Even If: Living with Hope and Joy in the Unresolved

Years ago, when I was in the throes of infertility, I would often be at a church function and hear a speaker talk about her own struggle with this issue and how the Lord had worked in her life. Then she would reach the climax of her story, sharing about the surprise pregnancy, the blessing of the children now in her family, then giving praise to God. The crowd would break out in cheers and applause.

As they should.

But in the depths of my heart, I wondered, What if I never have a child? What if my struggle never resolves with that happy ending? Can I still stand up and proclaim the goodness of the Lord?

God did resolve that struggle with a “happy ending.” After eight years of infertility, my husband and I adopted a little boy, then two years later got that surprise pregnancy. I praise God for how He worked through my life in that time of struggle to teach me lessons of surrender and acceptance of His plan. I thank Him for granting the desire of my heart to be a mom. I love recounting our story to others, sharing His goodness in my life.

But since then, there have been other difficulties where I’ve cried out for resolution, and He has said no, at least for the moment. When I look ahead, I don’t see a resolution on the horizon. That barring a miracle, I will deal with this issue for the rest of my earthly life.

And I know I’m not the only one.

I think of that woman whose unbelieving husband never comes to Christ. The parent of a prodigal child who never comes back. The young woman battling a painful autoimmune disease with no cure or relief in sight. Or the person deeply wounded by someone who committed a serious wrong and the culprit never repents or is brought to justice.

How do we continue to put one foot in front of the other, living with hope, with joy, even if we never get the outcome we long for on this side of heaven? How can we continue to proclaim the goodness of God in both the good and the hard?

A Song That Hits Home

A few weeks ago, my husband and I attended a MercyMe concert. As they sang one of our favorite songs, the crowd in the packed arena joined together in unison, echoing the words of the chorus:

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone.

I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone.¹

I felt my heart stir as the song reminded me that my ultimate hope isn’t in the resolution of my situation but in Christ alone. I left the concert profoundly encouraged, yet still wrestling with how to apply this to daily life.

How am I living in my circumstances? I thought. Do I have joy in the Lord? Am I trusting Him to do whatever He thinks best, even if it’s not what I want?

Two Examples in Scripture

As I’ve mulled over these questions the last few weeks, God has reminded me of two specific situations in His Word.

The first is the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. As a child, I loved to hear how these three men loved God and refused to bow down to the golden statue. I was captivated as my Sunday school teacher gently smoothed their paper figures on a flannel board, telling the exciting tale of how their devotion to God resulted in them being thrown into a blazing furnace.

Yet God protected them. Daniel 3 recounts that “the fire had no effect on the bodies of these men” (v. 27). In fact, “not a hair of their heads was singed, their robes were unaffected, and there was no smell of fire on them.”

However, there’s one section of the story I overlooked as a child:

“Nebuchadnezzar, we don’t need to give you an answer to this question. If the God we serve exists, then he can rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and he can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But even if he does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.” (vv. 16–18, emphasis added)

Even if.

These men knew that God had the power to rescue them. But they were ready to accept His will even if God chose not to rescue them. They faced the fiery furnace with confidence and unwavering faith in the One who had sustained them as they lived in Babylonian captivity.

God did choose to rescue them, but Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t know how things would turn out. They had no idea we’d be telling their story thousands of years later. They simply knew who God was and that He could be trusted.

The second story God brought to mind was that of the apostle Paul. This was a man who had suffered so much in order to share the gospel. He had endured imprisonment, beatings, stonings, opposition from both the Jews and the Gentiles, and more.

On top of all of that, the Lord gave Paul a “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7) to keep him from becoming arrogant and prideful over a vision. We don’t know what this thorn was specifically, but Paul describes it as something that tormented him. Three times he asked God to take it away, but each time God said no.

In fact, God’s specific answer was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (1 Cor. 12:9).

This painful thorn continued to be a hardship for Paul for the rest of his life. But Paul accepted God’s answer and chose to praise Him for it (vv. 9–10). Even though his thorn wasn’t going to be taken away, he would gladly serve the Lord because his suffering would allow Christ’s power to shine through his life.

