to whether pastors falling due to adultery are happening more frequently these days. It seemed so to the questioner.

Moher said that he “doesn’t sense an increase in number but an increase in public damage to the church of Jesus Christ. The effect of the issue upon the church and the ministry of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is so grievous“

Mohler also quoted advice given him by an elder honorable Christian man,

You will never have sex with a woman not your wife, if you are never alone with a woman not your wife.”

In the aftermath of this news, people have been discussing the background of Mohler’s quip, the Billy Graham Rule. (BGR)

The BGR is a rule that 20th century evangelist Bill Graham instituted for himself never to be alone with a woman not his wife. As a traveling evangelist, he was subject to gossip and speculation, particularly in the wake of traveling religious men before him who had been charlatans.

“Graham tells the story of when he was walking along a quiet street with his 18-year-old daughter: the next day, the local paper printed the story that Graham was “again” seen with a beautiful, young woman, insinuating that Graham’s sexual exploits were beginning to be a problem,” explains Kurt Edwards in his dissertation “Billy Graham, Elmer Gantry, and the Performance Of A New American Revivalism“

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Graham himself had said of the issue, “There is always the chance of misunderstanding. I remember walking down the street in New York with my beautiful blond daughter, Bunny. I was holding her hand. I heard somebody behind us say, ‘There goes Billy Graham with one of those blond girls.'” (Source).

These rumors bothered Graham, who wanted to maintain a pure reputation. He had recently read the devastating book Elmer Gantry, about the perseverance, rise, and ultimate success of a corrupt preacher who was in fact a false convert. This book spooked Graham. He was concerned enough with his reputation in light of the Gantry book and subsequent movie, that in 1948 “while in Modesto, California, he [Graham] gathered close advisers, including Grady and T.W. Wilson, Cliff Barrows, and Bev Shea” wrote Edwards, to discuss how to handle this kind of attention.

The issues they were concerned about were money, sexual
immorality, discord with local churches, and telling journalists the true numbers of attendees (not inflating the truth when speaking of publicity) – these “rules” were to help squash any issues with these 4 problems and became known as “The Modesto Manifesto”.

The rule Graham had about maintaining sexual purity was that he would never travel alone, nor would he meet with or eat alone with any woman other than his wife. But there is an interesting twist to that Rule many people do not know. More on that below.

It was a purposeful strategy to ignore the Elmer Gantry-ish excesses of the famous American evangelists who’d come before him. And it worked like magic. When scandals destroyed some of his imitators in the 1980s, like Jim and Tammy Bakker, Graham’s operation looked even more like a model of rectitude in comparison. (Rolling Stone, The Soul Crushing Legacy of Billy Graham).

BGR or BGR-ish Can Be Good

I have an issue with the Billy Graham Rule, and it is not what you think. I believe the wisdom behind the Rule is good. It is NOT wise for a man, clergy, pastor, counselor to meet alone with a woman. Not professionally and certainly not personally. Not even in public, as in a restaurant, mall, or park. I also believe it is not a good idea to frequently text or email or phone call a woman who is not his wife, an added caveat since new technology has been invented since Billy Graham was around.

It was not holiness that prompted Graham and his cohorts to formulate this rule. It was not to establish guardrails for the purpose of maintaining discipline so God gets the glory.

It was performance. It was to create an external appearance in order to glorify self.

Some may take issue with what I’m saying here. But I’ve done a lot of thinking about Billy Graham and even more study on his life and ministry. Much. I don’t say these things lightly or without reason or substantiation. I know some won’t like it because some idolize him. That’s fine. Their opinion. I have mine.

As a side note, I’ve read Stephen King’s The Mist, Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, Lovecraft…and Elmer Gantry. Let me say that Elmer Gantry out-horrored them all and was the most chilling, horrific book I ever read. It definitely leaves an impression.

Throughout Billy Graham’s career, the evangelist sought performative manners to ensure that he would not be perceived as another “Elmer Gantry”, or huckster preacher out to win money, fame, and favor. Graham’s intent was to grow a ministry that would form a new performance paradigm for American revivalism. Graham prepared as an actor to use his gifts, train his voice and body, to write a different style of script, to capitalize on celebrity, and to embrace new media forms that would bring his message around the world thus creating a “New” revivalism while at the same time distancing himself from being seen as the character in Sinclair Lewis’ novel Elmer Gantry…” ~Dr. Ronald E. Shields, Bowling Green State University.

Why I am suspicious about the BGR

Graham decided not to sup alone, be seen with, or in any way be tainted by the notion that he was alone with a woman not his wife in public, and this included his daughters.

This is my issue and it’s why I deem it performance, a whitewashed tomb rather than a God-glorifying pursuit of purity.

He sacrificed his girls on the altar of personal reputation. It wasn’t for the glory of God. It was so people would think he was a highly moral person. We see this conceptually in the Modesto discussions, and we see in reality at the abandonment of his daughters for the sake of being well thought of.

“From that point on, Graham would not to travel, meet, or dine alone with any woman other than his wife Ruth — even his very own daughters when they came of age.” ~Edwards

Evangelists were often separated from their families during long periods of time and could be tempted with immorality (at least to do things that were disparate with what they were preaching for or against). The team pledged to avoid even the appearance of compromise. From that day forward, Graham never traveled alone, nor did he meet or eat alone with any woman other than his wife (including his teenage daughters). ~paraphrasing William Martin’s book, “A Prophet with Honor: The Billy Graham Story.

So: the entire point about me cautioning with regard to the Billy Graham Rule is —

MOTIVE

You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend what you request on your pleasures.
(James 4:3)

All the ways of a person are clean in his own sight, But the LORD examines the motives. (Proverbs 16:2)

The Pharisees were ALL ABOUT performance. Jesus called them out on it. He said they stand on corners (busy location) so they would be seen They didn’t wash, so they would be seen. They pulled long faces at fasting, so they would be seen. When they tithed they sounded trumpets. They sought the chief seats at banquets. All so they would be praised and glorified.

Then the Lord said, “Because this people approaches Me with their words And honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far away from Me, (Isaiah 29:13).

Practicing righteousness to heap glory onto one’s self is a worthless endeavor.

Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 6:1)

CAUTION

As you think about the BGR, ponder your motives. And sin being what it is, even if you’ve instituted such a rule for yourself at the start based on wanting to give glory to God through a holy lifestyle, over time it can become hardened and rigid, and become one of many rules that are void of worship and instead by now are just a performance. A rule for the sake of a rule.

For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10).

That question should always be utmost in our minds. WHY do we do the things we do? Is what I am doing out of love and submission to the Savior? Am I pursuing holiness for the sake of God getting glory, or for myself so as to be well thought of? Has it become rote, and devoid of meaning and worship?

but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not intending to please people, but to please God, who examines our hearts. (1 Thessalonians 2:4)