How Long Can a Man Stay Without Physical Intimacy? 10 Factors That Determine It - Olubunmi Mabel

As a society, we seem to have a fascination with sex and everything related to it. 

Can you blame us?

Sex is one of the most pleasurable experiences that humans can have, and we are grateful to God for this beautiful gift.

Knowing how amazing and powerful physical intimacy is, how long can a man actually stay without it?

There isn’t a clear-cut answer to this question, as there are many factors that can determine how long a man can stay without sex.

How Long Can a Man Stay Without Sex? 10 Factors That Determine It 

1. Personal values

Values are everything!

I mean, everything.

Values are simply the things that matter most to us and guide our thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

Personal values are deeply personal and unique to each of us.

For some guys, their values are like a strong oak tree, deeply rooted in religious, cultural, or personal beliefs that sex should be reserved for the right person and at the right time.

This is my value, too, which is rooted in my faith as a Christian.

I believe in the Bible’s teachings on sex and relationships, which advocate for sexual intimacy within the context of marriage.

For men who hold similar values, they may choose to abstain from sex until they find their life partner.

In this case, a man can go his whole life without sex if he never gets married.

Yes, that’s how strong personal values can be.

And there are those who may have different values, and they may choose to engage in sexual activities more frequently.

You know they say if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

Without strong personal values, anything goes, and a man’s sexual behavior may be guided only by his desires and impulses.

So, just as our tastes in food, music, and hobbies vary, so too do our views on how long we can or want to go without sex.

2. Relationship status

Not everyone is a fan of casual hookups or one-night stands.

Some men believe sex is only enjoyable and satisfying when they are emotionally connected to their partner.

If a man is single or not in a committed relationship, he may choose to abstain from sex until he finds someone whom he can connect with on an emotional level.

The length of time without sex may depend on how long it takes for him to find that special someone.

But a man who is in a committed relationship or married may have more regular access to sex and may not go very long without it.

3. Age

It’s no secret that hormones play an undeniable role in our sexual desires and behaviors.

As men age, their hormone levels change, which can affect their libido and sexual performance.

Men who are at the mercy of hormonal fluctuations may find themselves going longer periods without sex as they age.

That’s why women who marry very much older me are usually given the side-eye.

Hehehe

Like, sis, how do you plan to make it work in the other room?

Winks

It’s no surprise some of these younger wives seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

4. Physical health

Just because sex is pleasurable doesn’t mean you don’t need to be in good physical condition to have it.

As a matter of fact, your physical health plays a huge role in your sex life.

It’s like the foundation of a house.

If the foundation isn’t stable, the house might have some problems.

Men who have physical health issues may find it difficult or even impossible to engage in sexual activities.

This could be due to various reasons, such as chronic illnesses, injuries, or medication side effects.

A man may go for extended periods without sex while dealing with his health issues.

Health is wealth.

When you are ill, your primary focus is on getting better and not worrying about sex.

Of course, men who are physically fit and healthy may have a higher sex drive and engage in sexual activities more frequently.

5. Mental health

Mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to sexual desire and performance.

Stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can greatly affect a man’s libido and ability to engage in sexual activities.

For example, excessive stress may cause a decrease in testosterone, which is a key hormone for sexual desire.

Mental health issues can also affect a man’s self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to engage in intimate activities.

There’s more to sex than just doing the do.

Being confident and in the right state of mind plays a big role in enjoying sex, and if a man knows he won’t enjoy it, he may choose to abstain.

6. Pornography use

One of the enemies of true intimacy in marriage is pornography.

Yes, I said it.

Watching pornography can distort a man’s view of sex and relationships, leading to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction with real-life sexual experiences.

Have you seen how perfect women ‘s bodies look in those videos?

And you expect to see that exact same thing in real life.

Lol

So, a man who regularly watches pornography may have little desire for real-life sexual experiences because they feel like it doesn’t measure up to what they see on their screen.

In fact, some studies have shown that excessive pornography use can lead to erectile dysfunction and desensitization to normal sexual stimuli.

7. Availability of alternative outlets

You’d be surprised how many different ways people find to channel their sexual energy when the real deal isn’t on the table.

Some men pour that energy into hobbies, sports, or even their careers.

Ever heard of someone getting super ripped at the gym or painting a masterpiece when they’re on a sex hiatus?

Yep, that’s sexual energy being redirected into something productive and fulfilling.

And then, there are those who might turn to masturbation as a temporary substitute.

It may not be the same as having sex with a partner, but it’s still an outlet for sexual release.

8. Cultural beliefs

Just like personal values, cultural beliefs, and societal norms shape our views on sex and relationships.

Around the globe, every culture has its unique stance on sexuality, influencing how individuals perceive and engage in sexual activities.

For instance, some cultures celebrate sexual freedom and expression, promoting open conversations and education about sex from a young age.

There are societies where sex is a taboo topic, wrapped in layers of secrecy and stigma, leading individuals to adopt more conservative views towards sex and intimacy.

I’m Nigerian, and you’d hear young people say jokingly that African parents expect you to get married without having a boyfriend. lol

I remember growing up, my dad would ask me hundreds of questions if he saw me with a male friend.

I was like, “Dad, he’s just a friend!” But in his mind, I was already pregnant with triplets.

So, depending on the cultural beliefs and values one grows up with can greatly influence one’s sexual behaviors and how long one can go without sex.

9. Past experiences

When you burn your hand on the stove, you’re more likely to be careful around hot objects in the future.

The same applies to past sexual experiences.

If a man has had negative or traumatic experiences with sex in the past, he may be hesitant to engage in sexual activities and may go for longer periods without it.

Past hurts, emotional distress or betrayals can lead a man to tread cautiously, maybe taking longer breaks from sexual activities while he heals or rebuilds trust.

However, positive experiences can boost a man’s confidence and desire, making him more likely to engage in sexual activities more frequently.

10. Low libido partner

Sometimes, the reason a guy might find himself on a bit of a sex hiatus isn’t entirely about him; it could be because his wife just isn’t that into it.

So, the real challenge isn’t about his own desire but rather the mismatch between his and his partner’s sex drive.

Imagine being all revved up with no place to go because your spouse just isn’t in the mood.

Not everyone’s running on the same sexual energy level, and sometimes, one partner might just have a lower libido than the other.

This can lead to frustrations and feelings of rejection, causing the higher-libido partner to go without sex for longer periods.

When a man is tired of being rejected, he might just decide to take matters into his own hands and abstain altogether.

As you can see, there is no set time frame for how long a man can go without sex.

It varies from person to person and is influenced by factors I wrote about above.

I’m sure there are more factors I didn’t touch on, but these are some of the main reasons.