Have You Been to the Church of Sheila?

Have you visited the Church of Sheila? It’s in your neighborhood. In fact, a branch of this church could even be in your own house.

My apologies to a few of my friends named Sheila. I didn’t attach your name to this religion; I’m only reporting on it. The church of Sheila—or more accurately the practice of Sheilaism —has been around a long time, but it wasn’t so named until the mid-1980s.

Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life came out in 1985 and looked at, among other things, the shift in how Americans practice religion. We’ve shifted from the time of the Pilgrims when public worship—specifically, public worship of the God of the Bible—was required to today when religion is private (and quite diverse). The book’s initial observations are almost forty years old, but they still appear quite on target.

But let’s get back to Sheila.

Although not her real name, Sheila is the name the sociologists gave to a young nurse who described herself this way:

I believe in God. I’m not a religious fanatic. I can’t remember the last time I went to church. My faith has carried me a long way. It’s Sheilaism. Just my own little voice … It’s just try to love yourself and be gentle with yourself. You know, I guess, take care of each other. I think He would want us to take care of each other.[1]

Sheilaism is simply creating your own religion. That sounds way too formal and organized, so let me say it another way. Sheilaism is determining for yourself what is true and right. It’s viewing God as you choose to see him (or her or it). Sheilaism is coming up with your own set of beliefs and rules.

Most of us don’t give a name to it, but Sheilaism is the anthem of our culture: You believe what you want to believe, and I’ll believe what I want to believe. Now leave me alone.

To practice Sheilaism, you need no other standard than yourself. No sacred text. No revelation. No outside source. Just you. Sure, you can borrow an idea or two from Christianity, something from Buddhism, or maybe the opinion of some influencer on Instagram. Sheilaism tells you to create your own recipe and put in whatever is palatable to you.

But is it digestible? We put a lot of foods in our mouths that taste good but are bad for us. (I’m looking at you, deep-fried Twinkie.) And whatever philosophical concoction you choose to believe—your own version of Sheilaism—may taste good to you, but it can be harmful. Seriously harmful.

“There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death” (Prov. 16:25).

The older I get, the more I don’t know. I keep discovering there is so much I do not know. Who am I to think up my own religious beliefs, trusting that I am right? There is so much in science and the world around me I can’t understand without someone knowledgeable explaining it to me, so what makes me think I can figure out the weightier matters of life, morals, ethics, and eternity on my own?

“If anyone thinks he knows anything, he does not yet know it as he ought to know it” (1 Cor. 8:2).

Join me in this. Let’s reject our own versions of Sheilaism and choose instead to look to God and what He has revealed about Himself and the way things are. I’ve discovered that His standards are far better than mine. Humanly, I want to hold on to my plans. I want to do what I want to do, but I’ve discovered that when I let go and obediently trust God, life is better. Life is not always easy, but it is always better.

“How happy is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!” (Ps. 128:1).


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[1] Bellah, Robert N., et al, Habits of the Hearts: Individualism and Commitment in American Life (Harper Collins, 1985), 221.


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