Putting It into Practice

So often when I’m going through hard circumstances, I get in a funk. I lose motivation. I ride the ups and downs of the situation like a rollercoaster, letting my emotions ebb and flow according to the moment.

But this is not where I want to live. As a Christian, I know there is hope and joy to be found in the Lord that I won’t find anywhere else. At least my head knows it. I want my heart to know it too, and I want this truth to be evident in my daily life.

And it’s in another letter from Paul (Romans 8:18–39) that we find several truths that show how we can put this into practice.

• We remember that the suffering and struggles we’re going through right now can’t even compare with the glory that God will reveal in us one day (v. 18).

When you’re suffering, it’s hard to think past the present moment. And it’s difficult to see what purpose this situation could possibly serve. Yet Paul reminds us that these circumstances are just a blip on the screen of eternity and pale in comparison to the amazing future God has planned for us.

• We hope for what we do not see—and we can eagerly await it with patience (vv. 24–25).

As Christ-followers, our hope is in the finished work of Christ on the cross. He defeated sin and death on our behalf and promised His disciples that He was preparing a place for them—and for us too (John 14:2–3)! We can’t see that place right now, but we can trust He will fulfill His promise in His perfect timing.

• When we don’t know what to pray for or what to say, we cry out to the Holy Spirit to help us (vv. 26–27).

Often in a painful situation, I’ve been crying out to God for so long that I no longer know the best way to pray. But the good news is I don’t have to. The Holy Spirit knows what to say and intercedes on our behalf.

• We hold on to the truth that God has a purpose for our lives—and it’s a good one (v. 28).

Whatever we’re going through isn’t in vain—our suffering is not for nothing, as Elisabeth Elliot has said. God has a purpose even in the painful. And while He might not let us glimpse the overall picture of the story He’s painting in our lives, we can trust that it’s a good one.

• We remember that God is for us, so much so that He had Jesus die on our behalf (vv. 31–32).

God is on our side. If we ever start to forget that fact, just remember that “He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21). Our heavenly Father sent His beloved Son to earth with the full knowledge that Jesus would have to die a horrible death and take the full brunt of every single one of our sins—and He did it for you and for me.

• We are assured that Jesus is at the right hand of God, interceding on our behalf (v. 34).

Jesus Christ is sitting beside God, actively putting our requests before His Father. Knowing that He’s pleading our case, even in this very moment, should encourage us as we navigate the challenges of life here on earth.

• We can trust that there is absolutely nothing—nothing!!—that can ever separate us from the love of Christ (vv. 38–39).

Even though it may not feel like it at times, the truth is that no hardship can ever separate you from God’s love. Living with a difficult spouse or child? No. An illness that will never go away? Double no. Consequences that you’re facing because of some unwise choices? Absolutely not. God’s love is greater than anything you’ll ever encounter.

More Than Conquerors

Because of these reasons, Paul says that we are more than conquerors (v. 37). A conqueror is someone who overcomes, who vanquishes, who wins. We can walk through the difficult circumstances of life knowing that because of who Jesus is and what He has done for us, in the end we win.

In the meantime, we can respond to whatever we’re going through with hope and joy, choosing day by day and sometimes minute by minute to trust the One who loves us and gave His life for us. We can—I can—face any difficulty, even if it seems as though it may never be resolved, by remembering that Jesus gives me hope beyond the hard things of today.

And one day, when we are finally in heaven (the true country, as C.S. Lewis calls it), He will wipe away every tear and “death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4). In the meantime, we can choose to proclaim the goodness of God—in the good and the hard and everything in-between.

The message of freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ is spreading far and wide—like a river that cannot be stopped. It’s reaching more women, leading them to thrive in Christ, and shaping lives for generations to come. Would you prayerfully join us in this work? We’d love to send you the 50 Promises to Live By Card Set this month as our thanks for your donation of any amount to help women thrive in Christ. May it be a constant reminder of God’s unchanging care for you. 

¹ MercyMe, “Even If,” by Bart Millard, David Garcia, Ben Glover, Crystal Lewis, and Tim Timmons, Fair Trade Services, track 1 on Lifer, 2017, digital audio.