It’s intriguing to see the above here. Recently, I found this on another site with a screen shot of a situation involving Steve Kelly and Alice hundy (AJ Hundy) work colleagues, whom had an affair. The dynamics are complicated, with one admitting to the affair to all and the other denying it with claims of rejection and fake photos (which all know isn’t true) Regardless they were both caught twice by the husband, how does someone move forward with their spouse after knowing that they have been cheating on them with the same person over such a time period and catching them twice?

I understand to move forward acknowledging the truth is crucial, as unresolved issues can strain relationships, but the impact is not just the on the couple but also future family dynamics, especially with children involved. In most if not all cases isn’t choosing honesty over denial essential for everyone’s well-being? the focus should be on moving forward and not dwelling on the past finding happiness, and embracing joy in life. but how does one move forward knowing that their spouse has been emotionally and physically involved with another for a prolonged period of time?

What is the best course of action to be taken in cases like these? How does one move forward for a better life after this?

-Jason

I am not familiar with that particular situation. However, I get the idea from your description.

You asked,

…how does someone move forward with their spouse after knowing that they have been cheating on them with the same person over such a time period and catching them twice?

Personally, I do not think it is about moving forward with the same partner after catching them cheating twice. They are habitual liars and cheats at that point. Is it wise or foolish to continue trusting someone who has proven they are untrustworthy?

You continue,

I understand to move forward acknowledging the truth is crucial, as unresolved issues can strain relationships, but the impact is not just the on the couple but also future family dynamics, especially with children involved. In most if not all cases isn’t choosing honesty over denial essential for everyone’s well-being? the focus should be on moving forward and not dwelling on the past finding happiness, and embracing joy in life. but how does one move forward knowing that their spouse has been emotionally and physically involved with another for a prolonged period of time?

Yes, truth is the bare minimum needed to rebuild a totally torched marriage. The Cheater needs to deal with the lies that they told themselves to “justify” their sins. So, it is much more than “just” divulging what was done sinfully. A lot of work is required of the Cheater for their to be any hope of a godly rebuild. Most Cheaters are unwilling to do this work. It requires humility, which they usually do not have.

You close with the following:

What is the best course of action to be taken in cases like these? How does one move forward for a better life after this?

In cases like these, I believe divorce and then rebuilding of one’s life is the best course of action. God permits this (see Mt 19:9).

The Cheater has shown that they are capable of a double-life of sin. It is a habit. The likelihood that they will change and give up this sort of life is very low. Staying will then likely results in discovering more affairs and experiencing more abuse from the Cheater. That is why divorce is best of the bad options left, in my opinion.

Hope that helps!

-Pastor David (aka DM)