If A Man Truly Loves You He'll Ditch These 10 Things For You - Olubunmi Mabel
I’ve heard different schools of thought on whether love can change a person’s behavior.
Some people believe that expecting someone to change just because they’re in love with you is faulty reasoning, and you should be able to accept them the way they are.
While others say we all can improve and be better, it’s sometimes the push you need to become a better person when you fall in love.
Sometimes, it’s not necessarily about becoming a better person; it’s just about changing certain behaviors to become more compatible with the one you love.
I believe that if a man truly loves you, he’ll be willing to let go of certain things for your sake.
This applies to habits, lifestyles, and even people, as long as they don’t serve a positive purpose in your relationship.
While he may not do a complete 360 degree for you, he will be willing to loosen his grip and let go of certain things for your sake because he loves you.
Let us look at some of those things.
If A Man Truly Loves You He’ll Ditch These 10 Things For You
1. Other women
If a man truly loves you, he’ll ditch other women for you.
It’s as simple as that.
A man who still toys with the idea or constantly gets involved with other women is not a man in love.
If he’s in love with you, he’ll let go of other romantic interests or flirtations, focusing solely on you.
Even if he was previously entertaining attention from other women, he’d drop it without hesitation.
A man in love will no longer engage in those “harmless” flirtatious conversations, making it clear that you’re the only one he wants.
He’ll even delete old photos or messages from an ex because he knows his future is with you.
2. Excess toughness
He’s only a hard guy when he’s not in love.
When a man is in love, he becomes like a baby.
Things like excessive pride, emotional toughness, and stubbornness don’t even stand a chance.
He subconsciously lets go of them all.
He’ll willingly drop his ego when it comes to arguments or disagreements with you and choose to work things out rather than stubbornly holding onto his pride.
In many cases, a man in love is not ashamed of coming back to you after a fight, ready to apologize and talk things through because he values peace with you more than being “right.”
He’ll lower his emotional defenses, allowing himself to be vulnerable and open with you, sharing his deepest fears and insecurities, and trusting that you’ll accept him for who he is.
A man in love can’t be stubborn; even if he is, he becomes docile when it comes to decisions that affect both of you.
A man who isn’t willing to compromise on decisions like where you both will live, what to have for dinner, or how you’ll spend holidays is not in love with you.
When he’s in love with you, he will value your input and happiness.
3. Damaging habits
Some habits adversely affect a person’s life and, by extension, their partner’s life.
Bad habits like excessive drinking, smoking, or unhealthy eating can negatively impact a relationship.
Add offense, anger, and grudges to the list.
These things hinder the growth of a relationship in various ways.
If he’s in love with you, he’ll be ready to ditch late-night partying because he knows it’s important to you that he takes care of his health.
He’ll also let go of past hurts or grudges, forgive and forget past disagreements, and focus on building a positive future together instead.
4. Not wanting to commit
When I hear someone say, “I’m afraid of commitments,” I just know that person is not in love.
When you fall in love, many times, you would have made some level of commitment before you remember your phobia of it.
This is in no way trying to invalidate people’s past experiences and trauma.
People can have a genuine fear of commitments due to negative past experiences, but if they hold on to the fear and refuse to commit, then maybe they’re not really in love.
When he’s in love, he’ll let go of any fear or reluctance to commit, showing that you that he’s serious about building a future with you.
I’ve seen guys who used to shy away from long-term plans suddenly talking about marriage, kids, and a life together just because they met the woman they love.
If he truly loves you, there will be signs.
5. Time with the boys
When a man truly loves you, his priorities shift in a way that reflects the value you hold in his life.
It’s not that he suddenly abandons everything else, but he begins to carefully balance his time and energy, making sure you’re at the forefront of his life.
Imagine a guy who’s into late-night video gaming marathons or weekend hangouts with his friends, where they spend hours talking about sports, cars, or life in general.
These moments are part of who he is—they give him joy and relaxation.
However, when he meets someone he genuinely loves, those habits start to take a backseat.
He’s not forced to give them up because spending time with you becomes more rewarding than any virtual victory or endless chat.
Take football games, for instance.
He might be the kind of guy who never misses a match with his friends, but when it clashes with a special date night or something meaningful to you, he’s likely to choose the latter.
And here’s the thing: it’s not a begrudging decision; he’ll willingly forgo the time spent with his boys because he values the connection he’s building with you.
He’ll even enjoy it!
Love has this way of turning things upside down in a beautiful way—things that used to seem essential now pale in comparison to nurturing the relationship.
6. Bad influence
Love brings clarity many times.
That is why becoming protective of your relationship and re-evaluating the people and influences in your life is another way you know that a man loves you.
It’s not that he instantly distances himself from everyone, but he realizes that certain friends or behaviors are not aligned with the future he envisions with you.
This change happens because he knows that to build something meaningful with you, he can’t let negative influences derail what you are creating.
For instance, let’s say he has friends who constantly indulge in reckless habits, wild partying, risky behavior, or even those who disrespect your relationships.
Or he’s with a group of friends who are always throwing around temptations or feeding negative ideas.
