Low Standards, Low Expectations, And Too Much Tolerance Part 2 - Impacting Righteously
A lot of women end up very unhappy in their relationships. Most domestic violence and domestic homicides are perpetrated by men against their women. Sadly, some cases are also women perpetrators against their men.
• Why do some women seem to be obsessed with being in a relationship?
• Why are some suffering, unhappy in their relationship, but clinging to the relationship for dear life to avoid being single?
• Why do many women breeze through life, too carefree, not cautious enough?
• What is all the relationship fuss about?
The desire for love is not harmful when it is a healthy desire. God created people with this desire. People who are relatively healthy do desire relationship with other people.
God is love. God is holy. God is a God of relationship. God is first priority, and He is King. Being a son or daughter of God is our primary relationship.
My relationship with God should be the catalyst for all my other relationships.
Unfortunately, some women make an idol out of love, and the idea of love. Once the idea of love becomes an idol, everything goes downhill. Women are not able to make the wisest or safest choices when their desire for love becomes an obsession.
There is societal pressure, pressure from family, friends, the influence of fairy tales, romance novels, music, and natural desire that plays a role in a woman’s fixation on love.
Two things are clear:
1) There is nothing wrong with desiring in a healthy way be in love and be married.
2) There are men out there who will make a godly spouse and be a blessing to their wife.
In other words, the problem is not that there aren’t any decent men, and the problem is not that some women desire to get married.
Some Christian women fail to surrender fully to God, and let Him guide and protect them in all aspects of life.
In particular, some women are pretty self-willed when it comes to relationships with men.
Consequently, they make unwise and unsafe decisions when choosing their relationship partners.
It is important that a woman seek God’s will above all else, trust in Him, prioritize correctly, and be wise in her decisions.
A woman should know her worth independently of men’s approval, and independently of a man putting a ring on her finger.
Some women repeatedly put themselves into the hands of men who are broken, untrained, undisciplined, have not been sufficiently held accountable, and have not been bred for love or relationships. The acceptance and tolerance some women have for these types of men is both mind boggling and scary!
Women continue to suffer at the hands of broken men. This suffering is commonly allowed, tolerated, and sustained for some women. They place themselves in the same situations over and over again.
The reasons for them doing this are complicated. Women are often victims of wrong conditioning. Plenty girls are not taught their worth. They are pressured by tradition and society to have a man. Consequently, many women do not properly value themselves independently of their relationships with men.
Why decent men are hard to find.
As previously discussed, many boys do not grow up raised properly in their homes. Some fathers (and mothers) do not train, instruct, and discipline their boys correctly.
Fathers sometimes do not sufficiently model the example of righteousness, love, and selflessness, to their sons. They give them too much free reign to do what they want to do.
Plenty fathers are big on encouraging their sons to succeed corporately, and to play sports, perhaps. Those things are fine, but there is far more to life than sports and having material wealth and success.
Sometimes, even when a father is strict and provides some structure for his son(s), he still may neglect to teach and show his son(s) how to have healthy relationships, and how to love a woman.
In addition, the lack of accountability and lack of righteous character formation that starts in a boy’s childhood often carries over into adulthood.
Such boys may end up being misguided and stubborn men. They may become charming professionals who attract women that don’t understand the importance of looking deeper than on the surface. It is common for women to be drawn to the man who looks good on the surface.
Some women are eager to settle down and fulfill their dream of having a man, marriage, and children. Charm and the right words spoken can win some women over.
Ill-informed women and untrained men tend to create dysfunctional unions.
Many women have a lack of preparedness, along with an overzealous desire for relationships and marriage. So many girls are not equipped with head knowledge about the game before they start dating.
At the same time, some men lack relationship and marriage preparation. They are also negatively influenced by peer pressure, locker room talks, and have an aversion to committment.
For these reasons, women are vulnerable, easily wind up in unhealthy relationships, and often get the short end of the stick in their relationships.
Is earthly marriage the end all? No. Should marriage be the main and final goal? No. Women were created for God. Not every woman was meant to be married or will get married.
Women of God were created to be a helpmeet to a man in marriage (if she chooses to marry) encouraging, affirming and supporting her husband in doing the will of God, if it is God’s will that she be married.
It is all about Jesus. The bottom line is that all things are created by God for God (Colossians 1: 16-17). People have different assignments in this life. As long as each person does the will of God is what matters.
Their are even professed Christian women who have chosen to be with, and assist ungodly men in their rebellion against God. Consequently, these women are outside of God’s will.
Some men want to control, use, abuse women, and be perverts.
Many women have been their dedicated supporters and sustainers.
Some women constantly enable men in their debauchery. There are men who enable their women in the same way. Personally, I want God’s will, and not the enemy’s will to be done in my life. It is good for women to set the right standards, and not ignore their intuition and discernment.
I want to take care of myself and be healthy and holy in mind, body, and spirit. Bad relationships are major joy stealers. It helps quality of life if I do not become an enabler of an ungodly man who rebels against God.
I refuse to date, marry, and have a family with a man who refuses to obey God. This is one of my contributions to society. Women’s minds should be made up that they will serve God and will follow Jesus, no matter what. This means no settling for less. Women are to be loved, valued, and honored; not used, abused, dominated, controlled, etc. Men are to be respected, loved and valued as well.
When a woman knows her worth, she is not likely to settle for a man who does not value her.
It is good that most men do not accept a woman’s disrespect. Likewise, women should respect themselves enough to not accept abuse and disrespect from men. Therefore, don’t put up with it.
For those women who are awake, please stay awake. Don’t let people talk you down and talk you out of having high standards. There are people who taunt women and threaten that they will have permanent single status, because these women have chosen to raise the bar and not settle for less.
Stay strong, beautiful ladies! Women of God must stay strong in the Lord, stay strong in prayer, and in resolve that no matter what, they will serve the Lord and will NOT settle for a man who does not serve and fear the Lord.
