Watching my kids play sports has been so educational for me. I am incredibly proud of them for working through failure, for staying humble and for showing up again and again when they really don’t feel like it. It’s hard to watch them deal with frustration and disappointment, but I realize it’s also so important for them to learn to work through these feelings. I also see how often this is a testimony to me in my own hard things.

The temptation often when we are in a hard place is to believe either it’s our fault (so we are being punished) or it means we should quit and do an easier thing.

The truth is that sometimes we do make stupid decisions and deal with the consequences of those, but even in those choices we can know God and move into His power to deal with whatever hard things are part of our lives. Blaming ourselves or someone else doesn’t make the difficult situations easier—and often just makes us bitter and angry.

I also don’t believe God punishes us for sin—He already laid all of that on Jesus’ back, and when we try to take that on, we are basically stating that Jesus’ sacrifice for us wasn’t enough and we need to take some of it as well. Also, the Bible promises that we will experience suffering, tribulation and pain. We are not going to avoid these things because we have relationship with Jesus, but we will experience His carrying us through them when we do. Suffering, then, isn’t always a result of our behavior, and can sometimes be just another place to know Jesus in the middle of it. If it was the consequence of sin, we don’t bear punishment but rather we realize that God shows up to bring His power even in the results of stupid decisions and get us through. He doesn’t abandon us and hope we figure it out.

Of course, some hard things are chosen for us and we can’t choose to do anything easier! Physical disabilities and illnesses, other people’s choices in relationships, lingering results of trauma, place of birth, and so many more problems are not something we’ve chosen or have power to control. There are no easy solutions or quick fixes.

When we have to face a hard thing in our lives, we can often only choose our Source and our attitude about it. Our Source is Jesus’ Life within, who is available all the time to provide everything we need for moment-by-moment living in a difficult place. He knows better than us what we need and He can carry us through something that seems impossible.

We also get to choose our attitude, as when we focus on bitterness, anger or the unfairness of it, we go downhill quickly. That’s not to say that we can’t have emotion about the pain—I think it makes sense to have sadness, anger, disappointment, discouragement and even sometimes despair. But we bring all those emotions and lay them at the feet of Jesus, who leads us gently as our Shepherd. When we focus on the hope we have in Him, we change our attitude about the hard thing. Refocusing doesn’t make our problems go away, but it does give us a perspective that the problems are not overwhelming or controlling.

When we face hard things, which are a part of life, we don’t do ourselves any favors by blaming or sitting in self-criticism. Instead, we get to choose our Source and our focus. When Jesus is our Source for all we need for the hard thing, nothing is impossible. And when He is our focus, we can have hope, joy and peace no matter what surrounds us.

I know what it means to lack, and I know what I means to experience overwhelming abundance. For I’m trained in the secret of overcoming all things, whether in fullness or in hunger. And I find that the strength of Christ’s explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty. Philippians 4:12-13