Maybe they joke about cheating or never settling down.
Before, he might have shrugged off their behavior, thinking, “That’s just how they are,” but when he’s committed to you, he’ll start noticing how these influences could jeopardize what you share.
It’s not about being controlled or losing himself; rather, he becomes conscious of the environment he’s creating for the two of you.
Toxic friends and family members are not left out.
Family members who don’t have your best interests at heart will also be given space because he values your relationship more.
7. Unrealistic expectations
Before he met you, he might have had a mental checklist of a perfect partner in his mind who never gets tired, always looks flawless, never disagrees, and knows exactly how to cater to his every need.
But once he’s in love, reality sets in, and he starts to understand that love isn’t about fitting someone into a mold.
It’s about cherishing the person in front of him, imperfections and all, and knowing that those little quirks are what makes the relationship special.
When a man truly loves you, he begins to let go of unrealistic expectations because he values you for who you are, not for some idealized version of a partner.
It’s a natural shift when he realizes that genuine love is about acceptance and growth together, not perfection.
Let’s say he used to think his partner should always dress to impress, even on lazy Sundays.
But when he’s in love with you, he finds himself appreciating those moments when you’re in your most relaxed, comfortable state, whether it’s lounging in sweats or with messy hair.
He no longer believes that you should always be on display because he sees beauty in the authentic, everyday version of you.
Another common expectation people often have of their partners is that they should always be upbeat and ready for anything.
But in reality, everyone has bad days, moments of stress, or times when they want to be left alone.
Instead of expecting you to be a constant source of joy or energy, a man who loves you will adjust and realize that it’s okay for you to have your down moments.
He’ll learn to support you in those times rather than be disappointed when you’re not “on” all the time.
He’ll stop expecting perfection from you and accept you as you are, flaws and all.
He’ll ditch the idea that you have to be a certain way to be worthy of his love and embrace every part of you instead.
8. Rash decisions
We can all be impulsive sometimes, making decisions on the go and just living without giving things much thought.
But not when it becomes detrimental.
When a man loves you, he starts to shift from living in the moment to thinking more about the future—and not just his own, but your future together.
Impulsiveness, once a trait that might have defined him, whether it was spontaneous trips, random spending, or decisions made without much thought, starts to fade.
He becomes more intentional about his actions because he realizes that building a life with you requires thoughtfulness, planning, and a long-term vision.
It’s not that he loses his sense of adventure, but he starts weighing the consequences of his decisions, knowing they impact not just him but the relationship.
For example, a man who used to spend money impulsively on gadgets or random nights out may begin to reconsider those habits.
Instead of buying the latest tech on a whim, he’ll think about saving for future goals, like a shared home or even starting a family.
He might still enjoy spontaneous moments, but now there’s a balance because he’s also thinking ahead.
He’ll plan for vacations instead of diving into last-minute trips that disrupt your budget, or he’ll start having conversations with you about where you both see yourselves in a few years.
His focus shifts from the “now” to the “what comes next” because he wants to build something stable with you.
9. Secrets
No one is perfect, and a man who wasn’t a great communicator before may not suddenly change by some magic just because he fell in love with you.
However, he will be willing to do better and gradually change.
When a man truly loves you, he starts to realize the importance of open and honest communication.
Poor communication habits start to change, like shutting down during disagreements, keeping secrets, giving silent treatment, or being vague about his feelings.
He understands that to build trust and intimacy, he needs to share his thoughts, express his emotions, and actively listen to yours.
It’s not always easy, especially if he’s used to keeping things bottled up, but love motivates him to improve because he values the connection you share.
Maybe in the past, he would’ve kept little things to himself, whether it was spending time with friends or details about his day, thinking it wasn’t a big deal.
But now, he recognizes that even small secrets create distance.
Love encourages transparency, so he’ll become more open about the things he might’ve previously hidden.
10. Material possessions
A man who loves you will see that life does not revolve around his possessions or desires and love is more about creating something meaningful together.
The things that once mattered most to him—his material possessions, personal time, or comfort—start to take a backseat as he realizes the joy that comes from sharing life with you.
He doesn’t abandon everything, but he’s no longer attached to “his stuff.”
Whether it’s letting you use his favorite chair, lending you his prized belongings, giving you gifts and money, or even sharing his space more freely, love so opens him up to the idea that what’s his is yours too.
My man used to be the type who never let anyone touch his car or invade his personal space, but when he met me, those rigid boundaries softened.
He hands over the keys to me without thinking twice.
The joy of seeing me comfortable and happy far outweighs his attachment to his possessions or his need to have things “just so.”
A man in love starts to make compromises because he knows it’s important to you.
Love inspires him to grow and stretch beyond his selfish desires.
He’s also willing to ditch many things, including his comfort zone, because being with you, sharing experiences, and building memories together means more than sticking to what’s easy and familiar.
When a man truly loves you, he’s often willing to make certain sacrifices to prioritize you and the relationship.
These sacrifices demonstrate his commitment and love, showing that he’s willing to make changes and prioritize the relationship for a happier, healthier future together.
It’s not an overnight change, but it’s a conscious one.
